Welcome everybody to my commentary

I've got so much talent, it's a little scary

Is my every random thought insightful? Very

Not just entertaining- I'm a luminary

Neil Patrick Harris- Commentary! The Musical

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Facebook Fail Friday #13- Merry Chirstmas!

Hello ScoFans!

Friday's 13th and it falls on Christmas. The starts are aligning and we bring in this weeks round of festive fails.

Why that good for nothing! How dare he have some sort of serious injury or illness that requires him to spend time in a hospital? How inconsiderate of him! He's probably just faking that broken leg to upset you.

Wow Tim, that's a pretty horrible Christmas. I can't imagine how it could get much worse.

Yep, okay, you win Jason.
Tickle me Elmo's for everyone!
Let's have a vote. In the comments section, let me know if you think Mark
a/ wants to hit that, you know he wants to hit that or
b/ has hit it and quit it
I'd be interested to know what you guys think. Personally I'm leaning towards a.

And now I leave you with this little Christmas jingle...

Until next time...

ScoMan's fifth (and final!) day of giving

Hello ScoFans!

Well, it's finally here. The last day of this whole "giving" thing. How some of you blog every day is beyond me. It's been a struggle just to get this far. In fact, I think I've earned the month of January off. And a promotion. And a pay rise. And a bigger office. Get me those things, then we'll talk Unicorns. Did I say Unicorns? I meant Dragons.

Anyway, I got this award today from Hilbilly Duhn and I think it is one of the best awards I have ever seen or received..

Hilarious isn't it? I don't have to do anything with this award. Only show it off proudly and make you all jealous (and also give you the mental image of squirrels in socks)

But she did kind of steal my thunder a bit. See because this is my 150th post. I couldn't find any awards to give out, and so I too made my own. Ready for the grand unveiling...

I know. It was cool before, but now it looks lame after that other one. But don't worry because remember..

There we go. And you're back.

For those of you who don't know, "Scosome" is a word created by the girl in the stiletto which means "Awesome things to do with ScoMan" (or something like that. She might need to correct me on the definition there)

Anyway, I thought I'd use that term to show my appreciation for fifteen bloggers for their awesome blogs, their great comments, and for all the other bloggy stuff during the 2009 year.

Fifteen bloggers. Fifteen blood spots. Because I wish I could keep your blood Dexter style in my air conditioning unit so that we'd always be close.

Too much?


Anyway, to the bloggers!

Five other winners
Jewels Diva

Four fourth day winners

Speaking From The Crib

Three third day winners
Hillbilly Duhn

Two second day winners
Australian Daisy
The Girl in the Stiletto

And the only one who won on day one
Insomniac Lolita

So there you have it. The 2009 Scosome awards. If I remember to, I'll do this again next year, so if you don't see your name there, you'll just have to work harder.

Congrats to all the winners.

Until tomorrow (Because I wouldn't leave you guys without a Facebook Fail Friday)

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

ScoMan's fourth day of giving

Hello ScoFans!

This one came to me from Insomnica Lolita who I have already steered you in the direction of this week, but if you didn't go then then go now because once I get this car started we're not stopping again until we reach your grandmothers and if you need to go while I'm driving, well you'll just have to do it in a cup.

So this is obviously the Thank You for the Blogging Award, but did you know it is the 2009 edition? Oh yeah, in just over a week this baby goes out of style and a whole new model rolls out. So I decided to take this chance to get in on this TYFTB2009 while the gettin's good, and deliver it today, before it's out of date.

For this one I'm supposed to choose at least four bloggers, and in at least 3 words say why they are so awesome.

I'm going to make it exactly three words, because that to me is more challenging than 3 words or more.

And I'll stick to the other thing as well. Is there anything I can't do?

You can't make it rhyme.

Oh that sounds like a challenge. You're on bitch!

Fuck you.

No, you know what? Fuck you too. I'm gonna let my talent do the talking.

We'll see.

We'll see is right.


Yeah I'm gonna do my thing now.


I know it's good.

Hope you enjoy it.

I hope you enjoy it.

Dude, I ain't gonna read it. There's TV to be watched.

Yeah. Fair enough.

Awe From the Hood
some From the Library
Blog She's so good
gers She's not scary

*Yeah okay I was lazy with that group. It was too hard to find four of something and get awards to all the people I wanted to get them to, you know? Argh, you don't care*

Three Well written stuff
Wise Keeps it fresh
Men Makes me laugh

*Pronounced properly, stuff and laugh do so rhyme*

NaNo Writing style's spesh
Novelists She's great too

And a long lost blister Still good value

Ha! I guess I sure showed that guy.

Until tomorrow, when we finally wrap this up.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

ScoMan's third day of giving

Hello ScoFans!

Day three and I'm beginning to realise why I don't usually post on weekdays. I guess we're all just lucky there's nothing good on TV tonight or I would have failed right here and now, and I know you would hate to see me fail.

Although a new dilemma has entered the mix, because I can only think of one other award that is floating out there, and with two days to go.. well I'm sure you can see the problem. If you've given me an award I haven't accepted, let me know.

