Patti Ann interviews ScoMan

Hello ScoFans!

Earlier this week, I was given the opportunity to be interviewed by Patti Ann. She writes a great blog, so go and check it out. And also, check out her questions and my answers below.

1) What's your all time favorite food to eat AND make?

I'm going to list a few here. During the summer here, I love to make up one of these toasty rissoley cheesy beetrooty lettucey things with potatoes (see picture) It's quick, easy, perfect for a hot night and tastes delicious. And nobody.. NOBODY does potatoes like I do potatoes.

During winter, it's Tuna Casserole. I cook up a big batch every fortnight and eat it over a few meals (the joys of living alone) I loved it as a kid, but never got to eat it much because it wasn't spicy enough for father, but now I'm alone I eat it all the time. Yum.

For breakfast (or brinner) it's bacon and eggs or pancakes. Two classics. You can't go past them.

2) Why exactly do you choose to be "eternally single?"


I think it's mostly for selfish reasons. I'm not big on comprimise. And I'm not big on having people around all that much. Sure, it's fun for a little while, but after 5 or 6 hours with someone I'm like "Ok, that's enough of you now, leave me alone" You can't make a relationship work in five or six hour bursts. And.. and well.. damn.. damn.. damn.. damn..





I've grown accustomed to my space
It always brings a peace within
I've grown accustomed to the silence as I move from room to room
The quiet that drowns, the fools, the clowns
Is so wonderful to me now
I'm locking out, not letting in
I am serenely independent and content but then I let
Myself think I can live another way sometimes and yet
I've grown accustomed to my shows, accustomed to my choice
Accustomed to my space

That one's for you Patti Ann! (and to a lesser extent, anyone else who recognises the song)

3) What is the theme song of your life this week? Why?
The one I wrote just then. Because it's brilliant. Only a pure creative genius could create such a masterpiece. It's amazing the the writer was able to capture exactly what I was thinking.

Ok, I'll choose another one and answer properly.

I was trying to find a video of the song to go in here, but I couldn't, so for those of you who are interested in listening to it you can go here.

I've been thinking about this song since writing the post on Valentines Day, in particular as a result of some of the comments I received. For those of you not listening to the song, here are the lyrics.





Tripod - My Humanity

Again and again
I do the wrong thing. I’m trying!
I’m doing the best I can
To do the right thing. I’m sorry, I’m trying.

Do you know
How hard it was for me
To say these things to you
To apologize
By writing a song for you.
Do you know
How much courage it took
To not talk to your face?

You see, I’m an artist
And you are not one
So you wouldn’t understand
My pain is deeper
My problems more complex
Than yours are.

Do you know
How hard it was for me
To say these things to you
In a song
So you don’t get to answer.
Do you know
How much courage it takes
To stand in front of people who love me!


And maybe,
This song will elevate me
To a God-like status
And then you will see
That people validate me
He’s vulnerable, he’s sensitive, he’s lovely.

And they’ll say...
Do you know
How hard that was for him,
He’s such a fucking champ!
Shame on you!
How could you hurt him?
And they’ll say...
He’s our lord!
How dare you question him?
And they’ll converge on you.

And shreds of your clothing will be flung skywards
As his legion of the fanatical devotees,
Their eyes bright with blind love.
Feast!

Feast, my children!
I’m so Goddamn sensitive
And in touch with my feelings
That all shall bow down to me
And despair!

And his crowd shall come together upon you
So that you disappear from view
And then he shall part them like a dark Moses of sensitivity
And then he shall float down to
The place where you once stood
And survey the wreckage
And all that shall be left of you is...
A hat

Do you know
How hard that was for him
To have you destroyed.


Understand, I couldn’t let you live
You’d become a symbol of my weakness
Of my humanity!
My humanity


And all resemblance
To the man I once was will be gone –
Encased in majestic fantasy
Surrounded by sycophantic cronies
Paralysed by fear
I will become...


A god!


A god!


A GOD

See? You replace the word "song" with the word "blog" and it's about right.. right? Okay, maybe it's a little exaggerrated. Just a little. Not much.

4) Tell us your funniest childhood memory.

