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Monday, August 16, 2010

It's time you.. knew,, umm.. "the truth"

Hello... ummm.. ScoFans!

Okay, I... I don't have a lot of... a lot of time to share this with you. I.. they.. they know I'm going to finally reveal... reveal one of the biggest.. the worst conspiracies.. of the last... of all time.. and.. and.. the worst part about it is.. nobody suspects anything.

Some... of you know that.. that I've been sick for about a week now... annnnnnnnnnnd... and I'm sure you thought nothing of it.. because it's winter in Australia... and.. and that's just what happens.. people get sick in the winter... right?

But... that... that's not right... at all... it's just what they... want you to believe...

The doctors... they accountants.. they've been.. conspiring.. against you... for... centuries now.. and.. they're... infecting the population... with disease.. to... to... to.. to test how control groups react.. to the viruses.. and.. to drive people to doctors waiting rooms.. and.. increase.. the doctors revenues.

Ummmm... if you.. if you just think about it.. the signs are... obvious. The.. Americans.. generally visit their accountants... in.. January each year.. for Australia it's during July. That is during their coldest.. months.. to mask what they're doing.. to blame.. the diseases... on the weather..

And even though... more people.. are lodging their own.. returns.. each.. year.. still large percentages.. are visiting accountants.. and that is... is enough.. to move infection... throughout.. the population.

The process.. itself.. is simple.. by.. voluntarily.. locking.. dozens of people... umm.. in small rooms.. with their accountant.. each week.. by.. infecting.. the accountant.. most of the people.. will also become.. umm.. infected.. and.. they spread.. the virus.. through people.. they.. then.. umm.. come into contact with..

So..

If you hear..

Your accountant..

Cough..

You should..

Umm...

I must...

...
...

...

Run...

22 comments:

  1. blame the government and their taxes!! yeah...

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  2. oh hey. i prefer that people stay away from me. simply because i'm lazy.

    hahaha. fact that should not be shared with the entire universe but because i love you way too much, i'm willing to put my career at risk. ahahaha.

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  3. You are killing me, but I am not above believing in a government conspiracy or two. I am jealous that you said it's winter in Australia because that didn't occur to me and I love winter and now I'm jealous because it's 106 with a trillion percent humidity here.

    Oh, and I feed my dog. He just prefers fecal matter to highly rated, all natural, and organic dog chow. Sadly, he's had an odd gleam for more in his eyes. You know, like a heroin addict who scored a few bucks for a fix. That look of hope. Your parents' dog, however, may be hungry.

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  4. Oh sco! You're one post too late. I'm afraid I've already been infected. My nose is leaking like a broken faucet, I have a sore throat and I'm coughing coughing coughing. Boohoo...

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  5. That's some theory and it may be true...but I was told once...to trust no one.

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  6. You're just allergic to taxes ;) Hope you're feeling better soon!

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  7. bahahahahaha!

    Whenever I get sick now, I'm blaming you!

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  8. lol I love the way you wrote this lol, I was hooked til the end..hope you feel better soon, if its been a week then you should be getting better soon lol

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  9. Yeah! In the US they are called Socialist Democrats.

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  10. I think the most stupid thing that people do when they don't feel well is visit the doctor...
    those waiting rooms are a hot bed of disease.

    They should ban sick people from visiting.... and don't get me started on why you should avoid hospitals…..

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  11. Are you sure it's not just TAX-itis? I get a terribly upset stomach every year when it's time to pay up ours! Whatever it is...hope you feel better soon! Thanks for the encouraging words you wrote on my blog! I needed that!

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  12. Our dear IRS held onto our return until last Friday. I think they were trying to kill me.

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  13. Surprisingly this all makes perfect sense.

    Hope you are feeling better soon!

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  14. ...I work in the medical field and I've been "monitoring" your blog for quite some time. >:)

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  15. So, YOU are the method of transport for the virus that sickens and maybe even kills everyone? And you KNOW IT? That's totally effed up.

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  16. Scoman - you are brilliant. Only a man of your unique genius could figure this out.

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  17. You know, you might be onto something!

    The hubs and I jsut did our taxes! I know, we're really late and in kind of in trouble. Maybe that's why we didn't get sick! :D

    Hope you get better soon!

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  18. Poor Scoman :( I hate being sick. I've been a complete snotface (literally) the past 2 weeks with a summer cold. Colds are only supposed to happen in the winter!!! Dang my allergies.

    I hope you feel better soon. xoxoxo

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  19. makes perfect sense to me! wise beyond your years you are!

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  20. If we don't hear from you for a while we'll know who to blame.

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