This award comes to me from over at "365 days of people"

Here I am complaining about blogging four days in a row, Nomad blogs a lot more days in a row than that. 361 more days in fact. If you haven't checked out his blog yet take the time. He writes about a different group every day, usually pointing out their flaws and trying to help them be better people, although lately he has gone a bit soft (he claims it's because of the holiday season. I personally think when you spew hate over the web for more than 100 days eventually it's going to all disappear and you'll be nicer to everyone)

I'm not sure what the rules are for this one. He wrote about 10 individuals that make him happy. I could do the same.. nay, I will do the same! (I doubt there'll be many surprises for most of you though.)

1- Dexter
Obvious first cab off the rank, for reasons I've made all too clear here in the past.

2- AJ
Love spending time with my niece, and looking forward to seeing her over Christmas.

3- Jigsaw
Love his mind games. Love the way he makes the world a better place.

4- Nathan Fillion
He makes Twitter a better place

5- Dr Horrible
Another great role model for the kids.

6- Joss Whedon
A bit of a trend developing, but I'm too tired to think too hard.

7- Me
Without me, I couldn't be happy. Mostly because I wouldn't exist, but mostly because I'm pretty awesome.

8- Tina Fey
Has providing me with many laughs for many years.

9- Dante
Looking forward to the video game

10- Maynard James Keenan
Fantastic musician.

Okay, now to pass this on in the method we are all becoming accustomed to..

Three prize senders
Two laughing latte's
One oxygen giver upper

Until tomorrow, as this maddness rolls on.

Monday, December 21, 2009

ScoMan's second day of giving

Hello ScoFans!

Well, it's ScoMan's second day of the giving season and today I'm giving away this little treat.

Just as well I got it in now because in 10 days that baby goes out of date.

This one was given to me by the girls over at Life Laugh Latte. They do a lot of fun vlogs about.. well just about life in general. The different little things that make it up and that you have to take the time to enjoy. The few of you who don't already follow them, head over and give them a look.

This one didn't come with any rules but Sameera tagged me to tell 7 truths about myself. Things that nobody knows. Well, that's hard, but I'll try anyway.

1- This is one that some of you would have seen and assumed, but now I'm going to make it certain in your minds and share it with the rest of my readers.

I think this is funny. Nobody else agrees.

When you're playing "Words with Friends" on your iPhone and you put in the word "Quo", the game tells you that's not a real word. But without "Quo", then the status quo wouldn't exist, and if we don't' have the status quo, what do we have?

2- I just watched "The Middle" for the first time. The tag said nothing about being interesting, it just said I had to tell truths about me that nobody knows. Nobody knew that.

3- It makes me sick when people don't shave properly and there's just one random hair out on it's own. I just.. stare at it.. and my stomach gets all funny.

4- I hate it when people whistle. The sound just drives me crazy. And really, what does it achieve? What is it's purpose? If you're whistling along with a song then whatever, but to just whistle for no reason? Seriously, shut up.

5- I planned on seeing The Dark Knight until Heath Ledger died. Then I boycotted it because I hated all the people who saw it just because Heath Ledger died, and there was the big fuss about it.

6- I'm only doing these awards and tags because I have no motivation to write much else

7- I usually leave anything with "TMI Thursday" in the heading sitting in my reader until I've read everything else. Not because I'm saving the best for last.

Anyway, time to pass this award on to some people who can choose whether or not they want to do the 7 truths..

Two Facebook Friends
And an American Girl in Australia

Until tomorrow (Assuming I can keep up this pace)

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Sometimes You Have To Bend The Rules

Hello ScoFans!

Well, I sit here today a bit stumped as to what to write (and I know if I wrote nothing most of you would lose track of which day it was) and so I am going to break.. no, "bend".. one of the few rules I have when it comes to blogging.

Actually there's only two rules.

Don't blog about religion.

Don't blog about politics.

There's a few reasons I try to avoid these topics. First of all when someone comes knocking on your door and wants to discuss religion with you, do you let them in? No, you say "Not interested" and send them on their way.

And then with politics, well, I believe nobody knows everything about what really happens in these government circles. People have positions and opinions they will defend to the death, but so much of that is based on misinformation or incomplete information (For a hill, men would kill - Why? They do not know.. For Whom The Bell Tolls- Metallica), that I just don't see the point in writing about such serious stuff when I don't think all the facts are there.

Plus people get way too sensitive when it comes to that stuff and try to twist and bend your words so that they can feel offended and whatever, and I don't like having my words twisted.

But there is one thing I kept coming back to for today's post. One thing that wouldn't go away. It crowded out any other ideas that tried to fight there way in.

File:Mary mackillop.jpg

This is Mary MacKillop. Today (or yesterday, depending on where you live.. or three days ago if you're reading this two days from now) her second miracle was confirmed by the Vatican which means that she is going to become Australia's first Saint.