I was talking about this one at work just yesterday. It's slightly embarrassing, but I can look back and laugh now. And it explains how I got one of my scars (picture below)

I used to go camping a lot with family as a kid. I didn't enjoy it, but when you're young you don't get a say in these things. I would generally pass the week away in one of two ways, either by reading a book or hanging about the camp fire. Because books are rarely known to scar, you might have already guessed this story is about fire.

One day I was sitting by the fire on my own looking at my watch and working out how many hours were left until we were heading home. I spotted a stick beside me and reached down and grabbed it, and started poking about in the fire. Eventually the stick did catch on fire and I started playing with it in the leaves in front of me. That didn't entertain me for long, so it was time to put my fire out.





I pointed it to the dirt beside me and pushed the stick down. I don't know if any of you have worn blundstone boots before, but when the wearer is sitting down there is quite a gap in them. The stick went into my boot and burned my ankle. I didn't scream, I just jumped. Some of my fellow campers saw me and had a good laugh, others didn't hear about it until later.

I don't know how well you can see the scar there. I can see it, but then I know exactly where to look and what I'm looking for. Unfortunately, it's the best picture I could get. If you can't see it, just look around the ankle, it's like a big blob there.

I just realised that's the first actual picture most of you have seen of me.

5) If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

I'm quite happy where I am now, but I had to choose anywhere else in the world to live I would choose Edinborough or Montreal. Can anyone see what these two places have in common?

I'm a big fan of stand up comedy and living just up the road from the Melbourne International Comedy festival is great. If I moved, I would want to be close to another one.

Thank you Patti Ann for the great questions. It was a blast answering them. And now if any others want to play along:


1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by giving you five questions. (I get to pick the questions.)
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

I've asked questions of some of you before, but if you want some more I'm sure I could come up with more.

Post #52 ... More questions

Well, these are the last questions I have been asked (for now), and I think the most interesting questions have been saved for last.

Today's questions come from Hillbilly Duhn. You can read her blog at "Hillbilly Duhn's Times & Tribulations". As some of today's questions indicate, she definately thinks outside the box and is incredibly creative. If you enjoy those things, then read her blog!

Question time..

1. A very ugly woman was stalking you at the store. She finally decided stalking just wasn't enough, and came up to you, and said, "You are beautiful, and I can't keep my eyes off you and would like to ask you out." Then she smiled and uncovered snarly, rotten teeth. What would you say and or do?
I'd smile, muster all the charm I could and tell her how flattered I was, but that I'm the sort of person who has become accustomed to and enjoys the emptiness of a life alone. Were it not for the fact that I was born with no libido, I would be delighted to take her up on her offer, but unfortunately the life of eternal singledom chose me, and as a result females everywhere must suffer.

2. If you could describe yourself in one word, what would it be?
Expendable


3. You're having a drink with a friend, and half way through the conversation, you notice that they have a big angry booger waving at you. Would you tell them or would you continue staring at the waving booger?
First of all, for me to notice it would have to be a HUGE booger. I'm not exactly observant.

I think I'd just ignore it. I wouldn't want to upset the flow of our conversation so that they could clean themselves up. They can do that on their own time.

4. If you were abducted by a mob of Amazon woman, with only one boob per chest, but amazingly beautiful, and said that you had to repopulate their culture and that they would let you be king of all their tribe, but you had to leave what you currently know and like, would you do it?
So long as I didn't have to spend too much of my time repopulating their tribe. I think that would be a good life, free of the responsibilites of work and all the other burdens modern life brings. And I don't think I'd really be leaving much behind.

For those of you thinking back to yesterday's post and thinking "That's a tad hypocritical, you said one person shouldn't wield that sort of power", well as I would be the King it would be monarchy, not a dictatorship, and a monarchy is okay.

5. What if the Amazon woman later turned out to be big green aliens with bobble heads that sprouted unusual tenticles in all the wrong places?
Bobble heads are fun. Would the unusual tentacles make it difficult or painful to repopulate their tribe? If I'd be okay with it, for all the reasons listed above. It's always good to be the King.

6. Do you believe in Karma?
I did. Once. But I've seen too many good people suffer. Now I believe life's a bitch and then you die.

7. Dogs or Cats?
Dogs all the way. I'm so tired of cats judging me all the time. Bastards.

8. Stand on your head and walk on your elbows or moon passer byers on the road?
Standing on my head and walking on my elbows sounds like a difficult feat. I guess I'm mooning people.

