Welcome everybody to my commentary

I've got so much talent, it's a little scary

Is my every random thought insightful? Very

Not just entertaining- I'm a luminary

Neil Patrick Harris- Commentary! The Musical

Sunday, April 26, 2009

It is the best policy...

Hello ScoFans!

Right now, with all the fuss about some blogger that a lot of people knew, trusted, followed and respected being found out plagiarising (you didn't hear? Well read about it here and here.. I won't go into details because I don't know anything about it other than what is in these two posts), I think to be seen to be honest in this bloggosphere is more important than ever.

Well, I'm going to start with a little honesty. I know I said last time I was going to put the awards / tagging thing on hold for awhile, but I can't find the motivation or inspiration to put my ideas into words at the moment. I still have plenty of ideas for future blogs, but when I start writing I look at what I've typed and think "That's rubbish! Absoloute bollocks! My readers surely will not stand for this sliding from the pedestal they have put me on!" (Why does my pedestal have a slide? I don't know. You built it and put me there)

But until I get past this wall, I'll continue to catch up on tags and awards. At least with them half the work is done for you. Plus if I keep writing eventually my creativity will come back.. right?

Continuing with the theme of honesty, my peep the girl in the stiletto shuffled the "Honest Scrap" award a few weeks ago.

"The HonestScrap award comes with a caveat or two. Firstly, you have to tell your readers ten things about you they may not know, but that are true. Secondly, you have to tag 10 people with the award."

10 things.. let's do some of my injuries and near death experiences...

  • When I was about ten my family was having KFC one night, when I started to choke on a chicken bone. It took awhile for anyone to work out I wasn't goofing around, and when they did mum ran to the phone to call the ambulance. As soon as the person at the other end picked up I swallowed the bone. I really thought I would die then and there. My brothers wouldn't eat the rest of their meals after that, so dad and I finished it for them.
  • When I was about twelve we were riding around on my cousins motorcycles, and as time went by the confidence built. I went over one of their jumps and just kept going, ending up clotheslining myself on the barbedwire fence which cut the skin around my neck. My brothers didn't come over to see my injury, they ran back to the house to stir my parents into a panic while my uncle came over to help me up. We both had a good laugh about it.
  • Once in high school when we were playing soccer, I decided to play "chicken" with one of the big Samoan boys. It did not end well for me. He laughed and helped me up and said "I don't know what you were thinking man" and when I tried to reply no sound came out. I was pretty badly winded.
  • As young boys do I was climbing a tree in the front yard when I was about five years old and decided to climb higher than I had ever climbed before (there seems to be a theme in some of these injuries.. dangerous activity combined with a little bit of confidence). A branch gave way and I was in a sling for a few weeks.
  • Again, playing chicken, my friend was pulling out from beside the road and me and a group of friends were standing in front of him. He started revving the car and my friends ran out of the way, I moved a little bit knowing that if he turned the wheel he could comfortably go around me and merge back onto the road. He kept revving, and I stood my ground. He floored it, and I didn't move. I managed to get my timing right to jump onto the bonnet of his car just as it went under me. I bruised my pinky.
  • When playing cricket at a junior level on an awful rubber pitch, one of my teammates threw the ball at the wickets and missed and I was backing up on the other side. The ball hit the pitch and skidded up, knocking me silly. I ended up with a huge bruise on my forehead for the rest of the day, but come Monday when he wanted to show everyone at school what he had done, the bruise was mostly faded.
  • Playing the silly games boys play, I pushed my friends head into the brick wall when he was drinking from a water fountain one day and bolted back to my locker. I don't know why I thought I was safe there, he arrived just behind me and pushed me head first into the locker cutting my forehead open. I got to go home early that day. And I have a scar from this.
  • On the same foot as the scar I showed you in the past, the middle toe often goes numb and stings a little bit. When my parents were renovating their kitchen they had ripped the pantry out and one day the dog was standing behind my dad who turned around and almost tripped over her. She ran across the kitchen and into the line I was walking and I went around her and shredded my toe on exposed nails.
  • I also have a scar on my finger. Right now, I can't remember how I got that.
  • My "old sports injury" That's all I ever refer to it as, and you are going to be among the few people in the world who now know what that means. When I was playing totem tennis at a friends house I started to jump around and get a little crazy and over the top. The ground was rough and uneven, and eventually I ended up landing funny and going down hard. I went to the doctor who had a look and gave me some anti-inflamatories and told me if that doesn't work within a month, go back and they'd have to operate on it. That was about 7 years ago now, and to this day it still feels weird, but I've never gone back. (This is the knee of the leg with the above mentioned foot)