Now some Jesuit priest "playfully" suggested this week, that perhaps she'll be the "Patron Saint of Troublemaking" (which looks like it will at least be her unofficial tag, it's sticking in everything I've read), which to me is like... okay, it's time for a list..
  • making an English person the Patron Saint of poor dental hygiene
  • making an American the Patron Saint of fast food
  • making a New Zealander the Patron Saint of sheep
  • making an Irish person the Patron Saint of bar fights
  • making a Canadian the Patron Saint of wood chopping
  • making a French person the Patron Saint of body odor
  • making an Italian the Patron Saint of sleaze
  • making a Mexican the Patron Saint of cheap labour
  • making a Dutch person the Patron Saint of clogs
  • making a Scottish person the Patron Saint of soccer riots
The list could go on. Anyway, it's playing to some sort of stereotype is I guess the point I was trying to make there (At least they're not calling her "The Patron Saint of doing Shit All").

To me, the whole thing is one big PR exercise. They're targeting the Australian audience by giving us a Saint, and making a big deal about how someone who didn't get along with the Church Hierarchy can still earn this title (albeit 100 years after it all happened, so most of the people she caused problems with are probably long dead. Except the current Pope who must be well into his 700s by now)

Speaking of the current Pope, has anyone told him that's not even a real Poping hat? Hasn't he ever seen a cartoon? I think I've seen him wearing the real one a few times, but most of the time he wears some other thing.

Anyway, seeing as it is the season for giving I've decided today and for the next 4 days I'll give out some of the awards I've been holding onto in ScoMan's 5 days of Christmas. Today, because this is about as much attitude as you'll ever get from me (or anger wrapped in attitude wrapped in humor) I'll pass on the award I got most recently..

This one came from Daffy over at Batcrap Crazy who works at an Inner City High School, and that makes for some interesting stories which she shares with her followers in her "Convos From the Hood" which are always a great read.

I don't think this one comes with any rules, and even if it did I wouldn't follow them because I have attitude. And I make my own rules. And if I had sunglasses that I could wear inside then I totally would be right now but I can't because my only sunglasses are those transition ones that are like normal glasses inside but then you go outside and they turn into sunglasses but I can't even wear them right now because I'm at the computer and that means I have to wear my reading glasses. Whatever, even without the sunglasses I've still got attitude.

Anyway, I don't know how many people I'm supposed to pass this on to but because it's ScoMan's five days of Christmas, I pass it on to one person, the blogger I know with the most attitude..

One rapping law student

This does mean I will have to try to find time to blog every night this week. Most of them will just be awards things, should be easy.. right?

Until tomorrow.. (I guess)..

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Facebook Fail Friday #12- You idiot.

Hello ScoFans!

Another week has gone by, so let's get into another round of Facebook Fails.

This week, we're just looking at people who will make you feel better about yourself (I guess we do that every week. Hmmmm....)

This works on so many levels. Applying for college. Trying to sound smart with the phrase "ridiculous idiom".. and then it all comes apart. Poor Eric.

Who is on first.

Do you know what else makes soggy bread? If you put it in water.

*Raises a hand. And then an eyebrow which simply says "Really?"*

Don't you feel like telling Jacqueline that Al Qaeda is a special way to prepare Quail? Or Afghanistan's answer to Al Bundy?

Enjoy your weekends.

Until next time...

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Go over there, and over there, and then I realise stuff

Hello ScoFans!

First things first, I have a giveaway to mention. He over to Not the Oxygen for your chance to win some very pretty hair.. clip.. type.. things. I'm not sure of their technical name, but they're clips to go in your hair and are pretty.

And guys, as excited as you are by the thought of winning hair clips, there may be an even BETTER prize for you, so don't go signing up just yet. If hair clips aren't your thing, you can elect to enter to win a jar for your Pizza Farts. I don't know what a Pizza Fart is either, but there's a jar with Pizza Fart written on it. It's hilarious, go over to Not the Oxygen and check it out.

Secondly, there are a lot of new readers here. A lot of new commentors on my last post. I have dedicated a good portion of the weekend to trying to get to you all and personally thank you for stopping by, and check out your blogs. So far, I haven't got to all of you. I will keep plugging away at it. I do like to take the time to check out anyone who takes the time to check out all this going on here, but so far I haven't found the time to get to all of you. My bad.

For those of you wondering "What's with all the new followers?", well, it's because I wrote an awesome guest post for "SPEAKING FROM THE CRIB" You can go here to check it out. I know some of you are thinking "Nice try buddy, but I've already clicked once to read your writing. I'm so not clicking again to be linked off somewhere else to read what you have to say", and to you I say, you're missing out. You're missing out on seeing if it's possible to make a tale about bestiality PG-13. What with me being the poster boy of innocence and all things not disgusting, I think if there was a short list of people who would be up to this task, I'd be near the top. At least in the top 50. Anyway, head over there and see if I succeed.

And while you're there, check out her post about her recent attack whilst walking her dog.

So because I've been sending you all over the Internet, because I've spent a lot of time reading blogs this weekend, because I have new followers and this will be a chance for them to learn about me, because I haven't done one of these for a while, and frankly because I can and I want to (and if I don't Stephanie will be ever so disappointed), I'm going to do one of those "meme" things.

This is all about realizing stuff. And not just stuff, but stuff about specific things. Keep reading, you'll see how it works.

