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Saturday, March 27, 2010

Return of The Sco

"So, I'm back up in the game, running things like half my swing
Lettin' all the people know that I'm back to run the show"
Return of the Mack - Mark Morrison

Hello ScoFans!

It's no secret that I'm back. I've been tweeting and commenting on your blogs for about a week now, but this is the first moment I've had the time to sit and write a post.

So where did I go?

Well, for those of you who I haven't caught up, I went to Canberra, which is kind of like Australia's Washington. It's where all our Pollie's hang out (in theory, they're usually flying around the globe though)

And for those of you who don't speak Strayan, "Pollie" is "politican". And Strayan is "Australian"

From Sunday through to Wednesday I had a conference to attend, and because I'd never been to Canberra before I decided to stay until Sunday and see what it had to offer.

Today I'll cover the Sunday to Wednesday bit, and at a later time I'll cover the rest (the second post will feature pictures. I didn't think any of you would be interested in pictures of a room full of sleeping people, so there are no pictures from the conference)

On the Sunday we had to go to the conference center and register, and then out to the Australian Institute of Sport where they had free drinks.. but no food. Or there was food, but no meals. Just finger food type stuff.

Anyway, as an "Ice Breaker"(and I thought this was a great ice breaker) they gave everyone half of an athlete. If you could find the person who had the other half, you won a prize (a crappy bottle opener - I don't think many people claimed their prize after we all found out what they were)

I had Usain Bolt's top half, and when I found the girl with his legs there was some debate as to who was "The better half"

I said I had his brain, his lungs and his heart, without them he couldn't live.

She said she had his legs. Without them nobody would even know who he was.

I still think I was right, so if I refer to her again I'll refer to her as "SNTBH" (So Not The Better Half)

While I'm doing that -
OOH - Other Office Head
OOP - Other Office Partner
TEG- The English Guy
TIL - The Illustrious Leader
SIC - Second In Charge
TWW - The Work Wife
SCO - Me

Later that night the head of the company that put on the conference came around introducing himself. OOH and TIL had met him many times before (briefly, he wouldn't remember them, as you'll see if he did he wouldn't have come over)
OOH - I'd just like you to know Barry that I'm the President of your fan club.
Barry- I didn't know I had a fan club, that's nice to know. Thank you.
OOH - Well it's a very small group, but we always say nice things about you.
TIL - Except for when we don't.
Barry- Okay, I better keep going. Have a good night!

OOH and TIL went to university together, and when they're around each other they still get up to their university tricks.

Like on the Tuesday night, our last night together before most of them went home, we were at dinner and we got a Greek waiter. The poor guy didn't have much of a grasp on the English language, and obviously didn't know his classic movie trivia.

OOH and TIL kept asking him questions about things that they didn't want. They'd ask if a meal came with this that or the other and he'd always just respond "I think it does have that, but I can check if you like" and they'd respond "No it's okay, I didn't want it anyway"

What makes me think he doesn't know his classic movie trivia?

When my boss asked if they had any Soylent Green he said "Yeah I think we have that"

If I hadn't already ordered the fish, then I would have asked for the Soylent Green.

What? I'm curious.

Speaking of the fish, just after I had finished lemonising mine (and I use a LOT of lemon on my fish.. like the fish is drowning in it.. wait, no, fish don't drown) WW decided I hadn't had enough so threw her lemon at me, and it landed on my fish.

She CLAIMS it slipped from her hands while she was lemonising her own fish, but there are no witnesses, and I like to believe everyone is out to get me, so I'm sticking with she threw it.

We also had a few plates of chips on the table that we passed around and put on our own plates. This happened.
OOH: Don't be scared to take the last one Sco.
SCO: Don't worry, I won't take the last one.
*Sco takes all the chips except one*
OOH: If you're ever looking for a job in Melbourne, don't come to me.

Then later, there was an argument about what sort of desert had been served with lunch that day.
OOH: What did you think Sco?
SCO: What was it TIL?
TIL: Coffee
SCO: It was definitely coffee.
OOH: You suck up. I could always have someone else around kissing my ass, you can apply for a job at my office after all.

Some of the speakers of note at the conference were:
Dr Ken Henry- currently doing a review into Australia's tax system (okay, I was excited)
John Brogden- Former opposition leader of New South Wales
Ian Kiernan- Creator of "Clean up Australia day"
Peter FitzSimons- Former Rugby player, now commentator and author.

I won't bore you with details of any of their talks. I was just name dropping.

And that's the end of that chapter.


  1. you came back around the same time i did. and that my friend proved how much we're connected. like ya know, bloggy soul mate kinda thing hehehe.

    oh, hello sco! i missed you :D

  2. WElcome back SCo so nice to have you home...

  3. I missed SCOMAN! Uh-huh! I did I did!

    Love that you 'splained Aussie talk. I don't think it was necessary, but I love that ya did!

    Welcome home!

  4. Riveting stuff. Can't wait for the pictures in Part II. There had better be one of you!

  5. Welcome back. That song brings back memories!

    Missed you, SM.

  6. I am so glad that you are back. Blogging just isn't the same without posts from Scoman! And I'm glad you got a little getaway.

    Those are some long lettered nicknames. I returned to the code several times!

  7. It's about time, Sco! Sheesh.

    So you are getting dangerously close to a worthwhile celebrity encounter. The Strayan (I speak this fluently) tax analyzer guy? People will FREAK OUT if they know you were with him.

    And you're right to think everyone is out to getcha.

  8. Thanks for explaining the Aussie terms!!

    I love lots of lemon on my fish too!!!
    Love that song!!!


  9. Glad you're back. But since I was gone too, I barely noticed.

  10. Hahaha... I had to learn some Strayan in my first year... I suppose you've heard of Australiana by Austen Tayshus!

  11. Welcome back, Sco! Been wondering what you're up to!

  12. It sounds like you had some fun. Well, I'm sure you skipped the boring parts! I love that the waiter thought they had soylent green.

  13. I am glad your back!!! I really missed you! And its fine to admit your nerdy side- tax systems are exciting. Exclaim it loud and proud!

  14. Soylent Green - that's the good stuff right there. It's made out of PEOPLE!!!

  15. lemonizing - I LOVE IT!!! I lemonize my fish too. And I usually do the same with my tacos except I use lime and not lemon. :)

    Great story - just like always!! I laughed at the part about the dude's fan club being small. I need to use that one. Build someone up just to smash them back down. ;) classic!!

    I never did make it to Canberra - very jealous!

  16. Woohooo! You're back! Blogosphere was definitely different without you. I'm glad your back. =)

  17. Strayan huh!

    Did you get to watch the porno and fireworks we discussed on Twitter?


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