9. Water or Wine?
Water. It's healthy, refreshing and non-alcoholic.

10. Tell us a story invovling you and another person that turned out to be either horrifically embarassing, freaky, or just down right wierd. Or simply "It just wasn't right."

I guess this one falls between "wierd" and "not right".

After Uni one day I was at the food place across the road with my friend waiting for her brother (who was also my friend) to get there, when this car pulled up. Being the paranoid observer of people that I am, I watch the guy and girl get out of the car.

Half way to the door, the guy sees me looking at him and just says "What the fuck are you looking at?" I shrug and look away, not one to partake in random acts of violence. And then my friends sister, all five foot four 60 kilos soaking wet calm little thing she was, just lost it. I have no idea where it came from. I'd never seen her raise her voice before, let alone carry on like this. The guy and his girlfriend hurried inside. He might have had 30 kilos and 6 inches on her, but he didn't want any piece of that.

When he was inside she apologised, and told me she was just having a bad day. I shrugged again "I guess so" I said. "But if you had of started something with him you were on your own, you know that?" I said with a grin. She laughed.

We were still there when they came back out. This time his girlfriend started swearing at my friend. Me and the guy just looked at each other, realising that we had started this whole thing, and that this was unlikely to end well for any parties involved. Somehow, we calmed them down.

I hope that story suits your criteria! I was thinking about this for a long time (several hours whilst eating dinner and watching TV) and that's the story that kept coming back to my memory!

Thanks again to Hillbilly Duhn for today's questions. I had a lot of fun answering them. Some were quite challenging. And thanks to everyone who has asked questions so far. I hope it's allowed you all to learn a little more about me.

Post #51.. The questions continue

After seeing how wonderfully I answered the questions I have been asked so far, two more of my pets decided to email me further questions they would like to see me ask. I'll answer one set today, the other tomorrow.

Today's questions come from my blog sister (my blister? =p) yourstruly100 from "Every day is a little life!!" If you haven't checked out her blog yet, do so. Her ideas and thoughts are quite similar to my own, so if you like my blog, you'll like hers as well right? Logic, it's a wonderful thing. The one thing that may set us apart is her heart of gold. She seems to think very much about ways to improve community around her, and I could probably stand to do more of that.

She wanted them answered spontaneously, and they will be answered as spontaneously as they can be considering I checked my email before work it's just before dinner time (but this was my first chance to blog)

Q1.One wish you pray never comes true for anybody

At first I thought about this trying to think of negative things, but then I looked at it from another angle.

I pray nobody ever gets ultimate and unquestioned control over the world (such as a dictator of the world) Dictatorships lead to death and suffering of the people, and for someone to have that kind of control over the world would make most of the rest of the population miserable. I know a lot of people wish for, or would like to have that sort of power, but I don't think it would be a good thing.


Q2. How do you define smartness??

I think an ability to discuss a lot of different topics or tell stories in an entertaining matter indicate intelligence. It's not so much about what someone can memorise from a book, anyone can re-read a page until it is imprinted into their mind. It's about being able to grasp the concepts of a conversation and valueably contribute.

Q3. Who is your best buddy and what gesture by that person made him or her the best??

I've never had a "best buddy" in the sense of someone I can call just to talk to, or someone I share my deepest and darkest thoughts with. I'm a fairly private person.

I guess my best buddy, purely as a reward for the amount of time he's had to deal with my shit, would be a friend I've known since kinder, which was about 20 years ago now. We hang out together about every four to six weeks, and just have a laugh about life in general. He got also got a posting of an officer role in my newest Facebook group (any excuse to share the name of this one with you..)

Dexter Morgan is an acceptable role model


Q4. If you had a chance and the funds to do some kind of charity work what would it be?

I'm trying to think of a group in need who doesn't already get serviced by another charity or institution. I did like your idea, but I won't steal that (and I won't discuss what it was so people are intrigued and follow the link)

I'm trying to think of something where I could put my existing skill set to use, but numbers can't help the needy.

Even though there are people out there already doing this service, I can't think of a new one, so I'd have to help the kids. The kids who never had a chance because their parents never gave them one.