1. I've come to realize that my chest-size... is not what it used to be. My manboobs no longer brings the boys to the yard, and rent is getting harder to come up with every fortnight.

2. I've come to realize that my job...would be better if it was more IT stuff and less Accounting stuff. Whatever. It pays the bills.

3. I've come to realize that when I'm driving... I feel superior to everyone around me, and they should all get out of my way, stop doing stupid things and basically being annoying (as opposed to when I'm not driving, and my ego is obviously far more contained)

4. I've come to realize that I need... a llama.

5 I've come to realize that I've lost... my llama.

6. I've come to realize that I hate it when...TV stations don't ring me to personally inform me they are starting the new series of my favourite shows. Thank god I was able to catch up on Dexter on the Internet. (It was only one episode I missed.. whatever, now I'm caught up)

7. I've come to realize that if I'm drunk... I will becoming incredibly annoying and curse a lot. That's why I don't drink.

8. I've come to realize that money... comes and goes. Sometimes it stays awhile, but it'll go later.

9. I've come to realize that certain people...live next door to me, but most people don't. They live in other places.

10. I've come to realize that I'll always... be able to entertain myself.

11. I've come to realize that my sibling(s)... are better people than they were when I was 11.

12. I've come to realize that my mom... is a better person than she was when I was 15.

13. I've come to realize that my cell phone... needs a new message tone.

14. I've come to realize that when I woke up this morning...my right leg was sore so I haven't done any physical activity today.

15. I've come to realize that last night before I went to sleep... I promised myself I was going to go for a long walk to make up for the bad food I ate yesterday.

16. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking...My leg hurts. But I wasn't thinking about that before you bought it up. Before that I think I was thinking about witty answers to write to these questions. Obviously, I didn't come up with anything.

17. I've come to realize that my dad... works hard to show an interest in what I do.

18. I've come to realize that when I get on Facebook... my friends are not as stupid and funny as the people I will bring to you each and every Friday.

19. I've come to realize that today...I have done almost nothing. But I needed that.

20. I've come to realize that tonight...I will be watching episode two of series 4 of Dexter. On the TV this time, which has a bigger screen.

21. I've come to realize that tomorrow... is Monday. But it's my last full week of work before holidays.

22. I've come to realize that I really want to... sleep more.

23. I've come to realize that the person who is most likely to repost this is...Stephanie. Does that count or is hers a "prepost". Repost? I don't know.

24. I've come to realize that life... is good.

25. I've come to realize that this weekend...is almost over. Or do you want me to tell you about next weekend? No, because if you wanted to know about next weekend you'd have asked about next weekend right? Yep. Well this one's nearly over.

26. I've realized the best music to listen to when I am upset... is probably "Fade to Black" by Metallica. If you hear me cranking that, don't talk to me.

27. I've come to realize that my friends... yeah. Whatever happened to those guys? I should give them a call sometime soon.

28. I've come to realize that this year... I have changed a lot as a person, and I'm happy with all of the changes.

29. I've come to realize that my EX... box is a whole lot of fun. Spent a lot of time this weekend playing the Saw game. Awesome.

30. I've come to realize that maybe I should... get all the facts before opening my mouth. That is an excuse to tell you this story.
My brother started this new job and he's like "Did you have a XXXXXX in your level at school?"
"I had about three of them"
"I'm working with this one now and she says she knows you. *Enter his description of XXXXX here*"
"Nup, not ringing any bells"
"Her last name might be ........"
"Nup, don't know her. Obviously I had a far greater impact on her life than she did on mine"
"Don't get too cocky. She thought your name was Brad"

31. I've come to realize that love...for yourself is important. If you love yourself, it doesn't matter if nobody else loves you.

32. I've come to realize that I don't understand... people who seek out or are in relationships.

33. I've come to realize my past... contains a lot of valueable lessons.

34. I've come to realize that parties...are incredibly boring. Everyone's so loud and I can't hear the TV.

35. I've come to realize that I'm totally terrified... someone I know will find this blog.

36. I've come to realize that my life...didn't we already do this? Okay then I've come to realize that my life is fairly repetitive.

37. I have come to realize that I...am becoming a role model for my brothers. And someday, maybe a role model for the world.

That's all there is. I invite you all to give it a try, especially new people so that I can learn a little about you.

Oh, and to everyone who caught last week's post, I decided rather than subject everyone to my horrible singing voice (and, to those who suggested it, to my nakedness as well) I would email my family the song. None of the replied. None of them have mentioned it to me. I think they don't appreciate the lengths I went to.

Until Friday...

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Facebook Fail Friday #11 - Like it Like That

Hello ScoFans!

Wow, the weeks just fly by don't they? Especially for me who prepares the Facebook Fail Friday on a Thursday, so Friday really comes on Thursday for me. Plus Australia is like a day ahead of most of the rest of the world, so while I'm preparing it on Thursday you're living up your Wednesday so Wednesday is the real Friday for me.

Anyway, enough rambling. This week we pay tribute to those people who just don't know when to hold off on the "Like" button.

Okay, so I guess Joe did know what he was doing there. Also, it was Joe and Jo.. what a creepy couple. Anyway, I guess that's a bad example.

