Welcome everybody to my commentary

I've got so much talent, it's a little scary

Is my every random thought insightful? Very

Not just entertaining- I'm a luminary

Neil Patrick Harris- Commentary! The Musical

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

TOONDay#2 - Self Portrait

Hello ScoFans!

After my last TOONDay, someone asked if the ScoBorg was a self portrait. Well, it was a self portrait when I first started drawing that character a few years ago, but times have changed, so I give you the updated self portrait...

Yes, I drew it during one of the sessions at the conference. I think it was "How To Successfully Move To Up Front Pricing and Fixed Price Agreements".. yes, it was as fun as it sounds.

Judging by the notes I drew that in the "Accounting Industry Technology Update" That's obviously ScoBorg on the right and I'm not sure what the other one is yet. It appears to be a robot scarecrow of some description. Maybe I'll used it someday.

Feel free to check out some of the websites. I haven't yet.

I better go. I told a coworker I'd watch a bunch of semi intelligent British people cracking jokes and arguing.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Return of The Sco

"So, I'm back up in the game, running things like half my swing
Lettin' all the people know that I'm back to run the show"
Return of the Mack - Mark Morrison

Hello ScoFans!

It's no secret that I'm back. I've been tweeting and commenting on your blogs for about a week now, but this is the first moment I've had the time to sit and write a post.

So where did I go?

Well, for those of you who I haven't caught up, I went to Canberra, which is kind of like Australia's Washington. It's where all our Pollie's hang out (in theory, they're usually flying around the globe though)

And for those of you who don't speak Strayan, "Pollie" is "politican". And Strayan is "Australian"

From Sunday through to Wednesday I had a conference to attend, and because I'd never been to Canberra before I decided to stay until Sunday and see what it had to offer.

Today I'll cover the Sunday to Wednesday bit, and at a later time I'll cover the rest (the second post will feature pictures. I didn't think any of you would be interested in pictures of a room full of sleeping people, so there are no pictures from the conference)

On the Sunday we had to go to the conference center and register, and then out to the Australian Institute of Sport where they had free drinks.. but no food. Or there was food, but no meals. Just finger food type stuff.

Anyway, as an "Ice Breaker"(and I thought this was a great ice breaker) they gave everyone half of an athlete. If you could find the person who had the other half, you won a prize (a crappy bottle opener - I don't think many people claimed their prize after we all found out what they were)

I had Usain Bolt's top half, and when I found the girl with his legs there was some debate as to who was "The better half"

I said I had his brain, his lungs and his heart, without them he couldn't live.

She said she had his legs. Without them nobody would even know who he was.

I still think I was right, so if I refer to her again I'll refer to her as "SNTBH" (So Not The Better Half)

While I'm doing that -
OOH - Other Office Head
OOP - Other Office Partner
TEG- The English Guy
TIL - The Illustrious Leader
SIC - Second In Charge
TWW - The Work Wife
SCO - Me

Later that night the head of the company that put on the conference came around introducing himself. OOH and TIL had met him many times before (briefly, he wouldn't remember them, as you'll see if he did he wouldn't have come over)
OOH - I'd just like you to know Barry that I'm the President of your fan club.
Barry- I didn't know I had a fan club, that's nice to know. Thank you.
OOH - Well it's a very small group, but we always say nice things about you.
TIL - Except for when we don't.
Barry- Okay, I better keep going. Have a good night!

OOH and TIL went to university together, and when they're around each other they still get up to their university tricks.

Like on the Tuesday night, our last night together before most of them went home, we were at dinner and we got a Greek waiter. The poor guy didn't have much of a grasp on the English language, and obviously didn't know his classic movie trivia.

OOH and TIL kept asking him questions about things that they didn't want. They'd ask if a meal came with this that or the other and he'd always just respond "I think it does have that, but I can check if you like" and they'd respond "No it's okay, I didn't want it anyway"

What makes me think he doesn't know his classic movie trivia?

When my boss asked if they had any Soylent Green he said "Yeah I think we have that"

If I hadn't already ordered the fish, then I would have asked for the Soylent Green.

What? I'm curious.

Speaking of the fish, just after I had finished lemonising mine (and I use a LOT of lemon on my fish.. like the fish is drowning in it.. wait, no, fish don't drown) WW decided I hadn't had enough so threw her lemon at me, and it landed on my fish.

She CLAIMS it slipped from her hands while she was lemonising her own fish, but there are no witnesses, and I like to believe everyone is out to get me, so I'm sticking with she threw it.

We also had a few plates of chips on the table that we passed around and put on our own plates. This happened.
OOH: Don't be scared to take the last one Sco.
SCO: Don't worry, I won't take the last one.
*Sco takes all the chips except one*
OOH: If you're ever looking for a job in Melbourne, don't come to me.

