Lights On, Noone's Home

Been here before couldn't say I liked it
Do I start writing all this down?
Just let me plug you into my world
Can't you help me be uncrazy?
Metallica- The Unnamed Feeling


ScoMan left a few days ago now and Matt wasn't interested in taking over. I've been empty.

Uninspired. Unmotivated. Unwilling to do anything outside of what is absolutely necessary to ensure the surival of my being and my job. I force a smile. I'm glad I have my masks.

Perhaps it's my time to shuffle off this mortal coil, and whilst it is honorable for the Captain to go down with the ship, there seems to be some difference of opinion as to who exactly that is.

I look forward to going to bed. And when I'm there, I don't want to leave. Why is it we always seek out the comfort of our beds when we're down, but don't appreciate it when we're not? No matter what you told me now, I would feel nothing.

Perhaps one of Georgia's reaper friends popped my soul out well before my time, and all that's left for me to do is spiral towards my violent, untimely demise.

I've stumbled through every conversation I've had over the last few days, just doing enough to avoid being asked "What's wrong?". I hate that question. I've done everything I can over the last few years to avoid it. What's wrong? I'm dead inside.

Perhaps it's just been a long week, and resting ScoMan and Matt over the long weekend will make one of them ready to control this vessel again. I think that's the most likely scenario.

With what life gave me, it's no wonder I'm a fertilizer salesman

Just when I think I'm running out of things to write about, one of you, my lovely pets, gives me something. Whether it be inspiration, an idea, or as in this case, an award.

The lovely Thrice was kind enough to select me for the "Lemonade Award" (no, it is not tradeable for a Pepsi award, I asked). These are the rules. In order to accept this award, I must...

1. Thank the person who was so thoughtful for giving you this award by linking their blog to this post. - Thanks Ace! Luv you!

2. Put the logo on your blog or post. - It's above. Isn't it pretty?

3. Nominate 10 blogs which show great attitude/gratitude. - See below

4. Link your nominees to your post. - See below

5. Comment them to tell them about the award they've won. - No. They will have to read this post to see they won.

Anyway, I'm not sure if I'll do all ten. I'll just go through as many as I want to. (Oh dear, how ever will I plug these blogs when I've had so little practice?)

Firstly, my long lost little sister (you are going to regret ever saying that) yourstruly100 from "Everyday is a little life". You've given me some ideas for some great posts, and I have returned the favour. I also love your idea for the "Peace Centers"

Next, Stephanie from "Breathing up the Oxygen" I always love reading your blog to see what you and your smelly dog are up to.

Badriyyah at "Life Through My Eyes", my partner on the tandem story. I've mentioned before how great your blog is, I don't need to do it again (but it is great)

Patti Ann and your tales of an Actor in New York told at "i love this city always" are always interesting. You also get an award.

Random Hiccups at "Slave to the Ordinary", yours is one of the first blogs I stumbled on to and I enjoyed it so much I stuck around.

And Hillbilly Duhn, although I only recently stumbled on to your blog, "Hillbilly Duhn's Trials & Tribulations", I am enjoying it so much I know I will stick around.

EcK from "Somethings Wrong With This Guy", your blog is often loaded with useful information, or if not that, interesting tales.

And finally D* from "I'm having a moment", you may never read this so you may not ever know you won, but you did introduce me to the blogger site and to 20 something bloggers. Without her influence none of you would be here, enjoying my wonderful blog as much as you do. You have her to thank (or blame).

That's enough. I think I got eight. Near enough to 10, yes? I don't think I missed anyone, but I probably did. Well, if I'm ever giving out these things again, you might get one next time.

Wait... loss?

Sometime last year I was told that people who weigh over 100kgs would definately have some sort of a sleeping disorder. Being that I was tired all the time and tipped the scales at just over that mark, I thought perhaps I should do something about it.


So, I changed my diet. Cut out all the bad things. I really couldn't be bothered with excercise though (other than the 10mins walk to and from work, including walking home for lunch and back afterwards each day). I wasn't out to be an athlete here, just to be healthy.


I monitored my progress over about 2 months, and my weight somehow managed to increase. So I gave up.