Yeah so Tom knew what he was doing as well. He's obviously some sort of horny teen. (A horny teen on Facebook.. has the world gone mad?) Another bad example. Let's hope this gets better soon (You know it will)

Yes! That's the stuff! Thank you Kaylee. I mean, what is wrong with this person? If you're going to be friends with someone, you don't "Like" it when they lose the house. Especially when they put a frowny face after it. That means them's sad.

And Lee.. what possible reason is there to like this? I'm guessing it's a girl.. Anthony can't be your ex or you'd probably be a little worried. Unless he's your ex from a long time ago.. but if you're hoping for someone to get aids, you might want to rethink having them as a Facebook friend.

Way to show support for your friend there Michael. I'm sure that's exactly what Mary needed from her Facebook peeps.

Well, that's all from me for another week. Enjoy your Thursdays, Fridays and your weekends.

Until next time.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

A song for AJ at Christmas

Hello ScoFans!

Well, the holiday season is quickly approaching and looking around the bloggosphere, it really is beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

So this week I thought I'd get in on the Christmas spirit.

But before I do, there is a bit of Christmas spirit happening for US Citizens over at "In Joy And Sorrow" You can win some desserty cakey type things that are apparently pretty good. I wouldn't know. Don't worry, you won't be competing against me because this whole competition reeks of discrimination against those of us unfortunate enough to not be in the US, but if you are in the US head on over and get a chance to win yourself some good food.

And, if like me you're not in the US, make yourself an awesome dessert out of chocolate and tears, crying to yourself saying "I don't need them anyway"

Anyway, back to what I was saying before I got interrupted by.. myself.

Of course this time of year, we're going to be seeing a lot more of our families. Especially the parts of the family we don't see very often. And I know, that having a two year old niece she is going to be the highlight of everyone's Christmas again this year. Because she's the first grandchild for my parents generation, she's the first child for my generation and of course the first great grandchild for my grandparents.

And that's why, as the first child of my generation, I thought I'd rewrite (I use the term rewrite loosely, I did keep a lot of the original lyrics because they couldn't be improved upon.. I guess "personalised" would be a more appropriate term then "rewrite".. yeah, let's try that and see how it goes), sorry, did I say rewrite? I meant I thought I'd personalise this song a little bit for the source of all of our joys this Christmas, one first born to another.

Let me know what you think..

Every night I lay awake
With sorrow in my chest
I think of AJ and wonder
Is she getting rest?
Does she know each second
She's only second best?

Tossing in her bed
What's she feeling? Dread?

I’m better
Better than Mil
In so many ways
I find it a thrill
Oh sure Mil is great
Best isn't her fate
'Cause I'm so unreal
I’m better

When I was getting HD's
She wasn't even born
Who's memorised the lyrics to
every Tool song?
Who fights their way to work through
a crowd in a throng?

Look at Mil cryin'
So bad she's tryin'

She makes Duplo towers
And everyone claps
I write awesome posts
No one applauds that
I’ve beaten GTA 3
What are the odds?

Now my ears are ringin'
‘Cause everyone's singin'

I’m better
Better than Mil
At so many things
It's hard to conceal
Oh sure she says "Pabaw"
"Pabaw's" not real
How dumb do you feel?
I'm better

Mil likes to play hide and seek
Well so do I niece
But I hide my body
You just hide your face
You hide behind your hands
My hidings ace

Now I've got your nose
But no blood on my clothes, yeah

People see me in the street
Can't believe that it's me
They know I would never need to
Play make believe
Except about the throng crowd
It's more of a sea

At least I'm not prone
To dancing alone

Look at her smallness
Compared to my tallness
My opening door-ness
My catching of ball-ness
The way I don't fall-ness
How I make phone call-ness
The way I'm so flaw-less
My just all in all-ness

My wonderful me-ness
My smile – My people can tell
That I'm awfully swell
While Mil has a weird smell
I’m just sayin oh well

I’m better
Better than Mil
At- where do I start?
Well first I don't squeal
We raced on the deck
And who beat the rest?
Can't help I'm the best
I’m better than Mil

Yeah Yeah Yeah
I’m better than Mil
Who's jumped on a moving
She plays with her toys
And again she squeals
When her toys I steal
I’m better than Mil

Do you think I should stand up at Christmas dinner and start singing? Oh, and if you want to hear and enjoy the original song so you can learn the tune and then sing along to this version, here it is..

Until Friday...

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Facebook Fail Friday #10- You Must've Been High

Hello ScoFans!

Wow, week 10 of Facebook Fails. 70 days ago a whole new way to finish the week was unleashed on the world, and here we go for another round.

Don't you people worry about what will happen if the powder gets in amongst the circuits and technical components? Obviously not.

That is one of my favourite Facebook pictures I've seen. I've been waiting for a chance to share it with you all for awhile now, that opportunity has finally arrived.

Of course it's always funnier is mum sees the photo.

Remember mums, you can learn a lot just by having your kids as a Facebook friend.

And you know I always like to go out with a bang. Leave you wanting more. Well this week is no exception.

