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Thursday, July 23, 2009

Seven Sins in Seven Days: Wrath

Hello ScoFans!


Sin number five in the series is WRATH

Wrath (Latin, ira), also known as anger or "rage", may be described as inordinate and uncontrolled feelings of hatred and anger. These feelings can manifest as vehement denial of the truth, both to others and in the form of self-denial, impatience with the procedure of law, and the desire to seek revenge outside of the workings of the justice system (such as engaging in vigilantism) and generally wishing to do evil or harm to others.

Now we all know ScoMan is not the angry, hateful type, so I guess this post is over.
....



OR IS IT?








No, not it is not.
Because while ScoMan may be sugar and spice and all things nice, there is something evil that lurks beneath his surface. Something referred to (by ScoMan, who likes to shift the blame for his evil deeds) as "Matt"

Some of you may remember when I wanted to kill my neighbours for playing their loud music. Well that was wrong, and I realise that. But Matt doesn't.
And I'm not saying that Matt is a bad person. When he comes out to play I don't mind sitting back and enjoying the ride. It's not very often that I feel those sorts of raw emotions to that degree, so why not enjoy the experience? (so long as I don't hurt anyone I care about.) My life can be boring and mundane, so to see it through a new set of eyes for a for days every now and then gives things a well needed touch of variety.
But what makes ScoMan tick? Is there anything that makes him angry?
There is. One thing.
ScoMan. ScoMan makes ScoMan angry.
ScoMan doesn't like it when he makes a mistake. Mistakes are the same thing as failure and ScoMan does not fail. He sees himself as perfect, and in the workplace as the one everyone else turns to for help. If he can't get his own work right, how can he assist others with theirs?
So when he is less that satisfied with the results of the fruits of his labour, he does tend to get snappy with people. He knows they can see the frustration in his face, and he is sure they think he is angry with them. He doesn't correct them, he doesn't have time to find the words to apologise. The only words spinning around in his head are curse words reminding him of how pathetic he is. After all, he's been at this job long enough now, he should be able to get it right. Every time.
Variations on the truth (as in the truth has been varied to "absent") are also not uncommon when he knows he is wrong. When he knows he can't take that blow that day he will spin and weave the facts to suit the outcome. In his own head he justifies it to himself, which makes it that much easier to justify to someone else. After that, he doesn't think about it. He can't. Because if he does he won't be able to face himself in the mirror.

Forgive me ScoFans for I have sinned. Underneath it all and although I do my best to conceal it, my vision occasionally blurs red.

7 comments:

  1. I have internal rage that blasts out every now and again. It's awful and I'm mean. Most of the time, when it escapes the bounds in which I've tried to conceal it in, it's embarassing and I try to fight it. Other times, even I shrink at the possiblities and the lengths in which my anger will flow.

    Forgive me, for I have sinned. Underneath a good hearted hillbilly is an evil bitch...

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  2. That just makes you normal! The rotten things I say inside my head, often directed at my children, would probably surprise you.

    I look at it less as a sin and more a gift. The gift of keeping one's mouth shut!

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  3. Hello Scoman!

    I am going to give you the biggest hug I can manage.

    Because I love Scoman. I'm such a perfectionist myself that I feel your pain.

    I felt pathetic today when my boss knew the exact question I was about to ask him. I'm such a perfectionist that even my boss can predict me.

    Oh well, like what kathy b! said, we're human so that's normal :) just remember i love you still :)

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  4. ((hugs)) Pretty much yeah. I get that.

    I won't pretend to be a perfectionist in my work, but there are other things, like nigga please, I better get right.

    But I am slowly learning that all mistakes are part of the growing process and one cannot grow without some... let's call them growing pains. :)

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  5. i totally see tht internal rage within me. i am forever shouting at me for my mistakes. am not a perfectionist but i do like to get things right and i hate to fail.

    and am quite a negative person as well so i see things 20 times worse than they really are.which sucks but such is my life

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  6. I get like that too, Sco. I have so many things i just set myself to do, and when I don't achieve it i literally break down. and me breaking down involves rage.

    not to mention you read my blog how I am if I'm disappointed.

    You're still awesome, Sco!:)

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  7. I feel a tiny bit better about this one - dang that sloth entry and my conscience!! There is not a lot that I allow to get under my skin - and when I get angry it doesn't turn into wrath.

    I'm no angel however - I had an alcoholic partner - and felt wrath and rage with his behavior a LOT. I hated that feeling - I hated feeling that way - and maybe that's why I'm so careful to keep THIS sin out of my life.

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