With all the things I do to myself, it's not surprising one of the girls I work with keeps telling me she doesn't know how I've lived this long.

I might not award 10 people. I'll just start awarding and see how far we get. I'm going to award it to people who I think are raw and honest in their work. (and who I'm pretty sure don't have the award already).




Insomniac Lolita



There are others who deserve it, but I have tagged them recently and don't want to overload them with this stuff. If you don't mind copping another one however, let me know and I'll edit the post and throw your name on there.

I also got an award from D* recently which looks a little something like this.

This one didn't come with any rules or requirement to pass it on. It just came with bragging rights.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Tagged! v 4.2

Hello ScoFans!

I'm still catching up on these tagged things. I'll get through them all eventually!

Today's tagging comes from ChinkyMel's corner and happened on the 11th of April. I hadn't forgotten though! And here's what I have to do today.

1. Mention the person who nominated you. (done! How efficient am I?!)
2. List 6 unimportant things that make you happy.
3. Tag 6 blogs, state the rules, and notify them with a teeny comment on their blog.

Okay, so 6 unimportant things that make me happy...

1. Even numbers! The volume on the TV, the volume on the CD player.. it all has to be even numbers! Once after I broke a cup I threw out a second one just so I had 4 left instead of 5. Five cups in the cupboard just wouldn't happen in my world (unless I owned 6 and one was in use)

2. Walking. People walk every day. From the bed to the bathroom. From the bathroom to the living room. From the living room to the kitchen. Why is walking so important? I don't know. But I walk over an hour a day most days. I think I just love to get the iPod cranking and get out there.

3. Post it notes. I know, very cliche for someone who works in an office to enjoy a good post it note, but those little yellow squares of paper make my life so much easier. I can throw jobs all over the floor with those notes on them informing me where the file was up to so I don't have to rely on my memory.

4. Tax. Tax is what I do, and I like to do it well. I look at my boss and how he can remember a case that happened in 1962 and wonder if I'll ever be able to retain that sort of information like he can. If I learn a trivial little thing about the tax system and it sticks with me, I'm happy.

5. My Vault Boy bobblehead. He has been my face on the bloggosphere for 92 posts now. If not for the bobblehead, I might not have lured any of you here.

6. This picture...

I told you Random Hiccups, the ninjas were coming!

So now, instead of tagging six people, I will "invite" six bloggers to share six unimportant things that make them happy. I'm going to pick six blogs I started following recently, to learn more about the bloggers behind the blogs.

So, the girl in the stiletto, dirty messy beauty, rambles, Sarahahaha!! and Daisy the (get ready for an unfortunate abbreviation I have discovered.. sorry Daisy =p) VAG in A (which stands for Very American Girl in Australia)(should I really have had my tongue out that close to "vagina"? I don't know. Probably not.)

What? That was only five? Well, I invite anyone else who wants to do this one as well.

For those of you playing at home, I believe it is now "vagina" tagged twice, and "dead penis" tagged once.

Anyway, I still have a tag to catch up on. And an award. But I might put them on hold again next time. I mean, I'm sure you want to hear about what I've been up to, right? Do you want to hear about my very romantic proposal? (Could I be engaged? Wouldn't you like to know that?) Would you like to hear about the funny story from work last week? Of course you would.

So, vote on this weeks poll, and I will reward you with one of those tales (the most popular one requested in the comment box. The other one will come later anyway)

By the way, as mentioned earlier this is my 92nd post. I know, right? Anyway, I have something spectacular planned for post 100. Something that will make every other 100th post look like a n00bs first post (sorry to anyone who has done their 100th post.. but you'll see what I mean)

I will also ask you all in my 99th post to pick your favourite entries of mine, and the top five will earn a permanent link somewhere over there ==> and from the 95th post on I'll link back to older posts people may have missed. If anyone has a favourite post that happened awhile ago they'd like me to link back to, I'd appreciate the suggestions =D

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Tagged! v 5.0

Hello ScoFans!