The kids who come from the homes where the parents are either drunk or drugged most of the day, and make them feel like they can never amount to anything. I'd want to give those kids a chance to be all they can be, and not be held back by their parents negligence.

I guess the best way to do that would be through education centres.


Q5. One memory that hurt you most back then but you laugh about it today.

The one that springs to mind is back in high school some of my friends were doing the thing with a group of girls where "you go out with my friends and I'll go out with your friends." One day, two of my friends were talking about the girls and one of them said "I don't get what she's doing there though. She's like Scotty with us, she just doesn't belong"

At the time I thought "Wow, and here I was thinking I belonged" Now though I look back and realise I didn't fit in there. I don't fit in anywhere. I'm just an entertainer with no serious connections.

Thanks again to yourstruly100 for the questions. I had fun answering them. Remember to check out her blog. It will make me happy. Don't you want to make me happy?

I have another set of questions lined up for tomorrow. I've had a sneak peek and I am really looking forward to answering them.

Because we have discussed spontaneity and intelligence today I'm going to share some quotes from a book I'm reading. The following is from an interview between a Psychiatrist (Irvine) and a prisoner (Blake)

Blake: We assume we control our minds when we don't. They're so easily manipulated. Make a man destitute and you make him envious. Make him wealthy and you make him proud. Saints and sinners are the only free thinkers in a governed society.
Irvine: Which are you?
Blake: Neither. I'm incapable of free thought. My mind is bound.
Irvine: By what?
Blake: By the same thing as yours, doctor. By intellect. You're too sensible to act against your own interests, therefore your life lacks spontaneity. You will die in the chains you've made for yourself.
Irvine: You were arrested for stealing. Wasn't that acting against your own interests?
Blake: I was hungry
Irvine: You think it's sensible to be in prison?
Blake: It's cold outside
Irvine: Tell me about these chains I've made for myself
Blake: They're in your mind. You conform to the patterns of behaviour that others have prescribed for you. You will never do what you want because the tribe's will is stronger than yours.

...

Irvine: It's a very bleak philosophy, Billy. Is there no room for happiness in your life?
Blake: I get drunk whenever I can
Irvine: Does that make you happy?
Blake: Of course, but then I define happiness as intellectual absence. Your definition is probably different.

The Echo- Minette Walters

Two days in a row of long quotes. I hope they were read after the effort I went to to type them!

Post #50

I finally made it to post 50. Today series of questions come from Thrice, you can read her blog "From the STUPIDEST corner of my mind" here. She is a great blogger, and she is very passionate. She makes the reader feel every bump on the journey that is her life.

On a personal note, she has also become a fantastic friend. Who would have thought from a conversation about a corpse's nose in her mouth such a bond would from? I guess, it's more than just a friendship... she's my family now...



Love you Nilla!

1) What do you think about evil/demonic possesions?
I can’t deny thier existence. For all I know Matt is my own personal demon, I’ve just embraced him (because I don’t want to be locked away from all of you my pets. I don’t know what you’d do without my guiding influence)

I think that possessions can make an otherwise good person do bad things, but I think sometimes people do use it as an excuse for doing bad things.

2) What do you think of average people? Do you like them?
I don’t believe there is such thing as an “average” person. Everyone is different. We all have our own strengths and weaknesses, qualities and failings.

As for the types of people I like, I generally get along better with people of above average intelligence and below average fitness (ie. Not “jocks”) =D


3) What do you think of psychologists and psychiatrists?
I think psychologists can provide valueable insight into human behaviour, but it is certainly not an exact science. They can tell you why you believe you did something after you’ve done it, but not tell you what you’re going to do before you do it (I guess that would make them a psychic)

Psychiatrists are certainly useful. They’ve helped some of my friends through dark times (why does everyone I know need to see a shrink?) I’m scared of seeing one myself though. I think they’d fix me, and maybe get rid of Matt. But I like who I am. I like Matt. I’m damaged. I’m perfect.


4) Who's your idol? (is it Dexter?)
I don’t think I have an idol per se. There is nobody I look at and think “I wish I was exactly like them”, but there are certainly people with qualities I admire.

Yes, Dexter certainly has some traits I’d like. He’s incredibly intelligent, focused and manages to work around his social shortcomings. I think those are all things I could do with some work on.