Because one "Tell her you're sorry" is enough punishment for someone who tries date rape. After that, get them in bowling shoes and just hang out like nothing ever happened.

Until Sunday...

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Do I Dare?

Hello ScoFans!

Well, I was thinking about not writing a post this week. I'm not in a "writing zone" right now and all of the ideas I had scribble in my notepad (yes I do that), I knew if I tried them I wouldn't do them justice.

But like Captain Hammer says "When you're the best, you can't rest, what's the use?" and so I'm pressing on with a post, that, I think for the first time ever, is going to be focused on a movie.

Not just any movie, the first movie I've been excited about since "He Died With A Felafel In His Hand", which was released some 15 years ago and is the only Australian movie in my DVD collection.

So what is this movie I'm looking forward to?

Griff The Invisible

What's it about? Glad you asked (those of you who haven't gone "Yeah, okay pal, I'm not reading about some movie" and hit the big X at the top of the screen)

Actually before I tell you what it's about, on a comedy show here last week they had a game where they had to come up with titles for Australian vampire movies. My two personal favorites were "Hey True Blue Blood", and, one which I think speaks to the core of the typical Australian male.. "That Poofter Just Bit My Neck"

What was I talking about? Oh right. Griff.

See, the reason I went "off topic" there, is because there isn't really a lot of information about Griff at this stage (and so what I was doing is a little thing we in the biz call "padding". What biz? I don't know. But I am padding again. Seamless the way I manage to do that, isn't it?)

Okay, so Griff, from what I understand, is a superhero. I don't know what his powers might be, I bet some of you are thinking "Duh, invisibility", but I'm going to have to throw out a "I don't think so" on that one.

This is a quote from the star of the film..

“By day, Griff works in an office. By night, he is a superhero - or is he? It was this question that attracted me to the role. Griff is such an original and boundless character to play"

That question.. Is he a superhero? I think that may mean he is invisible in the sense that nobody would look at him twice, he's just another faceless office worker, rather than it referring to a power he has.

Or maybe I'm over analyzing.

Now, ladies, I know you are probably rolling your eyes because you've now read all this far and it turns out to be about some superhero, but don't worry. There's something there for you too.

“It is a super hero movie and it is a comedy, but at its core it’s a simple love story about two very unique individuals finding each other and giving the other the strength to be what they want to be,” said director Leon Ford from set

Aw.. isn't that sweet? A love story.

Still not into it girls? Well, there is going to of course be an Aussie actor playing Griff. Some of you might know him, from what I understand he's a bit of a big deal..

Yes, it's star of True Blood, Ryan Kwanten.

There, now I think there's something everybody will enjoy. A super hero story for the lads and a love story with Ryan Kwanten for the ladies.

And just an FYI, that's what all Australians look like with their shirts off. And not just the men either, the ladies as well.

(Sorry Alyssa, Sal, Catt and Jewels. And if there's another other Australian girls reading this, that either means I forgot about you, or that is what you look like with your shirt off)

So, do I dare get excited about another Australian movie? Our movies are usually pretty awful, but the last time I was excited about one I really enjoyed it.

Yes, I think I will look forward to the release of Griff as well.

With a release in mid to late 2010 though, it's going to be quite a wait.

Oh well, this arrives on Thursday, that should keep me entertained until then..

Until Friday...

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Facebook Fail Friday #9- Good onya Mum!

Hello ScoFans!

I thought I might Aussie up the title of this weeks post, because I am going to finish with a story from right here in Australia. A story on a Facebook Fail Friday? Oh yes, it's a first. Don't worry, it's entertaining (as opposed to my usual stories)

Anyway, this week I'm devoting to mothers. Some of you are mothers. Some of you even have mothers. And mothers are wonderful people.

Most mothers...

As a non smoker, 10 lighters seems like an awful lot. As a responsible citizen, 10 lighters is way too many for your kid to be playing with. Although you are having trouble with the word "know", so it wouldn't surprise me if your son is 23, a smoker, and is only now just counting to 10.

And I thought the lighters were dangerous...

We all know she's kidding. At least, we hope she's kidding.

I know mum's take photo's of some kids in some pretty strange situations and call it hilarious, but I think that crosses a line. In fact, it crosses a line, gets on a plane and continues flying away from the line.

And now for a Facebook related story (I'll highlight the best bits)

AN Adelaide man has been convicted of criminal defamation after posting material about a country police officer on social networking site Facebook.

Defamation experts believe the case, involving Christopher James Cross, 19, has set a legal precedent and should serve as a "wake-up call" for all Facebook users - which number more than six million in Australia.

Cross, of Salisbury, pleaded guilty last Monday in the Kadina Magistrates Court to criminal defamation - and became only the second person in SA ever convicted of the rarely used charge.

When the apprentice diesel mechanic was charged on August 27, his police bail conditions included a ban on him returning to his home town of Yorketown, on Yorke Peninsula.

The ban lapsed following his guilty plea on Monday and Cross returned home for the first time on Friday.

A sheepish Cross on Friday said he "didn't realise you could get in trouble for things on the internet".

"Other stupid stuff has been said towards other people and towards me, and nothing has ever happened. The fact it involved a police officer, that's where something happens," he said.

