Welcome everybody to my commentary

I've got so much talent, it's a little scary

Is my every random thought insightful? Very

Not just entertaining- I'm a luminary

Neil Patrick Harris- Commentary! The Musical

Sunday, May 24, 2009

ScoMan vs Eminem

66%. 8 votes. It's a new record for ScoMan vs Eminem in this weeks "Which blog would you like to read next?"

This post was formerly referred to as "This Is Her Dream v 2.0". I must say though, I do feel a little bit sorry for Adelaide. It never polls many votes. So next week there is no poll, you're getting the Adelaide post whether you like it or not.

The ugly duckling of the polling will become a beautiful swan yet. Just you wait and see.

And before I start, I want to say a few thank you's. I know we all say we write for ourselves, and primarily I do write for myself. It keeps me sane(ish). But that doesn't mean a little bit of recognition isn't a wonderful thing. So to PinkNic for giving me her Reader of the Week last week, and to Random Hiccups for adding yours truly among a few Blog Crushes, I say thank you for letting me know that my time on this big ol bloggosphere doesn't go unnoticed. Some blog love right back to both of you ladies.

Actually, with PinkNic giving me her reader of the week, I admit I felt a little bit like Arthur on "The King of Queens". The episode where he works hard to be the customer of the month at his local coffee shop. Well, my customer of the month was the awards she gave me last week. And they were great, I loved them. Just like Arthur loved his customer of the month award. And, just as Arthurs eyes moved up from his picture on the wall, so too did my eyes move sideways from the awards I was given. Where he spotted the "employee of the month" picture which was much bigger than his own, and I spotted the "reader of the week" title which I thought would be nice to have. It's funny how life so often imitates sitcoms (or at least, my life does. Or maybe I just look for the sitcom moments in everday life).

But now, for the feature presentation...

I resisted jumping on the Twitter bandwagon for a long time. I didn't see how it could be of any use to me in my everyday life. In the first 48 hours however, I realised how much fun I'd been missing out on.

This is one of my first Twitter conversations (is it called a conversation? I'm a n00b, I'm still learning the correct terminology for things.)

australiandaisy I totally had a dream about your bobble head and that pic of you on your blog where you can't see your face last night LOL
australiandaisy and that sounded a lot creepier than it really was - umm... yeah. I think I had blogging on the brain.about 1 hour ago from web
thisisScoMan Awesome. Was the dream about anything in particular? Or just a random sequence of events? 36 minutes ago
australiandaisy I think you were a rapper in my dream. it was like the 8 mile movie and you didn't want people to know your identity. so weird 33 minutes ago
australiandaisy don't ask me why I dreamed you as the star of an 8 mile-esque movie. LOL. sooooo crazy 31 minutes ago
thisisScoMan hahaha that's hilarious.. I have an idea why you might have dreamed in that scenario.. first of all there's the hood and.. 27 minutes ago
thisisScoMan then there's the lyric from the song "Back to the lab again yo This whole rap s**t" .. where I stole my last title from 26 minutes ago
australiandaisy HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I think you're right. LOL. that's what I like to call CLASSIC 24 minutes ago from web
thisisScoMan I like the idea of being a hidden rapper by the way. I'm putting that as my occupation on the next census. 21 minutes ago

Yes, Daisy, the girl with the innappropriate acronym is back. And yes, I do have her express written consent to both post that conversation here, as well as use her name. She showed great trust in me, right up to the point when I said "The post will be great, trust me" There's something about a man who says "Trust me" that puts women offside. But it was too late, she had already signed her life away, and so the post continues.

My first reaction to this dream and subsequent conversation was "Yeah, me in an 8 mile type situation, that could happen. It's so me and everything.. " (I know sarcasm is hard to portray on the Internet, but I hope that was read with a sarcastic tone. If not, go back and read it again)

But then I got to thinking.. are Eminem and I really so different?

Is it completely outside the realms of possiblity that someday, I could be a household name?

Is it possible that Daisy's dream was actually a psychic vision? A glimpse into my future?

