Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2009 - The shows

Hello ScoFans!

Sorry the last post was sort of long.. and rambling. I hadn't blogged in a week and I think I got a big over excited (you should see the stuff I deleted to bring it down to what it was) Anyway, tonight I'm tired and lacking motivation, so it shouldn't be so bad.

Anyway, some highlights from the shows themselves:

Jeff Green
Poor Jeff. The audience wasn't in it that night. He kept asking us questions, and getting nothing back. But he was asking us about boating, and gardening, so what were we to do?

At the very end of the show, he started telling us about a show he'd done recently. He mentioned the name of the town "Guildford", and got his first heckle of the night. "Guildford's shit!" called out somebody from the other side of the room. That was funny to me not only because one of the only two Australian serial killers to receive life imprisonment, Ivan Milat, was born in Guildford, but also because I know somebody from there.

Jeff just reacted by going "I'm sorry, is there somebody out there? The first time I get anything from you all night and it's five minutes before the end. Did you just walk in here tonight thinking "I hope he mentions Guildford so I can tell him it's shit" Perhaps that's how I should have started the show. "Hello ladies and gentlemen.. Guildford!"

Dylan Moran
Anyone who has seen Black Books will know that Dylan Moran can go on an angry rant with the best of them. And he did that many times through his show.

The part of his show I'm going to share with you, I have chosen because it really spoke to me.. and reaffirmed my lifestyle choice.

"We have to make a lot of decisions in our life and we have to make them from a very young age. One of the most important decisions that we have to make when we're young is whether we're going to seek out a parter or choose to go it alone- which is basically a choice between being sane or not lonely"

Adam Hills
Adam did a show where he incorporated his make believe son into the show. He talked about how, as a stand up comedian he once felt he wouldn't have much to offer as a father. Then he realised he had learnt a lot of important lessons through his work and the travel he has been able to do and the people he has been able to meet.

I'm going to leave you with the same message he delivered to his son as he was finishing up the show.

"In life, you can either be an inflater or a deflater. And you can tell when you've inflated someone, because they go like this *puffs chest out and smiles* And you can tell when you've deflated someone, because they go like this *slumps shoulders and frowns*
And I think, perhaps, that if you can go through life and inflate as many people as possible, maybe when you're gone, that will be the indication of your lifes worth"
"Wow dad, did you ever tell and audience that?"
"No, I wouldn't have the guts. That's why I invented you"

Return of the Icon

When a man's heart is full of deceit

It burns up

Dies

And a dark shadow falls over his soul.

From the ashes of a once great man has risen a curse,

A wrong that must be righted.

We look to the skies for a vindicator

Someone to strike fear into the black heart of the same man who created him.

The battle between good and evil has begun.

Against an army of shadows comes the Dark Warrior

The purveyor of good

With a voice of silence

And a mission of justice.

This is Sting.

I hadn't thought about this for over 10 years. And then on Saturday, it came back to me.

I've tried hard to make a connection. I've tried, and whilst it seems I can make it happen short term, voices in my head warn me away and I find myself back where I started.

So I've turned around, and started back down the path that got me to where I am today. Walking back towards the time where I didn't need anyone, and nobody relied on me. I'm starting to feel comfortable here, and I wonder if this is the state where I will live out my days.

But do I give up the people who have seen something good in me? Am I right to turn back down the path and leave them behind? Because if I decide to turn around again, they won't be waiting for me.

I wonder if Matt has taken over, and ScoMan has disappeared. I wonder if there ever was a ScoMan. I wonder if taking back what I gave up so many years ago will make me happy. I wonder if I get to be happy.

I wonder if there is even such a thing as happiness, or if it's a bullshit emotion we're told about as we're growing up but that nobody ever experiences.

PS. Yes, I did watch wrestling growing up.

PPS. I want to dig tunnels under everyones houses so I can come up through their floors like that.

A moment of doubt

I attended a funeral earlier this year, and ended up a pallbearer for a man I hardly knew. Very few of his family attended the church, and I don't think there were any friends there at all. In all his life, this was all he had, it made me sad for him.

On the drive home I got to thinking, my funeral will be no different. Who will be the pallbearers at my funeral? I subject myself to a life of solitude because that's what works for me. I avoid dating, relationships, going out with friends.. because I just can't be bothered. And I like my quiet time, all I need is myself.

But what if 10 years from now I regret these decisions? What if I wake up one morning and regret not ever finding a girl, settling down and having a few children? What if I spend the last forty years of my life wondering... "what if"?

So say I do decide now it's time to find the one. Time to start dating, time to settle down, get married, have some kids. Say we get the white picket fence, the two cars and the family dog (no cats)... what if 10 years from now I decide I've made a mistake? What if I can't take having people around me all the time any more? What if I long for the life I have now?

The way I see it, the way I'm living my way now is the best way to go. If 10 years from now I decide I've made the wrong choices, at least my life is the only one that is destroyed.

Besides, I can always get cremated. Or wind up a John Doe discovered by a neighbour three months after I've died on my couch, with the TV blaring and a bowl of chips on my stomach.