ScoMan's second day of giving

Hello ScoFans!

Well, it's ScoMan's second day of the giving season and today I'm giving away this little treat.


Just as well I got it in now because in 10 days that baby goes out of date.

This one was given to me by the girls over at Life Laugh Latte. They do a lot of fun vlogs about.. well just about life in general. The different little things that make it up and that you have to take the time to enjoy. The few of you who don't already follow them, head over and give them a look.

This one didn't come with any rules but Sameera tagged me to tell 7 truths about myself. Things that nobody knows. Well, that's hard, but I'll try anyway.

1- This is one that some of you would have seen and assumed, but now I'm going to make it certain in your minds and share it with the rest of my readers.

I think this is funny. Nobody else agrees.

When you're playing "Words with Friends" on your iPhone and you put in the word "Quo", the game tells you that's not a real word. But without "Quo", then the status quo wouldn't exist, and if we don't' have the status quo, what do we have?

2- I just watched "The Middle" for the first time. The tag said nothing about being interesting, it just said I had to tell truths about me that nobody knows. Nobody knew that.

3- It makes me sick when people don't shave properly and there's just one random hair out on it's own. I just.. stare at it.. and my stomach gets all funny.

4- I hate it when people whistle. The sound just drives me crazy. And really, what does it achieve? What is it's purpose? If you're whistling along with a song then whatever, but to just whistle for no reason? Seriously, shut up.

5- I planned on seeing The Dark Knight until Heath Ledger died. Then I boycotted it because I hated all the people who saw it just because Heath Ledger died, and there was the big fuss about it.

6- I'm only doing these awards and tags because I have no motivation to write much else

7- I usually leave anything with "TMI Thursday" in the heading sitting in my reader until I've read everything else. Not because I'm saving the best for last.

Anyway, time to pass this award on to some people who can choose whether or not they want to do the 7 truths..

Two Facebook Friends
And an American Girl in Australia

Until tomorrow (Assuming I can keep up this pace)

Reattaching my nose

"One last thing before I quit
I never wanted any more than I could fit

Into my head
I still remember every single word you said
And all the shit
That somehow came along with it
Still there's one thing that comforts me
Since I was always caged and now I'm free"
Foo Fighters- Monkey Wrench

Hello ScoFans!

Did you miss me? I missed all of you.

I've decided it was time to make a return to the world of blogging. Why? Well, because Daisy is wise, that's why. I was telling her how much I missed blogging and she pointed out to me that I should not cut off my nose to spite my face. This wasn't supposed to be about punishing me, and so I am ending my suffering.

But what about your punishment? Well, the way I figure it, you've all been punished.

Those of you that loved me will have felt bad I was gone.

Those of you who were relieved I left will be sad to see me return.

Those of you who stopped following me can go and fuck a lampost.

And I'm not going to comment on any blogs that occurred between when I wrote the last one, and the writing of this one, but I will be commenting again going forwards.

Some things have changed around here. There is a new song for starters. I owe that all to Facebook and it's "Which is the theme song of your life?" quiz.

ScoMan took the What is the theme song of ur life??? quiz and the result is "Learn To Fly" by Foo Fighters

The Lost-Soul-Trying-To-Find-My-Way type. You have been on a path, but don't know where you're going, or where you want to go. "And I'm looking to the sky to save me Looking for a sign of life Looking for something to help me burn out bright" Only you can find the way to go.. so nows the time to find it in your heart what you want and learn to fly without any assistance!

I read that and thought "Yeah, that sounds about right. And it's an awesome song, and right now I do think I need a devil to help me get things right" and not only is it the song on my blog, but my ringtone as well. Foo Fighters are taking over, but that's not necessarily a bad thing.

And while we're speaking of music, for those of you who are interested on which songs are and aren't on my iPod (it's actually changed since way back then) here we go..

Cole Porter- Anything Goes
Not on the iPod. It's an awesome song, I just haven't got around to downloading it.

Godsmack- I Stand Alone
Another one not on the iPod. It usually is, but during that brief period it wasn't. Thrown in as a red herring.

Waterproof Blonde- Just Close Your Eyes
On the iPod. One of my favourite songs ever.

Men At Work- Land Down Under
Not on the iPod. Just threw it in to see if people would go "You're Australian, of course you love that song"

Eminem- Lose Yourself
Not on the iPod. It was the only song on my iPod for about three weeks so I could get the lip syncing right. With all the walking I do that's over 20 hours of listening to it in a three weeke period. I needed a break.

Frank Sinatra- My Way
On the iPod. I do everything My Way.