Then later, there was an argument about what sort of desert had been served with lunch that day.
OOH: What did you think Sco?
SCO: What was it TIL?
TIL: Coffee
SCO: It was definitely coffee.
OOH: You suck up. I could always have someone else around kissing my ass, you can apply for a job at my office after all.

Some of the speakers of note at the conference were:
Dr Ken Henry- currently doing a review into Australia's tax system (okay, I was excited)
John Brogden- Former opposition leader of New South Wales
Ian Kiernan- Creator of "Clean up Australia day"
Peter FitzSimons- Former Rugby player, now commentator and author.

I won't bore you with details of any of their talks. I was just name dropping.

And that's the end of that chapter.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

So long, suckers!

I'm going away for a week.

See ya!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Friday's Failures #21 - Unnamed Reunion Guy

Hello ScoFans!

First of all, did you know I had been interviewed by Cher this week? Some of you did, because you came here from there, but for those of you who didn't, head over now and learn more about me.

And read about her Oscar party while you're there as well. She knows how to have a good time.

And while I'm plugging, thank you to Mel for coming up with the name "ScoBorg" for my Cyborg character. I wasn't really planning on drawing more Cyborgs in the future, but with a name like that landing at my feet, I think I have to.

This week's failure is some guy I don't know. Some guy I have never met. But I still defended him the best I could.

Here's how it happened..

One of my coworkers went to a reunion of sorts last weekend. What with Facebook and everything, a group started of people who went to a certain school in a certain year and someone suggested they all get together. And then they did.

Fast forward to the Tuesday after the reunion and my coworker was telling me about the night, saying it was a lot of fun but some people were going too far saying things like "We should do that every month" or "Let's do it again next weekend" or, from today's failure "That was the best night of my life"

My coworker laughed at this and said "Sure, it was great, but best night of my life?"

I pointed out to her that she doesn't know. Maybe he spends his nights looking through his Year Book thinking about days gone by. Maybe he sits alone in the dark and stares into the nothingness. She's married a guy who rides motor bikes, her life is exciting, but we know nothing about this guy. Maybe it genuinely was the best night of his life.

I do know this though, if my school ever holds a reunion of some kind I'm not going. If I wanted to keep in touch with any of them then I would be.

Anyway, I better go now. I have to get back to parachuting out of that bloody helicopter.

Monday, March 8, 2010

TOONday #1 - 10 Years From Now

Hello ScoFans!

I've been thinking about bringing my cartoon days back from the dead. I had to kill them off when they got more MySpace friends than I did, but I'm not a jealous person, I don't hold a grudge, so 4 years later I'm now willing to look past that.

My drawing may not be as awesome as Ed's Stickman, I mean, his is animated and all where as I like to think of mine as more like a comic strip (which means he draws heaps of frames for the guy to take one step, whereas I draw a few cells and call it a day), but nonetheless, I feel that I need to get these weird looking blobs out of my system (and the bran wasn't working)

So when B-Dub tagged me to do a thing about where I'll be 10 years from now, I thought this sound like a great drawing project.. primary school style. Enjoy.

I won't tag anyone in particular, but if you want to play along head over to Alissa's as she has turned this tag thing into a project of sorts and sharing all the links over at her blog.

Anyway I should go now because my nose is getting cold so I'm going to hop in bed. I don't know how that will make my nose warmer unless I sleep with the pillow over my face, but I've read that's pretty dangerous.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

We Started this Op'ra Shit

Hello ScoFans!

Thank you to all the February Stars who covered for me last month. They all did a great job and I hope you've been to check out their blogs.

What happened to me in the last month?

Not too much. I lost my Xbox, but now it's back.

I've started watching 30 Rock DVDs because the network here kept putting in on at like midnight.

Oh, and I was asked to be part of the Upper East Goulburn.. something.. opera.. something.. committee. Which I accepted, as I had just the weekend before watched a DVD I got from the bargain bin.. on.. a website (do they have those on websites? It was like.. $10 anyway.. if it was in a shop, it would be in the bargain bin).. which was an opera DVD otherwise me telling you about it wouldn't have much much sense.

And I had downloaded the soundtrack as well. iTunes doesn't have a bargain bin that I'm aware of.

Perhaps I've fallen in love with the movie a little bit.

So when I was asked "Do you want to join the committee because it's a not for profit organisation which by law means we have to have five members, and if three of them work in this office then I can get things done without having to walk out the front door?", what I heard was "We want you to join this opera committee because we think your grand vision could make Repo in this small town a reality, and because we're not for profit nobody cares if you lose money on it" (except perhaps the charity we're meant to be raising funds for, but they won't miss what they never had. Is it possible to bill a charity if you lose funds on project you're carrying out for them? We'll see)

As soon as I saw this trailer, I knew I had to see the movie..