It's been awhile, but I've been tagged again. A few times actually, I really need to blog more often so that I can keep up with these things.

Well, as I'm sure you all know, I ooze style and flair.. what? You didn't know that? Well.. did you ove.. no? You didn't either? Did anybody know that?..... No. Okay. I thought I made that clear that time I.. I didn't? Hmm.. this is awkward. Let's move along than shall we?

Sarahahaha!! tagged me because she wanted to know my interior design style.

After looking up what "interior design" means on Wikipedia, I quickly set about the task, searching through the images provided by Google, and I think this is the design I really like.. (I believe it's a style referred to as "minimalist")

Sure it's nothing like the place I live in now. It's probably nothing like any place I will ever live in. But I think I could be really comfortable there. The thing I think that won me over with that one is the cosy little reading area.

However, Stephanie had other ideas for what my perfect home might contain. She might just know me better than I know myself. Or at least she's far wittier than I.

So that has inspired a poll. Let's see which one YOU think suits me more.

And before I leave you today, but special request I have another story from the Comedy Festival. This is one you can all use if you want to scare your children away from sex or drugs.

Again, this one comes from Adam Hills who was telling us something he learned during a gig in Scotland. There was a woman near the front of the audience who worked for the morgue or the police or somebody, and had to determine cause of death for whoever it is she worked for.

Adam asked the question "You must have seen some pretty disgusting things in your time. Why don't you tell us the one that really sticks in your mind?" (That is the warning for anyone with a weak stomach to quietly excuse themselves)

This is her story...

She went to a home at the request of her department to try and work out the cause of death of a young couple. It didn't take long for them to work out what had killed the young man.

He was a junkie. Years of drug abuse and injections had left most of his veins pretty much shot, so he had one day, decided to inject heroin into a vein in his penis. His penis didn't like that so much, it became infected. Over a period of days, it blackened, it withered up and it died. And then, so did he.

Mystery one solved. But what of the junkie's girlfriend?

She had stopped taking drugs quite some time earlier. There were no track marks on her. The poison that got him had not got her.

Or had it?

It wasn't until they searched her stomach contents and found the tip of her partners dead penis, that they realised the infection had got her as well.

There you go Hillbilly Duhn! One story to scare the kids straight!

Oh, and I think I was supposed to tag some people to do the interior design thing as well, so I'll throw down a few people I think will have fun with it but leave it open to anyone who wants to give it a shot.
Hillbilly Duhn
Random Hiccups

Friday, April 17, 2009

Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2009 - The shows

Hello ScoFans!

Sorry the last post was sort of long.. and rambling. I hadn't blogged in a week and I think I got a big over excited (you should see the stuff I deleted to bring it down to what it was) Anyway, tonight I'm tired and lacking motivation, so it shouldn't be so bad.

Anyway, some highlights from the shows themselves:

Jeff Green
Poor Jeff. The audience wasn't in it that night. He kept asking us questions, and getting nothing back. But he was asking us about boating, and gardening, so what were we to do?

At the very end of the show, he started telling us about a show he'd done recently. He mentioned the name of the town "Guildford", and got his first heckle of the night. "Guildford's shit!" called out somebody from the other side of the room. That was funny to me not only because one of the only two Australian serial killers to receive life imprisonment, Ivan Milat, was born in Guildford, but also because I know somebody from there.

Jeff just reacted by going "I'm sorry, is there somebody out there? The first time I get anything from you all night and it's five minutes before the end. Did you just walk in here tonight thinking "I hope he mentions Guildford so I can tell him it's shit" Perhaps that's how I should have started the show. "Hello ladies and gentlemen.. Guildford!"

Dylan Moran
Anyone who has seen Black Books will know that Dylan Moran can go on an angry rant with the best of them. And he did that many times through his show.