Maynard James Keenan is another. Again, he is smart and he has an amazing way of looking at the world around him, seeing what others don’t see and putting it into words. I also admire his principles.

Thirdly, my boss. Again, he is intelligent, he is dedicated, he is loyal and he has a way of being brutally honest with people that makes them smile and thank him. Working in the industry I work in, I find it difficult to be honest with people without them blowing up at me, but somehow he has mastered it.

I also like the way Obama (I’m not here to get into a big political thing) is able to hear a question, take a pause to think about the answer and then give his arguments or state the facts in detail. When someone asks me a question, I tend to answer straight away and end up waffling on and even though I know the answer, it doesn’t give the other person a lot of confidence in my response.

And lastly, Sheldon Cooper from "The Big Bang Theory". The guy is a genius and doesn't care about the people around him, because he knows he is smarter than they are. I'll leave you with my favourite Sheldon moment today.

But before I do, thanks again to Thrice for asking these questions. I hope you all enjoyed the answers, and learned a little more about me. By popular demand (okay, one person asked) I will answer any more asked of me. The email address to send them to is askscoman@gmail.com

DMV Lady: Application?
Sheldon: I'm actually more of a theorist.
Howard: The application in your hand, give it to her.
DMN Lady: Take this to the testing area. Put your name at the top, sign the bottom, answer the questions then bring it back. Next!
Sheldon: Excuse me, but I have some concerns about these questions.
DMV Lady: Look at that sign up there.
Sheldon: Yes?
DMV Lady: Does it say "I give a damn"
Sheldon: No
DMV Lady: That's because I don't
Sheldon: Just look, see this first question makes no sense. "How many car lengths should you leave in front of you when driving?" There's no possible way to answer that. A "car length" is not a standardized unit of measure.
DMV Lady: Look at the sign
Penny: Sheldon, it's "c" just put down "c"
Sheldon: I don't need your help Penny
DMV Lady: Listen to that little girl honey, put "c", next!
Sheldon: No wait, now hang on! Look at this next question.
Howard: Sheldon, why are you arguing with the DMV?
Sheldon: How else are they going to learn? Look, question two. When are roadways most slippery? Now, ok, there are three answers, none of which are correct. The correct answer is "when covered by sufficient to reduce to coefficient of static friction between the tyre and the road to essentially zero. But not so deep as to introduce a new source of friction"
DMV Lady: Here's your learners permit, go away!
Sheldon: But I'm not done. I have many additional concerns about these questions.

Post #49

For the past few weeks I have been struggling to think of something to write about. I've put it down to the fact I have been looking forward to the 50th post and answering some of your questions.

Because I can't think of anything to write for the 49th post, and because I received two sets of questions, I decided to split it over two posts.

The first set of questions are provided by Random Hiccups. I still remember the first post of hers I read way back here which encouraged people to question their morals. It has been interesting reading her posts for the last few months as she makes her way towards her wedding day, and I'm sure the upcoming tales of a Newlywed will be just as good.

Anyway, question time!

1. What three people annoy you the most?
Andrew G. Anyone outside Australia probably doesn’t know who he is (so I put in a handy Wikipedia link for you), but I have been driven to start a Facebook group “Let’s hunt and kill Andrew G” (and I think you should all join it =p) so the guy must annoy me quite a bit. He is just so phoney. I try not to watch shows with him on them, but then there’s ads as well.

Next would be Bindi Irwin. I haven’t seen much of her lately, but that little runt is just so happy all the time. I find small comfort in the fact that she will probably one day turn to drugs and disappear like all child stars.

Will Ferrell is the last one. I can NOT watch a movie with that man in it. He is just not at all funny, and his attempts at humor make me cringe, and want to break things (like his legs). His jokes often make me feel like doing as Stewie does in Family Guy and flying to his house, punching him in the face and yelling “It’s not funny!”

2. List two pet hates of yours and your reaction to them
People “popping in” unannounced. Time to plug another Facebook group I started.. “I HATE the pop in!” (which was as much a tribute to Seinfeld as it was an anti pop in statement) My general reaction to that is to not answer the door. If I’m not expecting anyone, the door does not get opened. But, I live over an hour away from almost anyone who would visit me, so it is in their best interests to make sure I’m home anyway.