Babylon Zoo- Spaceman
On the iPod. I love this song. I think I could listen to this for 20 hours in a three week period and not get sick of it. Actually, I've probably done that in the past.

Kermit the Frog- Rainbow Connection
On the iPod.

Creed- With Arms Wide Open
Not on the iPod. But I do love this literal version (which I found thanks to miss rambles)

I also have another result from a Facebook quiz I would like to share with any of you that are left.

ScoMan completed the quiz "What drug are you most like?" with the result Acid.

You are Acid. Definitely very conventional and very predictable- you probably own a minivan and beige slacks. Just playing, you weren't expecting that now, were you? Or maybe you were... you never know with someone like you. You're vibrant, creative and well, insane. Your perception of reality differs from everyone else. Your relationship with the world is very love/hate. Not everyone understands you, which isn't surprising because you don't even always understand yourself. But there are times were you've figured

I guess that's all for this week. The important thing to know is I'm back. I'll be blogging on a weekly schedule, and I'll start reading your posts (any that are posted after this one) again tomorrow night.

Oh.. did I forget a song earlier?

Anastacia- Left Outside Alone
On the iPod. I know some of you will be disgusted with that, but the line "Living in a fairytale without meaning" really speaks to me. I think it sums up my life pretty well.

I'm happy. I've never had to struggle or work to hard for anything, stuff just seems to fall at my feet. That's the fairytale..

..but then I've never accomplished anything. I've never made a lasting mark in anyones life. I'm mediocre at my job, and I am by no means dedicated to it. I've never found love. I've never been loved. After 100.96 posts..

.. I'm still just a name in your recollection..

"Some people think they gonna die someday
I got news, ya never got to go"

Ted Nugent- Stranglehold

One Lucky Lady

Hello ScoFans!

The results of the first "Which blog would you like to read next?" poll are in, have been double checked, and as you can see the winner by a landslide (do I even need to be building the suspense? You can see the image.. and also you clicked on the title of the blog to get here) is "One Lucky Lady"

A week since my last post. I think I can manage this "one post a week" deal. I sit here now refreshed and ready to deliver my best, which I'm pleased with. I don't like to do anything unless I feel I can give it everything I have.

This week I have started a tweet-filled life on twitter. I've been searching your blogs for links to your twitter pages and adding anyone I can find. For anyone who would like to follow me, I have added a link on the right hand side of the page.

Also this week my peep "the girl in the stiletto" awarded me the Lemonade Award (as well as coming up with the term "sco-some", which just quietly I think will hold a place in every dictionary in a few years), and both of those things bought a smile to my face. Thank you again!

But I'm feeling very lazy and have had the award before, so I'll just link back to last time I received it.

And now for the feature presentation...

A few weeks ago I mentioned a proposal, and I wonder if that's what the people who voted on this blog thought they were getting, a story about a proposal. Well, I hope that's what they thought they were getting, because that's exactly what they're going to get (and so are the rest of you, whether you like it or not).

I signed in to Facebook one day a few weeks ago, and, as always, started by scanning through peoples recent status updates. Near the bottom of the page I came across one that stopped me in my tracks.

April thought she would have been legally divorced at least once by now. Divorcing sauvignon blanc does not count.

Not knowing what "Sauvignon Blanc" is (but assuming it's some sort of alcohol) I stared at the status for awhile. Most people might have had a little smile to themselves about it. Some might have even left a humorous reply underneath. But not me. No, I have a heightened sense of empathy and I realised this was a friend in need. So, after sleeping on it (this is a big decision you know), I sent her this message the following day..

If it's THAT important to you...
Between April and ScoMan

ScoMan
April 20 at 1:27pm
Well, after reading your status's yesterday and seeing you thought you'd have been divorced by now, I will offer you the same service Jason Alexander provided to Britney Spears.

We can go to a court somewhere, get married and then wander down the hall and file for divorce. We'll say there were irreconcilable differences.

We walked out of the court, you thought the car was parked to the left, I thought it was parked to the right, so we decided to go our seperate ways. We take a key each and whoever gets the car gets the glory (at least, that's the story we'll give to the court)

What do I have to gain from our arrangement?

When my niece is old enough to talk I get to have this conversation.

"Why aren't you married?"

"I was once, it was horrible"

"Why?"

"She made me walk home"

"Why?"

"Because I forgot where we parked and she didn't"

I've been giggling to myself about my amazing wit since yesterday. I just had to share.

See? Somewhere in there I suggested we get married. Technically that's a proposal, right?