The part of his show I'm going to share with you, I have chosen because it really spoke to me.. and reaffirmed my lifestyle choice.

"We have to make a lot of decisions in our life and we have to make them from a very young age. One of the most important decisions that we have to make when we're young is whether we're going to seek out a parter or choose to go it alone- which is basically a choice between being sane or not lonely"

Adam Hills
Adam did a show where he incorporated his make believe son into the show. He talked about how, as a stand up comedian he once felt he wouldn't have much to offer as a father. Then he realised he had learnt a lot of important lessons through his work and the travel he has been able to do and the people he has been able to meet.

I'm going to leave you with the same message he delivered to his son as he was finishing up the show.

"In life, you can either be an inflater or a deflater. And you can tell when you've inflated someone, because they go like this *puffs chest out and smiles* And you can tell when you've deflated someone, because they go like this *slumps shoulders and frowns*
And I think, perhaps, that if you can go through life and inflate as many people as possible, maybe when you're gone, that will be the indication of your lifes worth"
"Wow dad, did you ever tell and audience that?"
"No, I wouldn't have the guts. That's why I invented you"

Monday, April 13, 2009

Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2009 - The experience

Hello ScoFans!

As some of you may have noticed by the fact I have been catching up and commenting on on all the bloggy action I missed while I was away, I am now back. And I am happy to be back. I'm not just saying that, I mean that.. really. Because I haven't been here. I've been somewhere else. I don't know, maybe you've been somewhere else too.. so maybe you know what I mean.

Okay, I stole most of that from Dylan Moran's intro. We saw him on the Saturday night. And don't worry, I'm not going to do a "recite every joke I heard while I was there" thing, because that would be boring. No, I'll just tell you about my experience today and next time a brief summary of each of the shows.

This was I believe the fifth year running I've gone to the comedy festival, which I think makes me a vetran of sorts. By now I'm fairly familiar with how the whole scene operates.

But this post is just about this years experience.

My friend got here on Friday at about lunch time and we mooched about for a few hours before heading down to the city. Both being from the country, we didn't really know our way around the city, and it's a good thing we arrived with a bit of time up our sleeve.

We parked at the Crown Casino and headed off on foot to the first show (Jeff Green). We reached a certain point, he said the Town Hall was one way and I said it was another. Eventually, I wore him down and he agreed to follow me. I was wrong. But I did find the location of where our second show was, so we knew which way to go after the first show finished. At least that time wandering aimlessly wasn't completely wasted.

When we did find the first show, we were still early so we were sitting in the theatre waiting for the show to begin. I forget how we got to talking about the seat in front of me bursting into flames and me being trapped, but somehow we did get to that topic. Our conversation went a little bit like this (picking it up from half way through the conversation).

Me: I don't think a seat would just randomly catch on fire for no reason anyway. Surely it would need a flame or a spark or some electrical equipment nearby for that to happen, and there's none of that anywhere near the seat.
Him: I don't know. I think it's still possible for a seat to catch on fire for no reason.
Me: Well even if it was, I think there's a .00001% chance that there will be a fire in the theatre tonight, and of that .00001%, a .000000001% chance that fire will occur on the seat in front of me.
Him: Yeah you're probably right.
Me: What did I just go to then? One in a trillion? One in ten trillion?
Him: What did you say again? 4 zeroes and then 8 zeroes?
Me: I think it was about that yeah.
Him: I think it's more then ten trillion then. I don't know, you're the accountant you work it out.
Me: It's my day off. I don't do numbers on public holidays.
Him: It doesn't matter now anyway. The people next to you have moved away, so you can exit that way if the seat catches on fire.
Me: Of course they've moved away. They heard you say I'm an accountant and thought "Oh crap we better move or this guy is going to start talking to us about salary sacrificing and retirement savings accounts"
Him: Yeah, now that you mention it I might move away as well. I don't want some boring person ruining my night either.

Those are the sorts of random topics we discussed. Who needs comedians when you make your own fun?