I stayed with my parents this weekend and noticed the scales on their bathroom floor. I hadn't checked the weight for at least 6 months, but it never changed, so why would it this time?


It did change. Somewhere, somehow, 12 kilograms disappeared. I checked three times over the weekend. Gone.


There is so much loss in my weight loss tale.


I'm at a loss to explain how those kilograms disappeared.
I discussed this with mum, and I thought chances are I have a terminal illness. Those guys lose weight for no reason all the time. Her theory was that if I had a terminal illness, I would probably be ill. She had a point.


I'm at a loss to explain why the kilograms stayed with me when I was eating healthy.
I don't even have a theory on that one.



I'm at a loss to explain where exactly the kilograms disappeared from
The face and stomach all still look the same. The only thing I'm thinking is it's disappeared from my legs because they do all the hard work holding the rest of me up. *Sigh* If I lose another twelve kilograms I won't be able to make those jokes any more, and that would be society's loss.

Imagine that

I don't have much to say lately. I'll share a story from this evening, which normally, if I had a head full of wonderful ideas, wouldn't get a look in.

I came up to visit my family for the weekend, and this is a conversation I had with my brother.

Him "I think you'd like the book I'm reading at the moment. It's about a serial killer who calls people and leaves them riddles and gives them 3 minutes to work them out, or they die"
Me "Sounds a lot like the movie I watched last night"
Him "What was the name of the movie?"
Me "Thr3e" (yes, I managed to pronounce it that way)
Him "Also the name of the book, which has been turned into a movie"

There I go with those serial killers again.

"Look down on me, you will see a fool. Look up at me, you will see your Lord. Look straight at me, you will see yourself."

Charles Manson

Frogs and dogs

Some of you may have now realised I do, on a regular basis, steal an idea from my "long lost little sister" yourstruly100. Some of you probably feel a plug coming up. First, I will say that this is a two way street, I steal her ideas and she steals mine. If you like the blog I wrote about what my Christmas presents said about me, check out her blog about what her birthday presents say about her here.


I think that's all the plug she needs. The fact I steal her ideas shows that I like the concepts of her blogs, the fact that she steals mine shows that she is intelligent.


Lately I've felt like I needed to say something. Anything. I needed to express myself and get a blog down, but I couldn't find any words. Then I read her post here about the frog in the well.


It started with a comment on her blog. But, then I thought, I love that comment so much, I would love to expand it into a blog. First, I'll share the story for those who don't know it.


There was a frog that lived in a shallow well.


" Look how well off I am here ! " he told a big turtle from the Eastern Ocean. " I can hop along the coping of the well when I go out, and rest by a crevice in the bricks on my return. I can wallow to my heart's content with only my head above water, or stroll ankle deep through soft mud. No crabs or tadpoles can compare with me. I am master of the water and lord of this shallow well, What more can a fellow ask ? Why don't you come here more often to have a good time ? "


Before the turtle from the Eastern Ocean could get his left foot into the well, however, he caught his right claw on something. So he halted and stepped back then began to describe the ocean to the frog.


"It's more than a thousand miles across and more than ten thousand feet deep. In ancient times there were floods nine years out of ten yet the water in the ocean never increased.


And later there were droughts seven years out of eight yet the water in the ocean never grew less. It has remained quite constant throughout the ages. That is why I like to live in the Eastern Ocean. "


Then the frog in the shallow well was silent and felt a little abashed.


She admitted, like I do, that we are the frog.


I know that my flat is my well. I know there is an ocean out there. Personally though, I am not really interested.


Because, my pets, I am a transformer. At this point in my blog I make the transition from frog, to dog, and I share with you a quote from a Metallica song, "Low Man's Lyric"


"So you bring this poor dog in from the rain, but he just wants right back out again.."


People look at me in my rainy well and feel sorry for me. "This poor frog dog, how can it be happy in circumstances that I might find uncomfortable? No, what it needs is a life exactly like mine"


So they invite me to their warm ocean where there are lots of other creatures, and, on occassions, I have even visited this ocean.


But in all its vastness, for all its creatures, the ocean just felt.. empty. The ocean holds nothing of interest for me. The experiences always leave me longing for my well.


The tortoises will never understand.