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Sunday, June 6, 2010

The Naked Man

Hello ScoFans!

First order of business, Jewels Diva passed me a few pressies in her last post. It was her "Hunk of the Month" post, but unfortunately, I missed out on that title AGAIN. It has to be my month soon though.

Anyway, because I do love to brag and show off the wonderful things people do for me, I thought I'd share those pressies with you now..

For those of you who aren't on Twitter, first of all wake up and smell the '10s, and secondly that's my Twitter avatar. And when it comes to sexy avatar's, I think you'll all agree that one has to be near the top of the list (am I right ladies?)

I think me taking the credit for being the sexy beast though is about on par with Hugh Heffner claiming the glory of being the "Playmate of the month" (I heard that's a thing. I mean, I don't know. I just researched it on Wikipedia. My friend mentioned it once. I only know Hugh Heffner because I saw him on The Simpsons. What's Playboy?)

While we're talking Models, I whinged and complained that Jewels made Michael Weatherly the "Model" covershot and not yours truly. Because whingers always get their way, she was kind enough to email this to me the next day..

Thanks for both of those shots Jewels.

Now on to what I wanted to share with you all today. And be ready, because I'm going to be conducting research at the end of this post, so take notes.

The following story is true.. it happened to a friend of a friend of mine.. actually it happened to a coworker.

A few weeks ago said coworker went out to the pub. The thing about the town I live in is it's about 15 kilometres from an army base, which works out well for this particular coworker. She loves checking out the "men in uniform"

The thing about men in uniform here, especially young men in uniform, is they realise that ladies like young men in uniform, and that makes them incredibly confident.

On this particular night one of these young military men managed to talk his way back to my coworkers place, but she did give him one condition.. she wouldn't sleep with him. She was happy to watch a DVD or just hang out, but he wasn't going to be getting any action.

He agreed to those terms.

So after a bit of DVD watching and sitting with distance between them, she gets up to go to the bathroom. Remember how I said young military men were confident? Well, when she walks back from the bathroom, she found this one just sitting there... naked.

Fans of "How I Met Your Mother" might recognise this move as "The Naked Man"..

(I am being generous to my female readers today, aren't I?)

It was said on "How I Met Your Mother" that this move will work two out of every three times. Unfortunately for soldier boy, he became the one out of three. You know, after the shock had passed.

She wasn't just shocked because he had decided to disrobe, but because she had given him no indication whatsoever that she was interested in seeing him in his birthday suit. And the thing about my coworker is, she isn't backwards in coming forwards and she can be quite loud, so I would hate to be on the wrong end of what he received that night.

I told her I was disappointed though. I told her she shouldn't have carried on like that, she should have just acted like nothing was out of the ordinary. I like to think that someone, somewhere has just given the naked man no reaction. Some guy somewhere has worked up the courage to pull this stunt, and has received not even the batting of an eyelid or missing of a beat for his efforts.

Some of you might be wondering whether I have my coworkers permission to tell this story, well.. I do. She doesn't know I have a blog of course, but she said she is telling everyone and anyone about it and she asked me to do the same in the name of research (being a soldier he isn't local any more, he was shipped out so we don't have to worry about his embarrassment. Not that that concerns any of you, because none of your are local either)

She was going to go out and deal with.. you know, real people, and because I don't like dealing with real people, I volunteered to conduct my research with the Internet.

So in the name of research, I'm putting the following questions out there (please note all answers will be anonymous unless they aren't)
  • Have you ever tried the naked man or woman? Or have you had the naked man or woman tried on you?
  • If so, was it successful?
  • If you have had more than one naked man or woman experience, what is the success rate?
You should note that this research is crucial, as it gives us something to discuss at work in the afternoon after we've had enough of our daily tasks.

And hopefully this post has given you some watercooler or dinner table conversation that you can use in your own lives. I like to help in whatever way I can.


  1. All of my nakedity experience both giving and receiving has been mutual.

    I wouldn't mind experiencing the naked man though.

  2. It's a long time since I've been exposed to such pursuits, though I'd say no, I haven't tried it myself. It's never been tried on me. That said, it's never been tried on me, except as a child and this does not fit in the same jolly category, you're describing here.