Anyway, one thing we forgot is that we don't exit through the door we entered, because the audience for the next show is gathering there. Instead we are dragged through the bowels of the building so that our navigation systems are completely turned around, and then turfed out onto the street, not sure which way to begin towards the place we had earlier found and asking that all too familiar question... "Where the fuck are we?"

We didn't have so much trouble finding the next show though.. because we were able to locate the McDonalds we ate at after going to this theatre last year and work our way back from there (when all else fails, find a McDonalds)

The second show (Adam Hills) was fantastic. At the start he pulled four Perth boys up onto the stage and made them into a boy band, by giving them boy band poses and things to do. Then he was talking to a girl up in the second tier who was also from Perth and he was like "Where can we find some young, single Perth boys? I know! And they have a spare seat next to them! Do you want to come down here?" and she's like "Nah, I'm good".. poor fellas.

He also performed his rocked up version of "Advance Australia Fair" which I have already posted once before, way back here.

Saturday night was proof that even a vetran like myself can make a mistake. My vetran instincts did tell me to be careful, the first time I was able to correct the situation but the second time it was too late.

Firstly, we drove towards Crown again to ditch the car, but I was worried because my beloved Bombers were playing the top of the ladder undefeated Carlton just down the road from Crown, with the game starting about half an hour before our show. (For the record, I was going to play another one of our games but was worried I would be accused of rigging the thing by putting it all on Essendon to knock off an undefeated team.. and they did.)

Anyway, traffic around Crown was disasterous. It took us about 20 minutes to navigate our way up the tiny little street before the car park, and then when we turned the corner the queue for the car park was incredibly long. I was able to turn the car around and high tail it out of there and find a park closer to the Arts Centre.

Then we walked into the wrong building and were told how to get to the right hall, so we started following some young couple who were also going to see Dylan. When we saw them turn around looking bewildered, we realised we had backed the wrong pony and perhaps they weren't going to get us to where we needed to go.. so we started following some people who did know where to go and told the couple to come with us but the guy was like "Yeah whatever" and walked off in the other direction. He was so sure he knew where he was going.

The second time we went wrong hit me as I sat down in this lovely venue and it's comfortable seats. Normally comedy fesitval shows go for about an hour each, so you can book a few on one night as long as you leave an hour and a half or so in between them. But normally the seats aren't so comfortable. And Dylan Moran's tickets were almost twice as expensive as anybody elses.

I thought to myself.. "I bet this is going to go for two hours, leaving the tickets we have to see Otis Crenshaw at 9:45 to be pretty useless"

And I was right, but being the eternal optimist I didn't see it as a case of missing out on a show. I saw it as a case of scoring an extra hour of Dylan Moran, who is the one I was really looking forward to seeing this year anyway.

Well my pets, I think I have rambled on quite long enough for today, so I shan't keep you here any longer. Next time, as I said earlier, I have a few specific things from each of the shows I would like to share with you.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

A Hillbilly in the Holler Hole (Part III)

Do you remember a few posts ago when I gave you the chance to be a guest blogger here? Well, Hillbilly Duhn, who was able to intrigue the psychopath in me, is today's guest blogger.

Hers is one of the first blogs I remember reading when I was new to this bloggosphere and wasn't really sure where I was heading, and I have enjoyed each post she has written since then.

She is currently whirlwinding from blog to blog in a little project I'll let her explain to you and this is the third instalment of the series. I think this project is a fine example of her creativity and I am glad to be able to share it with all of you.

(Slightly off topic, when you follow through to the second instalment on "Slave to the Ordinary" below, stick around and read a few of her posts. It is another of the first blogs I read and another that has bought me much laughter)

Ladies and gentlemen, I will now hand you over to Hillbilly Duhn...

Out in the woods one day, spending an afternoon of laziness I followed a rabbit (much like Alice in Wonderland) down a holler hole. I first found myself here.

And now...

Just when I was about to give up and on the brink of tears, I saw out of the corner of my eye a small curtain next to one of the doors.

I got up to inspect it, pulling back the folds of the curtain to discover a tiny door. I tried the little golden key and to my hillbilly delight, it fit!

Opening the door, I found it led into another passage. On the other side of the passage was a beautiful garden. This hillbilly, is absolutely IN LOVE with flowers and I ached to touch the bright colored pedals and to feel their silkiness against my skin, but I was too big to fit through the tiny door. It was only about a cats length high..

