Patti Ann interviews ScoMan

Hello ScoFans!

Earlier this week, I was given the opportunity to be interviewed by Patti Ann. She writes a great blog, so go and check it out. And also, check out her questions and my answers below.

1) What's your all time favorite food to eat AND make?

I'm going to list a few here. During the summer here, I love to make up one of these toasty rissoley cheesy beetrooty lettucey things with potatoes (see picture) It's quick, easy, perfect for a hot night and tastes delicious. And nobody.. NOBODY does potatoes like I do potatoes.

During winter, it's Tuna Casserole. I cook up a big batch every fortnight and eat it over a few meals (the joys of living alone) I loved it as a kid, but never got to eat it much because it wasn't spicy enough for father, but now I'm alone I eat it all the time. Yum.

For breakfast (or brinner) it's bacon and eggs or pancakes. Two classics. You can't go past them.

2) Why exactly do you choose to be "eternally single?"


I think it's mostly for selfish reasons. I'm not big on comprimise. And I'm not big on having people around all that much. Sure, it's fun for a little while, but after 5 or 6 hours with someone I'm like "Ok, that's enough of you now, leave me alone" You can't make a relationship work in five or six hour bursts. And.. and well.. damn.. damn.. damn.. damn..





I've grown accustomed to my space
It always brings a peace within
I've grown accustomed to the silence as I move from room to room
The quiet that drowns, the fools, the clowns
Is so wonderful to me now
I'm locking out, not letting in
I am serenely independent and content but then I let
Myself think I can live another way sometimes and yet
I've grown accustomed to my shows, accustomed to my choice
Accustomed to my space

That one's for you Patti Ann! (and to a lesser extent, anyone else who recognises the song)

3) What is the theme song of your life this week? Why?
The one I wrote just then. Because it's brilliant. Only a pure creative genius could create such a masterpiece. It's amazing the the writer was able to capture exactly what I was thinking.

Ok, I'll choose another one and answer properly.

I was trying to find a video of the song to go in here, but I couldn't, so for those of you who are interested in listening to it you can go here.

I've been thinking about this song since writing the post on Valentines Day, in particular as a result of some of the comments I received. For those of you not listening to the song, here are the lyrics.





Tripod - My Humanity

Again and again
I do the wrong thing. I’m trying!
I’m doing the best I can
To do the right thing. I’m sorry, I’m trying.

Do you know
How hard it was for me
To say these things to you
To apologize
By writing a song for you.
Do you know
How much courage it took
To not talk to your face?

You see, I’m an artist
And you are not one
So you wouldn’t understand
My pain is deeper
My problems more complex
Than yours are.

Do you know
How hard it was for me
To say these things to you
In a song
So you don’t get to answer.
Do you know
How much courage it takes
To stand in front of people who love me!


And maybe,
This song will elevate me
To a God-like status
And then you will see
That people validate me
He’s vulnerable, he’s sensitive, he’s lovely.

And they’ll say...
Do you know
How hard that was for him,
He’s such a fucking champ!
Shame on you!
How could you hurt him?
And they’ll say...
He’s our lord!
How dare you question him?
And they’ll converge on you.

And shreds of your clothing will be flung skywards
As his legion of the fanatical devotees,
Their eyes bright with blind love.
Feast!

Feast, my children!
I’m so Goddamn sensitive
And in touch with my feelings
That all shall bow down to me
And despair!

And his crowd shall come together upon you
So that you disappear from view
And then he shall part them like a dark Moses of sensitivity
And then he shall float down to
The place where you once stood
And survey the wreckage
And all that shall be left of you is...
A hat

Do you know
How hard that was for him
To have you destroyed.


Understand, I couldn’t let you live
You’d become a symbol of my weakness
Of my humanity!
My humanity


And all resemblance
To the man I once was will be gone –
Encased in majestic fantasy
Surrounded by sycophantic cronies
Paralysed by fear
I will become...


A god!


A god!


A GOD

See? You replace the word "song" with the word "blog" and it's about right.. right? Okay, maybe it's a little exaggerrated. Just a little. Not much.

4) Tell us your funniest childhood memory.

I was talking about this one at work just yesterday. It's slightly embarrassing, but I can look back and laugh now. And it explains how I got one of my scars (picture below)

I used to go camping a lot with family as a kid. I didn't enjoy it, but when you're young you don't get a say in these things. I would generally pass the week away in one of two ways, either by reading a book or hanging about the camp fire. Because books are rarely known to scar, you might have already guessed this story is about fire.

One day I was sitting by the fire on my own looking at my watch and working out how many hours were left until we were heading home. I spotted a stick beside me and reached down and grabbed it, and started poking about in the fire. Eventually the stick did catch on fire and I started playing with it in the leaves in front of me. That didn't entertain me for long, so it was time to put my fire out.





I pointed it to the dirt beside me and pushed the stick down. I don't know if any of you have worn blundstone boots before, but when the wearer is sitting down there is quite a gap in them. The stick went into my boot and burned my ankle. I didn't scream, I just jumped. Some of my fellow campers saw me and had a good laugh, others didn't hear about it until later.

I don't know how well you can see the scar there. I can see it, but then I know exactly where to look and what I'm looking for. Unfortunately, it's the best picture I could get. If you can't see it, just look around the ankle, it's like a big blob there.

I just realised that's the first actual picture most of you have seen of me.

5) If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

I'm quite happy where I am now, but I had to choose anywhere else in the world to live I would choose Edinborough or Montreal. Can anyone see what these two places have in common?

I'm a big fan of stand up comedy and living just up the road from the Melbourne International Comedy festival is great. If I moved, I would want to be close to another one.

Thank you Patti Ann for the great questions. It was a blast answering them. And now if any others want to play along:


1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by giving you five questions. (I get to pick the questions.)
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

I've asked questions of some of you before, but if you want some more I'm sure I could come up with more.