    Enough said about my experience therefore, Scoman though I must add, despite the generational divide, I enjoy reading about your research.

  3. hello sco!

    no, no and therefore the rest of the questions are irrelevant. hahaha

  4. I have never experienced the naked man. I don't even know what I would do. If it ever happens to me, I'll act like nothing's different, just for you.

    Also, I love HIMYM and NPH, and that episode is fantastical.

  5. Done a lot of the naked myself and always been very well-received!!

    I've never experienced the naked man, but if truth be told, I'd probably jump on him, if I found him naked.

    But that's just cause I'm weird and usually horny.

  6. I have experienced the naked man and it was quite the shock. I was looking for an apartment or roommate and agreed to meet this guy. I met him, looked around the apartment and then he was naked. Yeah. It was awkward.

  7. You do look quite hot on those magazine covers!!!!

  8. My life is pretty dull. I have never experienced the naked man nor done the naked thing myself. I think if I was your coworker I might have confiscated naked man's clothes and then shown him out the door, though I guess since he's in the military this probably isn't a wise idea.

  9. Wake up and smell the '10s? I prefer to party like it's 1999. I was younger then.

    My husband and I watch How I Met Your Mother and I remember that episode. I had no idea anyone would try that move. I think the success rate must really be much worse that the show indicated because disrobing without warning is a sure sign a person is a pervert.

    Keep in mind I have no personal experience. I'm just extremely judgmental.

  10. No nakedness that wasn't mutual but I did go on a first date and the guy had his toothbrush, deodrant and comb in his pocket....that was our LAST date!

  11. I loved that episode of How I Met Your Mother! But, no, I have never had the naked man/woman done on me and I have never done it. I know I do kind of a variation where I strip before the fellow's presence and the success rate is a hundred percent but I guess that doesn't really count because it isn't the correct variable for your research.

  12. No way does that work 2 out of 3 times.

  13. omg that is too funny. i never watch that show, but i don't think i could ever pull that move.

    love seeing you on the magazine covers-ha ha! cool!

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  15. I've never tried it. It sounds hilarious, though. Totally reminds me of that "Friends" where Joey did it to Monica.

  16. My brother got his nickname from NPH when he played Dougie Howser (Sp?) We consequently call my brother 'douges'. He too is an avid fan of HIMYM and NPH. As for your 'mag' covershoot... Does one ask what was on your rider list?

  17. The Naked Man! I was discussing this just the other day with a friend who, in the midst of making out with a guy and making it clear that it wasn't going to go any further, he whipped it out. And we were wondering if that was his version of the naked man, and he was just too lazy to go whole hog. If you're wondering, it didn't work. Though the naked man sounds so hilarious to me, that I think I might fall for it. I mean, just walking in and he's naked on your couch? That's funny.

    p.s.~ Same friend has a roommate who subscribes to Playboy, so I was glancing through it at her apartment last week and I discovered something. All those guys who claim they read Playboy for the articles? They're likely telling the truth. Seriously, the whole magazine is chock-full of incredibly long articles about normal news stories, with surprisingly few photos of naked women.
    Playboy, I misjudged you. And I'm sorry.

  18. I have never pulled this on anyone because I wouldn't want them to die of fright.

    I'm anxious to see the results of this scientific study.

  19. I think I can pull it off and it will be a success everytime. HAHAHHAA. Kidding.

    This move wont work on me though, unless the guy is REALLY hot.

  20. Wow, I can't believe someone really tried it.

    Sadly, I've never had that move pulled on me - or tried it on anyone else. So, I guess it's still on my "list of things to do".

  21. AW, how come cool things like this never happen to me? lol ahahah!

  22. I think I did that with my husband a few times. Made it more interesting and he seemed to have no problem with it. Interesting question.

  23. I wish that'll happen to me! Hahahaha I'm pretty good at ignoring awkward shit.

  24. I saw that episode and wondered if it were in fact true. I doubt it. I'd bet the success rate is more like 20%.

    However, the success rate of the "Naked Woman" has to be in the 90 percentile.


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