With a sigh, I went back to the tree trunk table to find sitting upon it, a bottle that had a note that said, "Drink Me".

Well, now, no Hillbilly in their right mind would drink something unfamiliar, but in this strange world things seemed to be different and with courage I didn't' know I had, I took the stopper out of the bottle, tipped my head back and drank the clear liquid.

Licking my lips afterwards I was reminded of Root-beer and Taffy. Not too bad after all and I was still alive, I think. This was quite the strange get up of a dream I was in anyway, I could already be gone.

After pondering the drink, I had looked down and noticed that the floor was closer then it had been before. "What the Sam Hill happened." I shrieked. But then, I noticed I was now small enough to fit through the tiny door.

That wondrous garden called to me, so I mustered up my new found courage and walked toward the flowers on the other side.

There were so many flowers, and a babbling brook, some things were familiar, while others were not and as I reached to touch a peculiar flower with deep red pedals, I heard a rustle behind me.

I turned so quickly, I knocked myself off balance (which seems to be a thing for me as of late- life has surely gotten strange) I feel into the babbling brook and was wet from my waist down. I then heard a chuckle from close by, but seen no face.

So, I said out loud, "Show yourself!" and received only a snicker in return. But that's when I saw yet another sign that read, "You are here" with a Koala bear smiling an extra large smile.

Again, my hillbilly critter intuition led me to believe I may be in Australia. When it dawned on me...

ScoMan is in Australia. I wonder if that was him snickering at me. Not showing his face is what he does best.

So, I squeezed the water from my britches as best as I could and I rolled my pant legs up to cuff about my knees and I wondered the garden and the trees trying to find the rabbit and ScoMan, and wondering all the while, "What is happening to me."

Thank you for that Hillbilly Duhn!

*Pauses to give you all time to make your standing ovation*

If you're on the edge of your seat wondering where the story will go from here (as I am), you will need to head to "Chicken Nuggets of Wisdom" tomorrow.

And just so you all know, she actually wrote this post before the pictures of my well hidden face were included in the last post. Not only is she a great writer, but perhaps a bit of a psychic as well.

As for me, I'm disappearing for a few days to attend the International Comedy Festival. Hopefully when I return I have some interesting stories of my experience to share with you, otherwise I guess I'll have to make something else up...

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

This is Her Dream

I know there have probably been a few sleepless nights for some of you. Laying awake wondering if you are the lucky one who will be guest posting here shortly. Well, I will tell you I have notified the person who will be doing the guest posting.. but let's just keep that a mystery for now (I know, I NEVER do anything mysterious, and yet, here we are) It was a tough decision to make, but after seeing a preview of what is in store.. well it's like everything lined up and I'm fairly sure I made the right choice.

Oh, and one more piece of business before I get started. If people out there enjoy looking at a cute dog or two you can head over to Krystal's blog and find out all about the dog competition going on at the moment. And perhaps even vote for her dog Bama while you're there =)

Those of you who follow "From the STUPIDEST corner of my mind" will have seen she its author, and my good friend Thrice, is leaving shortly to live out her dreams in America. She has been working hard towards this for so long, she has been thinking about it every day, and I'm going to take this chance to congratulate her and wish her all the best in the next chapter of her life.

As I said, she is a good friend. In fact, at some point in time I became Paris to her Nicole.

She is of course Nicole because she is the cute one. And the funny one. And the intelligent one. And the likeable one.

I'm Paris because I'm the "other" one. I'm the one that is an easy target for stand up comedians everywhere. And then there were those embarassing pictures of me getting out of my car. Oh, and not to forget my sex tape (Which is called "Riding the Scottland Rail"* and available where all good blogger sex tapes are sold. You know, just in case you happen to be curious.)

Anyway, being the thoughtful and considerate person she is, she has for awhile wanted me to show myself to the bloggosphere. She thinks I need to make myself real to my readers. And, well, because she is going away and she is living out her dream I thought I should probably do something for her, and so I eventually agreed.