Well, let's compare ScoMan with Eminem (hence the clever title of this post).

To begin with, as Eminem is a play on Marshall Mathers, so too is ScoMan a play on my first and surname. On the subject of names, my first name also ends with double letters and my surname starts with "Ma". You see the signs you can find if you look hard enough? For the record, if I took his style of stage name I would be Esinem.

Moving off names and onto birthdays now..
Eminems birthday is 17/10/72
ScoMans birthday is 16/11/83 (put it in your diaries people)
The differences there aren't huge. It's only one between each number, if there is any difference at all.

Times wrote about Eminem, when reviewing the book his mother wrote called "My Son Marshall, My Son Eminem"
"Instead of working on new music, Eminem spends his days watching television, playing video games and gorging on junk food inside his Detroit mansion"

ScoMan's mum wrote about him in a christmas letter to her family (which Times unfortunately didn't get around to reviewing)
"Hopefully now that he has finished studying this year and won't have himself buried in his text books any more, he'll leave the comfort of his flat and do more social things and make new friends" ... not any time soon mother. (When I wasn't studying I was watching television, playing video games and gorging on junk food)

Which I guess explains why we have both also had weight problems.

Also, we've both been referred to as divas at some point in our lives. I don't think we're divas. I think we're just misunderstood. Although, I did have a diva moment when my peep, the girl in the stiletto passed on this award to me.

She didn't give me the award at first. But after throwing a diva hissy fit / guilt trip on her, she eventually caved in and I got my way. I always get my way. Maybe that's why I was called a diva.

But life for us (yes, I'm speaking on behalf of my new found soulmate as well now) isn't all about being an overweight reclusive diva. There are some positives as well.

We are both the kings of the modern era of our art. We have in fact, both redefined our art. Eminem said it first, and now I'll say it.. "No matter how many fish in the sea, it'd be so empty without me"

Obviously, we have both also realised that our chosen artform does not provide much room for rebutal. Sure, you can tell me I'm wrong in my comment box, but like anyone who wrote a bad review about Eminem discovered, the critics voice is never heard as loudly as the artist's.

Also, we both look damn fine in a hood, if I do say so myself (again, you can't argue with that. Nobody will hear you, so you might as well just play along).

But I can't go through this post, which started by mentioning a young ladies dream, without doing my bit to use this unique opportunity I've been given, to make that young ladies dream come true...

Does that look at all familiar Daisy? I would have to put myself in the top three rappers in Australia. If you're interested, this would be my competition (watch them, have a laugh, and thank me later)

What do you think? Can I outrap those two fools or what?

Daisy, I hope you've enjoyed this post. I hope it's met up to your expectations, or indeed exceeded them if your expectations for the post were low. But I really hope that you've learned a valueable lesson, that sometimes it's okay to trust a male who says "Trust me" I'm also going to give you the Queen of a Bloggy Things Awwessummm for being the driving force behind this and for being the driving force behind your own blog, which is excellent as well.

And I hope the rest of you enjoyed it as well. If you did, you should defintely go over to Daisy's blog and thank her for both the idea, and her permission to write this post, even though she had no idea what was coming (and also for the manipulation in suggesting I change the name of the post so that more people may vote for it). And if you really enjoyed it, perhaps I'll see several more statements like this throughout the week..

australiandaisythnx to @thisisScoMan I've changed the FB status now to "just because today was the best day ever doesn't mean tomorrow can't be better." :)

Okay, that time I didn't have her express written consent to post that here. Nor did I have her implied oral consent. I might run into trouble with intellectual property theft there, so I'll do my best to disappear now before the authorities arrive.


  1. That completely cracked me up. Which was actually hard to do this time because I am studying theory of lit and that is like a root canal without pain killers. So yay.

    I have to be honest here. I hate not reading your posts every second day. I hate hate it. But. I really enjoy your weekly posts as of late. So, I guess you made the right choice there Mister.

