Welcome everybody to my commentary


I've got so much talent, it's a little scary

Is my every random thought insightful? Very

Not just entertaining- I'm a luminary

Neil Patrick Harris- Commentary! The Musical





Showing posts with label about me. Show all posts
Showing posts with label about me. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Tagged! v 4.0

Yes, it's been a few months but I have been tagged again. This time by one of my newest pets, ChinkyGirLMeL from ChinkyMel's Corner.

What I am required to do is unleash 25 truths about myself. On top of the 10 yesterday, that makes 35 truths in two days. That is 17.5 truths each day. If this continues, by this time next year I will have told 6,387.5 truths, and I don't think I have that many.

Anyway, I am putting my own twist on this and giving my truths in a variety of different methods.

FACEBOOK STATUS'S
Facebook status's must have been true at one point or another. I will work through my last five starting with the current and going backwards. These will be my first five truths.
1. is waiting for Mr Turnbull to take away his $950. Why doesn't the single white man with no children ever get any breaks?
2. is loving K Rudd right now (if you gave me $950 I'd love you too).
3. is sweating like a pig.. not to mention looking like a pig, eating like a pig. And don't forget the smell.
4. crack corn and he is great! Take that you stupid corn!
5. is your friendly neighbourhood atheist.

THE iPOD
The next five will be the first five songs I hear on the iPod when I put it on shuffle.
1. Tool - Disgustipated
2. Tool - Jerk Off
3. Metallica- Astronomy
4. Tomahawk- Laredo
5. Puscifer- Momma Sed

THE TV VIEWING
A list of five TV shows I watch, one for each weeknight
1. The Big Bang Theory
2. Two and a Half Men
3. Criminal Minds
4. Dexter
5. The Simpsons

THE COUNTRY
Five things about my corner down under. This one will be pictures and video I think. Just to make it fun.




1- Yup, that's a real koala. A family put out water for him when he fell out of his tree due to the heat. He drank a little then bathed in it.
















2 -Referees, security personnel and would be heroes with their flares from all around the world beware- attend a sports event in Australia and you will be, at some point, a wanker.

3 A real spider eating a real bird. Taken some time late last year.

4 Some scenery from just outside my town.


5 Our Prime Minister, and what I'm pretty sure are X-Ray specs.

FIVE RANDOM FACTS
Just five random facts about my life as they pop into my head.
1- I sleep on the diagonal
2- My boss is back in the country next week after being overseas since Christmas
3- I finised the book "The Five People You Meet In Heaven" today. It took me three days to read, and if I didn't have to work I probably would have read it in one.
4- I can do incredible things with beetroot, rissoles, bread, cheese, lettuce, potatoes and a "George Foreman" grill
5- Every Easter I spend two nights at the "Melbourne International Comedy Festival"

There you go. Twenty five more truths (of sorts)

I'm supposed to tag 25 people now, but my list of Blogs I follow doesn't add up to 25.. so tag! You're all it! And you don't have to do it the way I did, it just has to be 25 Truths.

Someone told me once that there's a right and wrong
Punishment was due for those who dared to cross the line but
It must not, be true
For jerk off's just like you
Maybe it
Takes longer
To catch a
Total asshole
I'm tired of waiting
Tool - Jerk Off

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

In this post I say "fuck" ninety three times


I am fucking(1) wonderful. I won my second fucking(2) award. It made me step back for a moment and think "What the fuck(3)?", but then the fuckin(4) penny dropped that maybe some fuckers(5) out there enjoy the fuckin(6) bullshit I write on this fuckin(7) thing.

Hillbilly Duhn happens to be the fucker(8) who enjoys it enough to pass on the award. You can read her fuckin(9) stuff here. Funny as all fuck(10). Read it, and you can fuckin(11) thank me later.

As always, there's a bunch of fuckin(12) things the recipient of this award must do. First, put a picture of the fucker(13) on your blog. Well, that's the fucking(14) thing up the top there. Take a fuckin(15) gander at that would you?
Next thing the amazing fuckers(16) that recieve the "Fabulous Fucking(17)" blog award are to do, whether they fucking(18) like it or not, is to fuckin(19) list ten fuckin (20) truths about them fucking(21) selves. Let's fucking (22) begin.
1 - When I was fucking (23) about 15 I fucking(24) stopped playing fucking(25) football and fucking (26) cricket. My fucking(27) Dad stopped fucking(28) stopped talking to me like I'd fucking(29) let him down and he didn't fucking(30) talk to me a fucking(31) again until I was fucking(32) 18 and fucking(33) making something of my fucking(34) self academically.
2- I fucking (35) hate public fucking(36) speaking, but apparently I'm pretty fucking(37) good at it, even though I notice a fucking(38) nervousness and fucking(39) stuttering when I'm in the fucking(40) spotlight.
3- I only started fucking(41) working for the fucking(42) employer I'm fucking(43) working for now, because no other fucker(44) would give me a fucking(45) chance. This fucking(46) job was suppossed to be fucking(47) temporary until I fucking(48) finished University. That was four fucking(49) years ago.
4- When I was in my late fucking(50) teens and early fucking(51) twenites I was a fucking(52) asshole who only fucking(53) looked out for him fucking(54) self. Fuckers(55) loved me back then. And I fucking(56) hated the fucking(57) attention.
5- I've been to a fucking(58) WWE live show
6- I've done over $10,000 fucking(59) damage in fucking(60) car crashes
7- I fucking (61) hate being fucking(62) touched
8-I'm fucking(63) already at a fucking(64) age where I don't fucking(65) know any new music
9- After this post, I still have 25 fucking(66) truths left to share (which I'll do tomorrow).
10- Even though it fucking(67) wasn't part of the "Fabulous Fucking(68) blog" award to fucking(69) curse like a fucking(70) sailor, I thought I'd have some fucking(71) fun. Besides, it's not that fucking(72) hard for a fucking(73) Australian to fucking(74) swear. We'll fucking(75) swear at you while we give you fucking(76) directions. "Main street? Fuck(77) yeah, I know where that is. What you wanna fuckin(78) do is fuckin(79) go straight up here, take a fuckin(80) lefty at the second intersection, keep fuckin(81) goin until you hit the round about, then hang a fuckin(82) righty and you're there."
Now I have to award the "Fabulous Fucking(83) blog" award to five other fuckers(84) (and if you've already fucking(85) got it I ain't fucking(86) giving it to you again). So, in no fucking(87) order:
Yeah, the usual fucking(88) suspects (minus the fuckers(89) who already have the fucking(90) award), but just fucking(91) read those blogs.
"In this song I say fuck(92) ninety three times"
Insane Clown Posse - "Fuck(93) the world"

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Me in 20 words

I first read about this challenge at yourstruly100's blog "Everyday is a little life" (the exact post is here) The challenge is to describe yourself in just twenty words (a good thing for those of you who were sick of my rambling posts.)

The challenge hits me on two levels.
1/ I hate describing myself
2/ the aforementioned rambling

So, without further ado, my twenty words.

Cold. Warm. Considerate. Uncaring. Witty. Slow. I can't be who you want me to be, so I wear my masks.