Some of you may remember awhile ago I did a photo shoot of her which was released to the bloggosphere, well a few days ago she did one of me... so here it is.. what you've been waiting for.. (Oh and look, it was during that blog I became her Paris and she my Nicole.. that's hot)

Okay, so that might not have been all you were waiting for. But between that time I showed you my scar on the ankle and now this, the pieces must be coming together. You could practically pick me out of a line up!

And yes, that is my tongue in the first picture. And no, we didn't line up the skull so it flew across the screen behind me. And the one of my hair is because she liked my hair that day, even though I hadn't showered or done anything to it yet.. it takes me 8 seconds every morning to do my hair and I'm only now being told it looks better after I've just crawled out of bed. Do you know how many eight seconds's I've wasted?

Well, she did something for you anyway. And now you should do something for her. Because she will be gone from the bloggosphere for several weeks while she moves and everything and gets set up in her new country it will be up to the rest of you to keep an eye on me and keep me safe. I don't know if you want to do a roster or take shifts or how you want to work it, but I am like a child wandering into places I shouldn't wander, so it will be hard work, but I know you're up to it. (Most of you anyway. Some of you would probably encourage the aimless wandering until security come along and escort me out or lock me up)

Well, because this post is about dreams coming true (at least that's where it started.. I don't know how we got to sex tapes, scarred ankles and security guards) and because Cristina Scabbia has the voice of an angel which reaches into my soul and keeps it warm, I'll leave you with this song..

Nilla, I'll miss you biatch!

* After spending several hours trying to match the title "One Night In Paris" that is the best I came up up with

Friday, April 3, 2009

I love a creative challenge (may contain traces of plugging)

I just want to start by saying thank you to everyone who commented on the "backwards post". Especially those of you that took the time to read it. Your kind words and encouragement to try something different have inspired a slightly more twisted idea I will use one day in the future.

Hello ScoFans!

As you learned in the last post, I love a creative challenge. If something is thrown in front of me and I am asked to provide a creative repsonse (or, if I just feel like doing something exceptionally creative) I will enjoy every minute of it.

That's why this week when I was asked to "Analyze This!" a grin crossed my face as the cogs started to tick over. A creative challenge had been thrown before me, and I was ready to accept.

Not only did I accept the challenge, I was successful in the challenge. What did success bring me?

The chance to guest blog at "Insomniac Lolita"

Yes, it will be ScoMan as you've never seen him before. Pretty in pink.

And I would like to thank Andhari for giving me this opportunity. For pulling me out of my comfort zone, and putting me on a whole new stage. She is a great blogger and an excellent stalker.. I'm pretty sure I've seen her hanging around most of your blogs, but if you haven't given her blog a chance yet, head over there now and have a look. I'll wait..

Back? Shall we continue?

Of all of my pets, I am fairly certain Andhari is the second closest to me.. geographically speaking. She is from Indonesia, Australia's "neighbour to the north"

And, because you asked, why yes, I do speak a little Indonesian. I learned it in the last year of primary school and the first year of high school, so we're talking 10-12 years ago. I still remember some phrases, however I'm not 100% sure I can translate or spell them all correctly any more.

But if you're ready for a quick Indonesian lesson, let's go!
Siapa nama kamu? - What is your name?
Apa kabar? - How are you?
Kabar baik - I think this means like "fine" or "Not good but not bad".. or, I guess "Meh"
Baik baik saja - Good, thank you
Ayo!- I think this means "Go!" It was the title of one of my text books.

That is all I remember right now. Besides, this blog wasn't supposed to be focused on being an Indonesian lesson.. it's an Italian lesson as well. Yes, when I gave up Indonesian I studied Italian for 3 years.. care to see some of what I remember there?
Apri la porta - This means open or close the window or door. I can't remember. It is one of those four things. Safe to say that if I was in Italy and the police were banging on the door saying "Apri la porta!".. I wouldn't be closing a window. I'd work it out.
Crepa, pezzo di merda, e vai, a sucare cazzi su un aereo! - Die, piece of shit, and go sucking dicks on a plane! (okay, I learnt this one from the Tool song "Message to Harry Manback")

But that's enough about my incredible multi language speaking ability. Seriously though I don't remember enough of either of them now to hold a conversation in either one. I'm sure if I picked up a book to teach myself the language it would all come back to me, and maybe someday I'll do that. But not today.