Kadina CIB detectives launched an investigation after one of Yorketown's two police officers, Senior Constable Mark Stuart, was alerted to material posted about him on a Facebook group, called "Piss off Mark Stuart".

When questioned by detectives, Cross admitted setting up the Facebook group targeting the officer.

On Monday, he appeared before Kadina Magistrate Derek Sprod and pleaded guilty.

He was convicted and placed on a two-year, $500 good behaviour bond. If Cross breaches the bond, he could face a jail term of up to three years.

The Facebook page created by Cross contained photographs of Sen Constable Stuart, the location of his house, and had many posts from visitors who had left incorrect, offensive and grossly defamatory statements about the officer.

Some encouraged acts of violence and aggression towards him.

The court heard Cross made full admissions to Kadina detectives when he was arrested. He admitted setting up the Facebook page because friends had complained to him about Sen Constable Stuart and that his actions were "stupid".

SA Police's Commercial and Electronic Crime Branch worked with detectives and had the Facebook page removed. It was active for about four to five days and had 43 entries when taken down.

Cross said when he established the page, he had "no idea" his actions were illegal and the comments on the page about Sen Constable Stuart were made "as a joke".

But he admitted that his mother, Catherine Goodwin, who lives in Yorketown, had told him he may "get in trouble".

"It wasn't until three or four days afterwards mum sort of said 'this is a defamation sort of thing and if he (Stuart) was to see this, you could get in trouble for it'," he said. When he told his mother he had been charged with criminal defamation she "pretty much said, 'I told you so'."

Asked if he would contemplate such action again, he said "no, of course not, no", but said he had no plans to apologise to the police officer.

Sen Constable Stuart, an officer for more than 18 years - the last five in Yorketown - yesterday said the episode had caused his family "considerable distress".

Sen Constable Stuart, who is not a Facebook user, said he was "astounded at the savage nature of many of the interactions". He said he was alerted to the page containing the offending material about him by colleagues who were contacted by community members. "I was angry," he said. "As a local police officer, I believe it is part of the territory that we have to take a little bit more than the average person.

"However, on this occasion it was quite a personal attack and it (the page) even had photographs of my children."

Sen Constable Stuart said he was "active" in policing road safety issues locally, which may have led to animosity from some locals - including some of Cross's associates.

"I have charged some with drink driving and have defected their cars and they don't like it," he said. "My answer to them (his critics) is if you are not happy about what I do, complain about it and have my activities scrutinised, and they will be.

"Or don't do the wrong thing in the first place. Have your car roadworthy, don't drink and drive, and don't behave like a moron at 2.30 in the morning when the pubs shut."

Sen Constable Stuart said while he accepted the personal attacks that often came with being a country officer, when combined with the 24-hour nature of the job, it meant his wife and two young sons also suffered.

"I accept all of those things, but this was one step too far," he said.


I think the moral of this post is, your mother may put you in the toilet, piss on you and let you stick firearms in your mouth, but she still knows best and you should always listen to her.

Another thing I personally take away from this story is, I guess I was lucky..

Until Sunday.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Trapped into new experiences

Hello ScoFans!

Well, my streak as the kiss of death continues and the person who was going to write this week isn't feeling the creativity flow at this point in time, so you'll have to wait a little bit longer for the end of the story. In the meantime I'll continue to entertain you as best I can.

As those of you following me on Twitter know, I had to attend a work function last night. One that I wasn't too keen on attending. I wasn't sure exactly what it was about. All I knew is, I had to show up in "After Five" wear and that the meal was free (which was enough to get me there)

I was, as always, one of the first to arrive (I don't do fashionably late) so I grabbed a coke and sat at my table and waited for my coworkers to arrive. After about 20 minutes as the table started to fill, I realised some of the coworkers I would have liked to share a table with were going to be on a different table which was a tad disappointing.

Before proceedings there were people running around taking pictures of everyone. One of my coworkers and I had to get our pictures taken about 6 times because we looked "too pale" in each picture. We agreed that was probably because we are pale, which is probably because we hate outside.

We looked at the entrees that were served to us and had trouble determining what most of it was (I did work out that the lemon was lemon, which makes me pretty awesome) I decided I wasn't eating any of it until my demands were met:
  • a list of ingredients in each item
  • a discussion with the chef to ensure their competency
  • our MasterChef judge Matthew Preston try everything and give me his evaluation of each thing on the menu
I'm not a picky eater.. but I'm not going to eat anything unless I know what it is I'm putting in my mouth (a lesson we could all learn from Mel's last blog)

My boss, who had organized the whole thing, stood up before dinner to tell us what we were all there for. He told us it was to be a discussion about how wonderful the "Baby Boomers" are. How much they have done for this country. How this country has been changed across the ages to accommodate them. First more primary schools when they reached primary school age. Then secondary schools being built as they reached that age. And now, to his horror, nursing homes being constructed at a rate faster than ever before.