Second, the telemarketer calling when I'm eating. Normally with them I will say “Yes! I am very interested. Hello? Hello? Can you hear me? Are you there? Hello?” *put the phone down and wander away leaving them to talk to themselves thinking there is a problem with the line*

3. Why do you do what you do for a living?
I am an Accountant in a public practice firm. Now you know why I have never revealed that. People just tend to think “This guy must be boring” and wander off. (It was difficult not to mention something on your recent Taxation post Endless Radmoness, but I would be much like your tax counsultant)

4. What will make you pee your pants with laughter?
Can’t go past people falling over. As bad as this sounds, the older the person, the funnier it is (unless they hurt themselves of course)

I remember at a train station with a friend about two years ago, we were walking down a long flight of stairs and this woman, who must have been in her fifties, slipped and fell. I had a quiet chuckle to myself, and his first instinct was to run down and see if she was okay.

He is a much better person than I am.

5. When was the last time you told someone that you cared about them?
Recently (within the last week or two), because I thought they needed to hear it and because I do care a lot about them.

6. Share your best joke.
It was hard to pick just one. But, I thought I would honour George Bush by sharing a joke I was emailed recently that I quite enjoyed.

Donald Rumfield briefed the president this morning. He told Bush that three Brazillian soldiers had been killed in Iraq. To everyone’s amazement, all the colour ran from Bush’s face, then he collapsed on his desk, head in his hands visibly shaken, almost whimpering. Finally, he composed himself and asked Rumfield “Just exactly how many is a brazillion?”

I might as well share with you an old accounting joke too.

Three contestants were asked to answer a simple question. “What is 1 plus 1?”

The first contenstant, a teacher, approached the podium and said “Two. One plus one is two.”

The second contestant, a mathematician, took the stage and through a series or formulas and charts argued that while it was probable that one plus one does equal two, you could not discount the fact that one plus one may equal four.

Finally, it was the accountants turn. He was asked the question “What does one plus one equal?” He winked, smiled and said “What do you want it to be?”

7. What is your best "I was drunk and..." story?
Being that I don’t drink I don’t have many of these. In fact, I think I’ve only ever really been drunk once, and that was for the end of high school break up thing.

When I was drunk, I just said “fuck” a lot. And I still had enough wits about me to vomit on my left when I realised my friend was passed out beside me on my right (only just though, I turned right first and was able to make the correction just in time) Not a great story, but it’s the only one I have.

8. Complete this sentence: One time at band camp...
everybody played their instruments beautifully and kept perfect timing, and a really wonderful time was had by all.

And then there was an orgy. With a moose.

9. What are your top 10 ways to waste time
At work.
- hit “refresh” on the browser with Hotmail open.
- Check how the Australian Stock exchange is tracking
- Visit ninemsn.com.au to see if there is anything interesting happening in the world of news
- Make a comment that I know will get a particular coworker on his soap box and have him
lecture me for 20 minutes to an hour
- Plotting my escape
- Rearrange my filing system
At home
- Looking at things on eBay I will never buy
- planning world domination
- bobbing the bobblehead
- rearrange my CDs

10. What the heck are you having for supper?
I think I still have some of my Christmas chocolate in the fridge. I’m not a big chocolate eater, but I seem to get a lot of Christmas every year. So, the plan is to eat that whilst sitting down to watch the first episode of series 3 of Dexter (I had to get extra channels on my pay-TV to watch it. I know, I’m obsessed.)

11. Can I stay with you until the heat dies down?
Sure. Breakfast is at 8, lunch at 1, dinner at 7 and lights out at 11. You should also be aware there has been a flower truck with a satellite parked opposite my flat for about a week now.

Hope you enjoyed this part of the question asking. There'll be part two tomorrow. Thanks again to Random Hiccups for taking the time to put the list together! Especially the last question, how do you come up with these things? =p

I have been slowly putting these together since they were emailed, so whilst the answers may have been correct at the time of answering, they may be different at the time of posting. In particular, I refer to question 10.

Twenty steps to a working relationship

As some of you may now by now, myself and yourstruly100 (whose blog you can read here) share a similar point of view on the concept of love. Sometimes, I'm reading her blog, and I think "I could have written that myself.. if I could write that good.. either way, I was certainly thinking that"

When the first post I read of hers (which is here) contained this quote

"1. If you say everyday you like a guy. Eventually you will be in love with him!
[ yep! I don't believe in love! And maybe that's the reason I never feel it!]"