Anyway, I wasn't sure how she would react to that. We're haven't been the closest friends these past few years, only having the occasional conversation. I had no idea where her sense of humor was at. I waited the rest of that day for a reply and got nothing.

I signed in the next morning when I got to work, expecting to see something but still there was nothing. I thought to myself "Well, I guess her sense of humor is gone" and promptly forgot about the whole thing.

Then, a few nights later we had an IM conversation....

ScoMan says (7:53 PM):
hello
April says (7:53 PM):
Hello there
I was just about to send you a message on Bookface
ScoMan says (7:54 PM):
oh were you? i don't use that so much any more.. people i generally avoid but have an obligation to be nice to added me as friends.. so if i don't go there, they can't find me
April says (7:55 PM):
I was going to respond to your email about our impending divorce, hehe
ScoMan says (7:55 PM):
did you like the idea?
April says (7:55 PM):
I thought it was fabulous!
ScoMan says (7:55 PM):
awesome
April says (7:56 PM):
Hey, I'm about to paint my nails while watching Bondi Vet with Peggy... I'll be back in about 30 mins if you're still here....
ScoMan says (7:57 PM):
i'll be here all night i think. there's nothing on tv.. stupid thursday
April says (7:57 PM):
Thursday telly sucks
ScoMan says (7:57 PM):
by "all night" i mean until about 10 o'clock.. then it's bed time. i'm getting old
April says (7:58 PM):
Ok, well I'll catch you in about half an hour
ScoMan says (7:58 PM):
okay, enjoy the good vet

So there you go. Somewhere in there is an agreement to the proposal, which I suppose would make me technically engaged (or, slightly more technically, "engaged to be divorced")

Do you hear that?

That's the sound of hearts all around the world simultaneously breaking. Sorry ladies!

And it's the perfect engagement too.. we haven't talked for about 3 weeks now. (Okay, that changed as I was drafting this)

Speaking of sound, I've been trying to decide which music we should chicken dance to on this magical day. One that jumps out at me straight away is of course "Tainted Love". Maybe a little "Die, Die My Darling". Does anyone have any other suggestions?

While researching I did a Google search for "Divorce songs" I came across some pretty funny song titles (mostly country songs). My favourite (title, not song) would have to be "She Got The Goldmine, I Got The Shaft” by Jerry Reed.

Oh, and to mark the occasion I decided to put together my list of five "celeb freebies". It was a lot of fun putting together, so I'll share it with you now.

I'm going to put it in the region of "highly unlikely" that anyone out there can name all five. Maybe four at a stretch? Maybe with a group effort you can get five? If someone can prove me wrong however, I will be very impressed with them. I might even do something special for them. I don't comment on my own blog any more, but I will come back in a few days and give you all the answers, so anyone who wants to take a guess can see how well they scored.

See you next week, with whichever post you vote for. (I know which one I want, but I won't influence the results at all)

* Names have been changed to protect the innocent (and the guilty)

PS I am taking advantage of the fact I'm only posting once a week now. All future posts are probably going to be fairly long, but as I said last time, you have a week...

But for anyone who hasn't had enough ScoMan, I'm going to link you back to one of my few fictional pieces, a piece which shows what a word nerd I am, my 10th post, "Y Should I Do All The Work?"

Back in the lab again...

Hello ScoFans!

As some of you may have noticed by the fact I'm commenting on your blogs, I am back from Adelaide. While I was there, I decided a few things regarding this blog:
1- I'm cutting back to one post a week for awhile. I should be able to churn out one a week, right? Also, I won't feel bad if my posts are long, because you guys will have a week to read it. If it's too much for today, read a bit and come back tomorrow.
2- I'm putting up a poll so YOU can vote for what you read next. I usually have a few ideas swimming about in my head, so I'll put the poll up and between you all you can choose which one interests you. (I'll give you about 72 hours from when the weekly post is posted to vote)

On the subject of what interests you, we move on to today's post. I'm posting about sport, which I'm sure interests very few of you, but this is my space and I will do what I please.

In particular, I'm posting about a game that was played on ANZAC day (the 25th of April.. that's how long I've been sitting on this blog) which made me realise just how seriously some people take their sport. I know it's been said before, but it never sunk in for me until this game was played.

It's a game involving Essendon and Collingwood, the highlights of the last 4 and a half minutes of which are below. When we pick the game up, Essendon are 14 points down (and so you know, it's 6 points every time they kick it between the big sticks in the middle, and one point if they kick it between the little post on the side)

You can watch it and see how much better it is than the game that's referred to as "football" in your country.