Back to the topic at hand. I am going to suggest again heading over to Andhari's blog (for those of you who didn't before) and perhaps reading this great album review for a band with hit tracks such as "You Speak Prada?", "I'm Hotter Than Your Woman" and "Party In Whose Pants?". Or you could kick things off on the right foot by making sure you don't get the wrong ideas about her. Or you could just check out the whole damn thing.

The important thing is that you follow it, add it to your reader, subscribe to the feed.. do whatever it is you to do stay updated on a blog, so that when my guest post appears you're ready for it.

You see, this is a chance for you to ask yourself an important question... are you my follower who will follow me wherever I may blog? Or are you my pet who will stand obediently by this blog and protect it in my absence.

I say follow me to Insomniac Lolita, and even after my guest appearance has been and gone continue following her blog. It's worth it.

Oh, and while I'm bragging about my creative challenge accomplishments, has anyone checked out 20something bloggers March Carnival Round up?

Yes, there I am again.

And seeing as this blog is about MY creative challenge accomplishments, a thought occurs to me. How would you like to take on a creative challenge?

Because, I offered you something when I hit 100 blogs, however by blogging elsewhere it won't count towards my blog count.

So what do I do? How do I make my blog count include a blog that's done elsewhere?

I don't.

I make it include a blog that somebody else does here.

So, if you would like to guest post on "A Name in Your Recollection" (did I mention it has featured as one of the top submissions in a 20SB blog carnival? I did? Oh, sorry) I am going to ask you to do two things:
1/ Head over to Andhari's blog and read one of her posts. Leave her a comment to show you were there. You'll enjoy it, and thank me later. (this will also catch those of you who still haven't gone. Now you've been forced to if you want to take up this opportunity.)
2/ In exactly 25 words, encourage me to choose you. You can encourage me however you wish. You can suck up to me. You can promote your blogging skills. You can make me laugh. You can give me the first 25 words of what you would post to leave me wanting more. You can threaten me. You can plead with me.

It's up to you. Just leave your comment with quotation marks around the words you want as your entry.

Oh, and remember, next time I blog will be at Insomniac Lolita. I hope to see you all there!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Blog Backwards My Is This

"Drive long really a been have would it" say I them to but, too me in it have might I that argument the make may some ?Favour a all us do not why so, them in it have they know I. Prison from released been has that murder of convicted anyone to complaint of letter a write should I thinking been I've.

Found be to nowhere were they, them needed country their when ?Crackpots the were where
?Psychos the were where. Today started case the unfortunately but, "date court the see to live won't he", thought I court to them taking was he heard first I when.

Us rest the for it ruin has he, threshold the over is income his because just. Unconstitutional it's saying court to them taking is lawyer some and, economy the boost to it spend and out go will we so "Australians Working" to payments $900 out hand to trying is government our. Country this in crackpots the and pyschos the with disappointed very am I say to like just would I, anyway.

Masterpiece this missed world the if tragedy real be would it and. It do never will I, now it do don't I if myself to thought just I guess I. List my of top the to jumped one this somehow, "soon this write to going I'm" you of some to said I've blogs the all with, blogs future for head my in swimming got I've ideas other the all with.

Dissapoint to hate I but, really isn't he. Good is Satan.. one this except. One isn't there, message satanistic some for looking you of those for and. Point my proove I think I, you of lot a frustrate to sure is that task on a taking by and, me for blog this write I said always I've. It like you of many how care don't I, it read you of many how care don't I, personally.

Backwards all, written is it as exactly it read will many how wonder I. Bottom to top from, backwards sentence each read just will many how wonder I. Written was it way the, top to bottom from it read will many how wonder I. It read to bother will you of many how wonder I this write I as.

Thinks large at world the what of regardless, it do must I then and, idea an as head my into pops just it. Purpose no serves it. Myself amuse to just, different little a something do to like I then and now every.

ScoFans Hello