    That was really hard to admit. Now I've gotta go prove I was right about something else. Hubs better watch out! :)

  2. this was excellent laughed so hard and am gonna take a guess tht your first name is SCOTT!!!i won't even attempt the surname thts slightly more difficult!

    you really need to blog more SERIOUSLY am gonna start a petition or fb group or something to appeal to your soft spot aka heart!!!

  3. (I just wrote you the longest comment EVER and then it didn't post and I lost it! I'm not impressed. But I'll try and write it again from memory, ScoMan, just for you. It went something like this...)

    OMG! Those insurance adverts are just weird. Haha! You're a lot better at rapping than them. You'll definitely make it big...you're already my favourite Australian rapper. Because I don't know of any others.

    And because you use bobbleheads as props, which is just cool.

    Twitter is great, see – in the first day or two of signing up you already had an idea for a blog post! I hated it at first, I didn't 'get it' at all. Now I'm obsessed. I think it must have some kind of magic quality or something that drags you in, lol.

    And I can't believe your own mother wrote that stuff in a letter to your family! I'd kill my mum if she did that. But what are parents for if they can't embarrass us once in a while? The bastards.

    Oh and you're welcome about the Reader of the Week thing, although I didn't get the guy in the coffee shop reference! But anyway. I'm guessing you meant you like it, which is good.

    Finally, thanks for posting those two pics of Eminem, I heart him.

    Since you only post once a week now and spend longer on writing your blog, I feel like I have to spend more time on my comment and write a longer-than-usual one. Is this good enough?

    See ya next week, ScoMan! (Or maybe today, on the mighty Twitter!)

  4. Ohmygosh omgosh omgosh. I lold through the WHOLE POST!!! I had VERY high expectations and you still more than exceeded them. :) Who knew that you and MM have so much in common?? ;)

    K so my fave parts of the video are 1/2 through when you totally start bobbing along with the beat (ok you didn't BOB but you sure were movin' with it) then the ending - well - what can I say? I <3 the bobble head. :) (though I was seriously worried you were going to decapitate it!!)

    Those CGU commercials are so terribly awesome I can't even believe it! You are a WAY better rapper - but OMGOSH - the terrible goodness of those commercials almost makes me wish I had the patience to watch TV.

    Thanks for the award!!! I will have to do a shout out to this post tomorrow and post the award then. :)

    Still laughing btw - this was SO FAB!!! You've restored my faith in men. ;) Can't wait to hear about adelaide next week.

  5. I'm glad you're on twitter, all those inappropriate stuff I posted that you can read make us much closer, right?:P

  6. hello scoman!! i freaking missed your posts. you better post more than once a week - and this is me returning you the diva hissy fit lol.

    i caved in after you had an episode of diva hissy fit. it's either you're such a great diva hissy fit giver or i'm such a weakling that i surrendered after the first attack. ahaha.

    i cannot stop laughing at your eminem lipsync-ing.

    *and jumping around too, as i've been jumping around for the past hour around the blogsphere* :D

  7. Hey.. came scross a comment you wrote on another blog(FWB) about hope being lost.. really liked your comment..

  8. Oh my effing God! this post is hilarious ScoMan!
    I love it! and you totally rock as a rapper..excellent video biatch!

  9. Scozizzle, you're killing me with these long posts!!!

    I like your Eminem paralells...the whole thing truly is uncanny.

    I love that episode of King of Queens & finally got to watch Paul Blart Mall Cop.

    And that Ada-something place- I met a girl from there! I knew it sounded familiar.

  10. I guess I'm going to have to say that I too, miss your more frequent posts. But if a once a weeker is as entertaining as this one, I guess I can be at peace with it. LMAO!!!ROF!!!!

    and p.s. pants legs stuffed into your socks would be a bonus to your up and coming fame! But, they have to be wickedly awesome, you know, to rivel your bobblehead rapping...

  11. Hey you! I miss you! You really need to post more than once a week. tsk tsk... sad puppy brown eyes... =(

  12. ROFLOL - Go the bobble head :)


Every time you comment, I love you a little more...