Welcome everybody to my commentary


I've got so much talent, it's a little scary

Is my every random thought insightful? Very

Not just entertaining- I'm a luminary

Neil Patrick Harris- Commentary! The Musical





Friday, March 6, 2009

Our First Game Ends

Hello ScoFans!

Earlier this week I showed you all how much I enjoy a good game of chance. I offered you the chance to see a picture of me in a hat, if my football team could get over the line and win their way to the Grand Final of the pre-season cup.

This would be our first game.

I know some of you have been hoping that you should win your prize, either to see me for the first time or to mock me in my hat. I know many others couldn't care less one way or the other.

Both sides lined up with a few of their quality players sittng in the stands, beacuse nobody really takes the preseason competition all that seriously, and if a player is "a bit sore" they won't risk him suffering a serious injury.

Anyway, the result was:
COLLINGWOOD 116 d ESSENDON 73
So there it is. A negative result this time.
Perhaps we'll play again in the future.
But as a runner up prize I'll give you a funny Australian song. I couldn't find the great video for it I saw last year, so I've left you with the official video. (Yes, some of the lyrics are out of place)

Thursday, March 5, 2009

I'm coming around...




I remember loving this song when I was younger. But it was only when it was bought up again on an Australia musical trivia / comedy show and I heard it for the first time in years, that I realised (well.. they told me.. but I would have worked it out on my own this time around) what it was about.

It was released in about 1994, so I would have been 9 or 10 at the time. I was innocent then. How was I to know where she was going or what she was going to do when she got there? I just thought it was a fun song and enjoyed spinning in circles.

But now the song is back in my life, now I know what it's about. Now I love it even more.

Anyway, this is the conversation between Adam Hill, Max Sharam, Myf Warhurst, Alan Brough and John Wood which has a nice little piece of wisdom I feel we can all take something from.

Adam: Basically that song is about being a stalker isn't it?
Max: Yes
Adam: Right
Max: It could be just um, an unnannounced visit
Myf: That's called a drop in, it sounds a bit worse than a drop in though
Adam: Yeah, I think it's the line "better pull your blinds down"
Max: But she's giving the person warning
Adam: You're a polite stalker
Alan: Yeah but spinning around in what appeared to be a carpark is not the best place to give a person warning
Max: God, you're all so anti-stalking and everything you lot
Alan: Oh no, I don't, you know..
Adam: Alan's quite pro stalker
Alan: I mean, I don't encourage it.. well.. not publicly..
John: People don't encourage it in him
Alan: No, well, they don't encourage it in me. And it's also difficult to be a stalker when you're my size. I reckon your compact folk get away with stalking much better.

Yes, there it is. The compact folk get away with stalking much better. That's something we should all remember as we climb out of bed each morning.

I should also remind you all that our little game takes place tomorrow night, so let's hope for a positive result.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

It's only because I'm cute and fabulous (or my blog is)

Hello ScoFans!

I have been sitting on two awards for awhile. One for a month, one for about two weeks. I know, I'm wonderful, and I'm so over awards *yawn* (just joking, awards are great, they make me feel loved)

One is for being fabulous, the other for being cute. So I ask you this my pets, which would you rather be? Fabulous, or cute? Well, luckily for you, you don't get to decide. I do. So here we go...


Award #1 - Fabulous!






I received this award from Thrice of "From the STUPIDEST corner of my mind..." a month ago. Yes, I've been keeping it to myself ever since. Selfishly clinging to it in a desperate attempt to feel important. To spice things up a bit (nothing is ever for free) recipients are supposed to list 5 addictions, so here we go (I doubt there'll be many surprises here)




* The music of Maynard James Keenan. Whether it be Tool, A Perfect Circle or Puscifer, the man is talented and his music always makes me happy. The lyrics especially are a work of genius.

* My niece AJ's smile. Whenever she's around I work so hard to make her smile or laugh. A story from last time I saw her, I was piggybacking her around my parents back yard but, because my weight is still slowly disappearing, my pants were very loose and falling down (they don't have belt loops) I emptied my pockets on top of a cabinet just out of her reach and went and got one of her balls. She wasn't interested in that, she was standing by the cabinet pointing to the things I had left there.


So I picked her up where she could reach them. First my phone. She grabbed it from the cabinet, I put her down and she gave it back to me. Then my keys, same thing, she grabbed them and gave them back to me. Lastly my wallet.. although she wasn't giving that one back. She is smart, and she kept it.

* Reading. I love to read. It's interesting to journey through the different worlds as the words escape the page and enter my mind.

* The Essendon Football Club. Sure, I know most of you are probably thinking "Of course, a guy and sports." Well it's a tad different for me. For a long time I didn't care about sport. I think I mentioned in a previous post I stopped playing sport at a young age and I really didn't care about it, instead deciding to do well in my education. Dad stopped talking to me for years after I stopped playing sport.

But, it's because I've allowed to become interested in sport again and because Dad and I happen to support the same team and started going to games together that we were able to reconnect. If we didn't have that, we probably still wouldn't be talking.

* Dexter. You all knew it was coming. The TV show, the books, the man, I just can't get enough. I know some people don't get it and only see the "capital punishment" (which it totally isn't.. capital punishment requires the criminal to be convicted of an offence, Dexter kills people who managed to slip through the holes of the legal system and makes sure they get the punishment they're due) side of the show. Well, if they were willing to look a little deeper, they might see something they enjoy.


Now it's time to give this award to five other fabulous bloggers.


