I just want to start today by pointing you over to Shanimal's Crackers to read about some awesome anonymous pranking. I thought I'd done a pretty good task of my anonymous prank, but I know when I'm beaten, and while she might call it a "good deed".. I think there's definitely an edge of prank to it.
Anyway, as some of you saw on Twitter a few weeks (months?) ago I was looking for advice on how to get started with organising my passport (and as much as I would like to say it's to visit Cher because she told me she could get me tickets to the world premiere of Griff in Toronto, Cher of course it's mostly to visit you... everyone except Cher of course it's mostly to see Griff.. I have been waiting for that movie for a long time), unfortunately that isn't the case.
And it's a good thing that's not the case, because this is a long process and there's no way I'd have it in time for the premiere. Plus, because it's all so hard, I'm really dragging my feet.
So here's how it's happened so far:
- Several of you told me on Twitter to go to the post office and get an application form, I did that .. Monday.. two weeks ago. I also needed to get my photo taken for it, for some reason I decided not to do that on the same day (I think doing two things in one day can be very tiring)
- Two Saturday's ago I started filling out the form and saw I needed my birth certificate as proof of ID. I didn't have that so I texted my parents, and as dad was coming down the following weekend anyway, he told me he'd bring it with him.
- Dad came down last Sunday. As it turns out, my parents never got my birth certificate, just the extract, which is no longer good for anything. Make a mental not to self - apply for a full birth certificate to be sent out to me.
- Thursday this week, I went in to the post office to get my photo taken. I had to take my glasses off for it, plus she said "You're not allowed to smile. You're not allowed to show any teeth. You're not allowed to be happy in any way" - I smiled at that because it was funny, then she gave me a death stare like "What did I just tell you?".. Hey, if you don't want me to smile, don't say stuff that makes me smile. Tell me you deleted my save games on my Xbox, then I won't be smiling.
Plus, because I was trying not to smile, I look like a serial killer in the photos. I think that's handy. "Please let me into your country, I promise I won't kill you... yet"
One of my friends also had to get a "Working with children" card because.. well because he works with children.. and because he wasn't allowed to smile either he looks pretty suspicious on his working with children thing too. Plus he has a beard, and you can't trust people with beards.
He looks like a pedophile and his card that says children are safe around him, that's all I'm saying.
- Last night - Ask mum where the hell I go to apply for the birth certificate. She sent me toward the "Births, death and marriages" website (with any luck I'll only ever be recorded there for two of the three things they manage)
- Today - Go to the website to print out the application form. My printer is out of ink. Email form to my work email address with the subject "Do this or I'll kill you". Have a brief fright when I think I may have accidentally sent it to the work email address and not to MY work email address.
I think it's a shame I don't have my passport though, because it asks "Why are you applying for your birth certificate?" and one of the reasons it lists is "Passport application", then further down you can use your passport and proof of identification. I'd like to say I was applying for the passport and then use it to ID myself, just to freak them out.
Plus when it comes to payment options, one of the ones they offer is "In person".
If I was paying them in person, I wouldn't be filling in their stupid forms and photocopying my ID. I'd go down there and make them do it, and pay them while I was there.
Anyway, soon I will have proof that I exist, and then after that I will be free to travel and explore the world.
The only thing stopping me is my lack of desire to travel and explore the world.
Thinking of you always,
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