He said he had lined up a group of speakers for us to help the baby boomers maintain their power and control, and keep Generation X in the background "where they belong"

He had a school principal who was going to give the speech "It's probably my fault"

A lawyer who specialises in succession planning who was going to read from us from his thesis "You can't take what you can't find"

And a Gen-X nurse who was going to talk up the benefit of kerosene baths.

Then, dinner was served. Dinner was nice but the veggies were a bit raw.

Somehow, dinner conversation turned to my coworkers trying to send me on holidays, preferably overseas. It's funny, mum has been saying the same thing to me lately. Maybe there's a message in that? Maybe my coworkers and family no longer welcome me? That's okay, it's not like people usually spent a lot of time around their coworkers and family anyway right?

First we were talking Middle East, because the V8s are racing there next year. That was my idea. Unfortunately, if I am going to take a holiday my input into any decision doesn't count for much. That idea was shot down and before I knew it I was being sent to London. I'm not sure why, other than because that's where one of my coworkers went when she was 19 and apparently I should be doing everything the way she did it.

She also told me about a car museum I have to go and see at Donnington (I think?). I could see cars in the Middle East too, and they would be driving, but hey.. whatever. Apparently "speaking English" should be high on my list of what to look for in the country I'm visiting on my first time overseas.

I kept insisting that I'm not a traveler and she said neither was her husband before she met him, but she soon sorted him out and showed him the world.

"Maybe that's what I need to start traveling. A significant other"
"Yes. Someone to drag you away from your comfort zone and give you some experiences"
"No. Someone to run away from because they make my comfort zone a lot less comfortable"

That joke was a big hit with the guys, not so much with their wives.

After dinner my boss stood up again and said he was going to now go to the "interactive" part of the evening. He asked everyone to pull their seats right in so that he could move around the room and point to people, and when he pointed they had to contribute.

People did this, and then he sat down.

And then the opera singers came down the stairs.

And I was trapped.. on the far side of the room from the exits.. about 70 people between me and the door.. my back to the wall literally and figuratively speaking. Plus I had just had roast beef so was feeling very sluggish and in no mood to try a speedy and cunning escape. In fact, I felt more like napping.

So I sat through it. It wasn't even one opera.. it was like Opera's Greatest Hits as selected by the boss. The highlight during the first session was when one of the girls was singing a romantic song and moving around the room rubbing against men, and she moved to our table and behind one of the other guys not into the opera at all and as he thought he was safe from her he said "Thank G.."

What he didn't realise is that she'd paused behind him and was looking at the back of his head. Her arm shot over his shoulder and started rubbing his chest while the rest of us enjoy a good laugh at his expense.

Desert rolled around and we got a break from the music. Conversation turned to a book one of the women was reading which says Australia is in a "man drought".. at the key ages women usually get married, there is a serious shortage of men in that same age bracket (hear that single guys? Having no luck, come to Australia and increase your odds!)

She convinced the single girl at our table to get out and meet new people, but then told me I still have to go to London. I'm not sure what she was implying, but I think it might be that English girls are easy.

How would I know? I never go anywhere. *Looks to Nic for input on the topic*

Who needs to go places when you have blog friends to fill you in on what's happening over there?

After desert, more singing and I guess the important thing to come out of the evening is that I survived it. Not only that, I kind of enjoyed it. I do remember promising a blogger going to see Moulin Rouge with them after Dexter did it in "Dexter By Design", and I guess this was like training wheels for something like that. I would have much rathered if they were singing Dr Horrible tunes (I did spend part of the night choreographing in my mind how one would set up different Dr Horrible scenes in the restaurant, but you make the best out of what you're given.

The evening ended with them singing happy birthday to the boss, which for him would be an amazing experience. The look of joy on his face through the whole evening was great.

Until Friday...

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Facebook Fail Friday #8 - In This Twilight

Hello ScoFans!

First of all, it's only just over a month away from Christmas. Five weeks from today in fact (oh wow! Christmas is a Friday. I'll have to try and get something special for that one.

Anyway, I just wanted to put a shout out to two Secret Santa things happening at the moment. One at TheCattPrezProject and one at ChinkyMel's corner. Head on over there and sign up, because the more people involved the more fun these things are (do as I say, not as I do)

But something that people don't have to wait for anymore is the new Twilight movie. Although I've never seen anything Twilight related, I am aware of its release because it has been plastered all over the news, all over Twitter and of course... all over Facebook.

And so this week, in the first ever Facebook Fail Friday dedicated to a movie, I give you the BEST Twilight related Facebook Fails.

Yeah.. Andrew... I'm pretty sure that falls under the category of "Not helping". But it's funny for the rest of us.

With this stuff being everywhere, even for someone as ignorant of modern culture as I am, it's hard not to know who Edward and Bella are. And it's hard not to laugh at that. Sandra got pwned.

Just by show of hands.. who's pretty sure it was the guy from Twilight?

It's no secret that I'm hardly a poster boy for testosterone, but I've gotta go with Todd on this one. If it were my choice we'd be wearing thongs and watching Saw. (Oh wait, for most of you thongs AREN'T footwear. Well in Australia.. oh to hell with it. Think what you want to think)

I'd just like to say... best.. prank... EVER. Marc gets a million points.

Until next time...