Now, here in approximate order are the things that made me realise people take this game too seriously (I'm not saying I didn't enjoy it, because I did.. but some people get carried away)
1- My dad got a bit teary after the match. I was happy, sure, but I didn't get THAT emotional.
2- The coach of the Collingwood Football Club said "Our side really let the ANZACs down today". For you to understand how ridiculous that is, you probably need to know what an ANZAC is. The ANZAC acronym stands for "Australian and New Zealand Army Corps". It was first used for those soldiers that took part in the bloodbath that was the battle of Gallipoli. I really don't think most of these guys care too much about the outcome of a football match.
3- There was talk from a few media outlets that, because his side lost a game they should have won, the coach should be sacked. Personally, I think it's the coaches job to get them to the game, but in the last 4 minutes it's all on the players.
4- One of the guys at work said "Well done on Saturday" to me when I got to work on Monday. Really? Well, thanks. It's about time people started to recognise the hard yards I put in for that club. You know, sitting on my ass and watching TV and all.
5- My friend who barracks for Collingwood didn't talk to me for a week.
6- I'm still blogging about it now AND I still got goosebumps watching the video on YouTube.

Does anyone else have stories of how crazy people can get over sport?

Because I've bored you all with these tales today, I'm going to leave you with the results of a recent Facebook quiz I've done. My favourite Facebook quiz ever.

Scott completed the quiz "SAW: What would your 'Play Me' tape say?" with the result Razor Wire Trap.
Hello I want to play a game You are a perfectly healthy, sane and middle-class citizen yet last month you ran a straight razor across your wrist. Did you cut yourself because you truly wanted to die or did you just want some attention? Tonight, you'll show me. The irony is that if you want to die you just have to stay where you are, but if you want to live, you'll have to cut yourself again. Find the path through the razor-wire to the door but hurry. In two hours, that door will lock and then, this room becomes your tomb. How much blood will you shed to stay alive?.

Have I mentioned I love the SAW movies? Does that need mentioning, or is that obvious?

Actually, what I'll leave you with is one of the funnier moments in football...



Remember to vote on the poll!

Don't hurt me

Well, the driver failed so we have another negative outcome to our game.

He crashed his car during the practice session and had to have it rebuilt in 3 hours before the race. Then, he started from the back of the grid and kept having problems with the car all day because it was rebuilt so quickly and not tested.

That's motorsport, it's not my fault.. honest.. please don't hurt me, I've already had one virtual ass kicking*, I don't think I could handle another..

And so, you don't get to see me this time. But, I do get to award myself something I saw on someecards.com (because none of you were ever going to do it)

Yes, I think my Facebook friend count is right in that perfect zone. The current count is 45.

Personally, when I see someone with triple-digits friends I roll my eyes.

When I see someone with less than 20 friends I feel sorry for them.

So, if you have anywhere between 20 and 99 Facebook friends, congratulations. It may not be a picture of me, but it is a nice little runner up prize.

And if you don't have between 20 and 99 friends, you get nothing today. Sucks to be you.

*If you go to the virtual ass kicking post, you might need to go to the comments for the full story.

The reality is sinking in..

Over 130 confirmed dead.

Over 700 homes destroyed.

At least two towns wiped off the map forever.

It is already Australia's worst natural disaster in history, with the death toll expected to more than double (and perhaps triple) that experienced during the 1983 Ash Wednesday fires, and still 31 fires rage on.

There are three incredible bushfires currently happening in my state. The smoke from one of these has plagued my town since Saturday. Talking to different people, some are concerned. Some are confident we will be okay. Almost everyone has a bag by the door in case we are told to leave (I don't, but perhaps I should. But I have insurance, I'll run with just my phone and my wallet if I have to.)

I woke up this morning thinking it's ridiculous to think the fires would ever reach us. There are bushfires around here every year, and they are all controlled before they get too serious. It's part of living in rural Australia, these things happen. I was joking about it, laughing it off. I think my Facebook status still reads "is worried he isn't worried enough. Or maybe everyone else is too worried. Yes, it's everyone else who's wrong"

I didn't realise how much worse this fire was than any of the others I have seen.

It is concerning to look at the "Statewide Current Incident" report and see the number of fires which have no fire trucks on the scene. They can't be there. Resources are stretched to the limit controlling the three major blazes. In fact, when I went to bed last night, there were four major blazes, two of which were near here and one of which was heading this way. Sometime today one of the blazes switched direction and joined up with the other fire, which now covers some 93,000 hectares.

We've been told that if the fire comes here, we can't expect any support from the fire department.