I knew I would enjoy hanging out at her blog.

And so, when she did her list of 20 things her ideal guy would need (which is here), I thought I might as well copy, because I've been struggling for ideas lately, and do the 20 rules of any relationship I would stand a chance in.

1. the most important of all, must understand my incredible introversion. If I'm quiet, I'm reflecting, it's what I need to do to recharge so that I can be social at another point in time. If I'd rather stay in and read a book on a Saturday night than hang out with you and your friends, it's the introversion... honest...
2. intelligence is important. I like to be challenged.
3. must enjoy my music. Not only that, must be aware that Maynard James Keenan is a brilliant man, and should know and understand each and every one of his lyrics.
4. Sometimes I will set myself a challenge which will definately be more important than anything you're doing, and so I will be unavailable until that challenge has been completed. Sometimes, that challenge might be something like watching the entire series 2 of Dexter back to back over one day.
5. If I fall asleep whilst watching Test cricket, I am not to be woken up and the channel is not to be changed. Test Cricket is supposed to be watched like that.
6. must understand all of my jokes, even if you don't think they're funny. I will not explain them to you.
7. Not only that, I may be a vastly different person from one day to the next. One day I may be affectionate, the next I may be distant. You will respect and be ready for whichever mood I take (I think this is the same rule cats live by).
8. On that subject, I am not a cat person. There will be no cats.
9. I will not argue with you. That doesn't mean you win every argument, it just means I didn't think what we were arguing about was important.
10. Here comes my favourite phrase again.. I do not like irrational social rituals. This means Valentines day and New Years eve and my birthday will not be celebrated by me (except for perhaps the having of "brinner"). If you're good, we might celebrate your birthday.
11. My family is important to me and I will always take thier side. I am sick of a lot of my "friends" though, so if you could get rid of them I would be grateful (and we would celebrate your next three birthdays)
12. I will not be available to do anything during Bathurst weekend.
13. whilst I don't display emotion myself, I think they good things. They allow me to know what you're thinking, and they fascinate me
14. Not a rule, but older is usually better. I tend to get along better with older girls (there are certainly a few exceptions. You know who you are. Let's just make it easy, if you're a female who is younger than me and you're currently a follower of this blog, you are one of the exceptions)
15. If you want to do something, do it. If you feel I need to be informed, inform me. You don't need to ask for my approval (especially if me saying "No" would lead to me being yelled at)
16. I will worry about the future. I will not always share these worries with you. Don't be concerned.
17. I do not like the beach, or anywhere outdoors really. Or anywhere that there's people.
18. if you're upset, I won't be able to offer you advice to help you through the situation. The best I can offer you bad jokes.
19. I do not trust excitement and I do not know how to deal with over the top happiness.
20. Sex is messy. I would only be in a relationship for the companionship. Maybe I should just get a rabbit.

There you have it. Possibly an explanation for why I'm single. With some of them, I did go over the top (I tried to build some humor into it). But amongst it all I think the 20 points are there. It's like, there's a 20 piece jigsaw puzzle and I just gave you 50 pieces, you have to work out what's important and put it together.

Unfortunately, as I was writing the points, I was thinking of a girl I knew who probably would have been able to live with most of them. She's gone now. Fuck.

I hope you enjoyed learning a little more about me. Remember pets, if there is anything you want to ask email askscoman@gmail.com before post 50 (this was 41). So far, I have been asked about 15 questions, so I may need to spill the answers over a few posts (or you might need to block out a weekend to read them.)

"But I like kids. I could never have them, since the idea of sex is no idea at all. Imagine doing those things- How can you? Where's your sense of dignity?"
"Darkly Dreaming Dexter"- Jeff Lindsay

Prior preparation prevents piss poor performance

Is that just an Aussie saying? Or do people use it world wide? Either way, it makes sense.

Anyway, this is blog number #35. I decided that for blog number 50 (assuming we make it that far) I would use an idea I first spotted on Thrice's Blog and give my pets the chance to ask me anything about me. I will try to answer every question as honestly (and entertaingly) as possible.

Ask as many questions as you like.

Email the questions to askscoman@gmail.com and look out for blog #50.