My brother thought it was the words "An Instant Cult Classic" that made me want to see it, but it was way before that. More like "From the producers of Saw".. an opera by the producers of Saw sounds like my kind of opera. (Sidenote- the first song used in the trailer is the "We Started this Op'ra Shit" song)

It was certainly not the words "Paris Hilton" that made me want to see it. Though her role is minor, and she plays the part of "spoiled heiress" very well.

A few weeks ago on Facebook I did a quiz thing. It asked which five characters I wished were real people so I could hang out with them.

They were:

Dexter (of course)
Sheldon Cooper
Spencer Reid
Liz Lemon
and, from the movie Repo, Pavi Largo

Every time he opens his mouth I laugh, and his first line in the movie is the best first line in any movie ever.

It's like, 30 seconds into this clip, check it out.. you really should..

That was the only one that allowed embedding, so I too am sorry for the crap quality (which only makes sense if you went to the YouTube site and saw they were sorry for the crap quality)

Anyway, I think when I make my version of it, I'll be playing Pavi.

And Paris definetely won't be playing my sister. My sister will be played by the person who played Amber in the short film..

I'm pretty sure she doesn't always look like that.

Before I go, remember this most awesome Tweet of all time?

Well the song I stole that from is actually in this movie. And here it is..

If you listen, on the soundtrack it's like this..

Cos it's quick, and it's clean, and it's pure
(And you really need it)
It could change your life, rest assured
(And you've got to have it)

But in the movie, it's

Coz it's quick, and it's clean, and it's pure
(No, I shouldn't be here)
It could change your life, rest assured
(I've got to get home)
It's the 21st Century, cure
(This can not be happening)

Obviously, the movie version is the less flattering version.

Anyway, because I learned watching 30 Rock that Holland is the only country with a national dog, I'm off to do something about that.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Friday Failures #20- Sonic Fans & Domino's Pizza

Hello ScoFans!

I decided to mix up this Friday thing. There's only so long you can laugh at peoples typo's right?

So I am now going to look for strange news stories or stories from my life to make fun of (but occasionally we might go classic Facebook style)

Perhaps I should be the first Friday Failure though because I forgot to mention if people still want to contribute to the Drunken Blogger, they can just leave a comment in the comment section of that post with their contribution (see convenient link on right of page)


The first story of our new Friday Failures section relates to our friend Sonic here.

For those of you who don't know, which I'm assuming is none of you, Sonic 4 is shortly going to be released by Sega (You all knew that, right?). This was supposed to be a triumphant return of sorts for Sonic to the gaming world, but it has made some of the fans of the original games pretty upset.

They're upset because they thing this new game, from the video's they've seen, doesn't measure up to "Classic Sonic". And they're letting Sega know just how upset they are.

They're so upset that they've decided to start a petition.

They're so upset that they're going to boycott Sonic 4.

They're so upset that they're going to give Sega free money.

Wait.. what?

Yes, these fans haven't quite worked out how a boycott works. Instead of buying Sonic 4, they are instead going to go out and by the original Sonic on the day Sonic 4 is released.

If they're the hardcore Sonic fans they make themselves out to be, chances are they already own this game and as many people have already pointed out, the only thing they're really accomplishing is giving Sega money.

I'm sure Sega don't really care. Money is money right? No matter where it comes from or what circumstances it was received under.

Secondly, Domino's Pizza.

I know a lot of people aren't fans of Domino's (I'm guessing from American sitcoms), but this isn't about how bad their pizza tastes. If you have 30 seconds, take a look at this..

Okay, I know what you're thinking. There was a report this week that said that 75% of Australians are either obese or overweight (Cop that America. Now who's the fat bastards?) so Domino's wanting people to eat healthy should be a good thing, right?

Well, a coworker of mine went into Domino's this week and requested one of these pizzas but asked for no cheese because they're allergic to dairy.

The person behind the counter looked at her confused, went and got the manager, and the manager came out and said "I'm sorry, we can't do that because you might sue us"

The manager explained that because the commercial says the pizza's are 389 calories, everything in them is measured extremely carefully and none of the ingredients are allowed to be varied, even if it will reduce the calories.

To think this whole problem could have been avoided if they'd said "Less than 390 calories"

Who works in the Domino's marketing department anyway?

I was going to say that they might lose sales because of this.. but they won't. My coworker figured as long as she was there she would order one of the greasy unhealthy pizzas if that's what it took to get no cheese.

If I've upset anyone today so much that they want to send me money, just leave your PayPal details in the comment section below along with how much you want to send me, and I'll send you an invoice shortly.