We already had American firefighters in the country (apparently we do a bit of a trade with them, some of them come over here during their winter and some of ours go over there during their winter), we have any spare firefighters available coming in from other states, and we have 100 firefighters in New Zealand on standby. The conditions they have to deal with are amazing, as you can see in the picture above.

Anyone who isn't here is concerned about those who are. All day at work people's phones were actively ringing, another loved one seeing if we're okay and if we've decided to leave town. I have a friend with a sister in town (long time readers of this blog might recall) and she was messaging us both on Facebook most of the day. She told me her sister was deciding to leave (a quick review of her wall revealed she never had any such intentions) and I had a friend messaging me most of yesterday saying "Shouldn't you get the fuck out of there?"

But those of us who are here laugh off the concern. At the moment we are safe. There were a few alerts issued last night and this morning, but never a warning. The outskirts of the fire are still over twenty kilometres away, and at the moment the wind is on our side.

The radio was flooded with stories today as they broadcast from the shelters set up for those who have lost their homes. Some tragic, some heroic.

Three sisters were preparing to leave town and sent their three husbands to check on their parents and handicapped brother nearby. The brothers got their to find the car in the driveway, the keys in the ignition, clothes in back and three corpses inside.

A teenager ran through a burning paddock and managed to save the lives of his sister and eight other children who had been sheltering in a nearby home, after hearing his sisters call for help to a local radio station.

But what really made me sick to my stomach was after hearing the same warning all day, "Residents are warned if you live in any of these areas are warned that if you're going to leave, leave when you see the smoke, if you leave when you see the flames it's too late and you will have to stay and fight", there was a new message just before five o'clock. "If you're still in the following areas, it's now too late, you will not get out and you will have to stay and fight"

I just hope that's not the message I hear when I wake up tomorrow morning. I know when I'm awake I'm ok, I can monitor, I can leave. I don't think I'll sleep tonight.

But don't worry about me pets. I try not to make a habit of being engulfed in flames. And I promise you that if I am, I certainly won't let it happen again.

Also, I cut my hand at work today when a shelf I was moving fell apart. You'd think with all the warnings about bushfires they could spare 5 minutes of radio time to warn me about breaking shelves.

** UPDATE ** There was a missed call on my answering machine from a stranger telling me most of the houses in their street survived, and they're okay. I don't know who they are, but it's nice to know.

A second chance...

I've found Facebook gives people something that's hard to get in this lifetime. A second chance. A chance to make amends for wrongdoings against others many years ago.

Case #1 - The High School Bully

This might surprise some of you, but I was never part of the in crowd in high school. I was the subject of much bullying over my years, but I'm not here now to whinge or complain about any of that, what other people said about me has never meant much to me.

But a few weeks ago one of the guys in the bullying crowd added me to Facebook. It surprised me a bit, as we were never exactly close. He never did any of the bullying, and had actually been kind of nice to me when the other guys weren't around, but he still sent me a message to apologise that he never told them to stop, and sometimes encouraged them. Although it had never bothered me, it was refreshing to see he felt remorse all these years later.

We'll never be friends. But it gave him a chance to clear his conscience.

Case #2 - The Stubborn Teenager

I was once very close friends with a girl, and we both knew if we ever wanted to just talk random shit, gossip about the Big Brother Housemates or celebs (but never our friends, that would be wrong) or just someone to cuddle the other one would be there for them.

New Years Eve a few years ago we were out camping with a group of friends. We started the night near the fire with her sitting on my lap and we were talking and joking and having a good time. After awhile, a friend of ours came over and said "You two look comfortable" and piled on top, so we were now three in the one seat.

Those two left after a little bit, and I was talking to another friend for half an hour or so, when one of the other girls I had never got along with came over to me and just started screaming at me "This is your fault! She's crying because of you"

I asked her what was going on and she replied "She's over there telling everyone that you hate her"

Knowing that my friend was quite drunk, I figured it was just the alcohol talking, and the next morning we would have a laugh about it and get on with our lives. I never told her she was wrong.

Not that night. Not the next day. Not when she stopped talking to me. Not ever.

Thanks to Facebook, I got the opportunity to congratulate her on the birth of her child, who is now over a year old.

We'll never get out friendship back. But at least the lines of communication are open again.


"Recall the deeds as if they're all
Someone else's
Atrocious stories
Now you stand reborn
Before us all
So glad to see you well

And not to pull your halo down
Around your neck and tug you to the ground
But I'm more than just a little curious
How you're plannin' to go about makin' your amends
To the dead"

A Perfect Circle- The Noose