Badriyyah- Life through my eyes...
OmegaRadium- Differential Diagnosis
ChinkyGirLMeL- ChinkyMel's Corner
Kathy B! - the world according to me
Hillbilly Duhn- Hillbilly Duhn's Times & Tribulations

Missed out that time? Maybe you'll have more luck with...


Award #2 - Cute!


ChinkyGirLMel of ChinkyMel's corner gave me this award about two weeks ago due to my new super duper know you wish you had one just like it layout. This time the catch is.. wait.. there.. doesn't appear to be any catch?

So, I guess I'll just pass this one to five bloggers who either have an awesome layout (not quite as awesome as my own of course, that would be quite impossible) or an awesome banner (again, not as good as my own, but good nonetheless[and no I'm not letting these awards go to my head]) or post in a cute manner. So the five recipients of this award are...

D* - I'm having a moment...
Krystal- Friends with Benefits
Patti Ann- I love this city always
Alafolie- Story of O
yourstruly100- Everyday is a little life!!!

Some of you could have won both awards. Some who didn't get an award I left off because I've given them awards before and wanted to mix this up a little bit.

So congratulations to all of those who won awards, and to those who didn't, keep blogging away and you never know your luck in the bloggosphere.

Wake up son o' mine
Momma got somethin' to tell you
Cchanges come
Life will have its way
With your pride, son
Take it like a man
Puscifer- Momma Sed

Monday, March 2, 2009

Panic!

Msg from Vic Police: Extreme weather in Vic expected Mon night & Tues. High wind & fire risk. Listen to local ABC Radio for emergency updates. Do not reply to this.

Hello ScoFans!

That's the SMS we received today. It was funny at work, at first only two of us got it and 4 missed out. The two that got it (me and the other guy) were quite pleased with ourselves, saying they must have sent it to us because we're worth saving. The girls said it's only because we have criminal records, and the police knew how to contact us. Then they started saying "I bet you get charged for that message. I bet it comes on your bill" Then they started receiving them, and their tune changed.

Winds are expected to hit over 150 km/h tomorrow and with fires still in progress around the state, firefighters are concerned not only the existing fires will burn out of control, but as the conditions will be similar to those on "Black Saturday" that a whole new series of fires may start.

Just when we were starting to think it was safe again.

Fire danger is measured based on a formula, which takes into account temperature, dryness, wind and various other factors. 50 is a dangerous number. 70 means there is little to no hope of fighting the fire. Two places in the state are over 300 tomorrow, and there are very few below 150. Even where my parents live, which was my evacuation point, is in the 150s.

It's been thoroughly debated though, what sort of warning to send out. "What happens if we warn everyone and nothing happens?" was the fire departments argument. That reminded me of something lecturer once said about workplace training.

"Employers often argue, what happens if we train people they and leave? I ask them, what happens if you don't train them and they stay?"

I guess it is this logic that lead to the above SMS being sent to 5,000,000 phones today. It's better to tell people and nothing happens, than it is to not warn people and a lot more lives are lost.

One of our clients are not opening their office tomorrow. I know this because they bought in all their payroll information they normally bring in on Tuesday's so that we can get their wages prepared and make sure they are paid on Wednesday. They have it all, safety, a day off and comfort in the fact they will be paid this week.

Anyway, it's just as likely nothing will happen tomorrow. It will be just another day. But I just wanted to throw out to the bloggosphere how times have changed, and for those that haven't dealt a lot with bushfires, a glimpse of what life is like from my perspective.

I'll leave you today with a story my grandfather told me on the weekend about his days as a fireman.

His firetruck wouldn't start and they were out in the bush with the fire moving towards them. Another fire brigade offered to tow them out, and so they tied the fire trucks together. They were going up the hill toward the road and the fire truck at the front was slowly, painfully making its way there. One of the firefighters in the front lost patience, took out his axe and cut the rope. The truck rolled backwards through fences and down the hill toward the river.

My grandmother heard on the car radio that they had lost contact with a Plenty fire truck, and ended up crashing the car with my mum and uncle inside.

The firefighters from my grandfathers truck all jumped in the river and survived. When the fire had passed, they walked back to the truck and it hadn't been burned at all, but around it had. They turned the keys, and the truck started.

Nobody ever admitted to being the firefighters in the other truck, even though they spoke to brigades from all over the state.

Anyway, on a more positive note I have some awards to give away sometime this week. Not only am I giving you the chance to win a reward in our little game and you stand no chance of losing anything, I'm also giving away awards. I'm so generous.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Game Time

Hello ScoFans,

I want to play a game. The rules of the game are simple. Your role in the game is minimal. Your rewards from a positive outcome are varied. Your consequences from a negative outcome are none.

After the Essendon Football Club won their game on Friday night, they place themselves in the semi-finals of the pre-season competition. If they win this Friday night, they are into the Grand Final.

But that is their prize. That prize is not for you my pets. Your prize, should Essendon make the Grand Final, is I will post a picture of myself here, on this blog. wearing my Essendon cap.

Therefore, your rewards vary from:
  • seeing a picture of me for the first time
  • already seen a picture of me, don't care about a hat
  • already seen a picture of me, know that my mother once remarked when I was wearing a cap "You know you really shouldn't wear hats. You have an odd shaped head as it is and a hat just makes your head look more like an egg", know that I haven't worn a cap since and have secretly wanted to see my humiliate myself this way.

The stakes might not be as high as if we were playing one of Jigsaw's games, but, well.. maybe next time.

Hello, Amanda. You don't know me, but I know you. I want to play a game. Here's what happens if you lose. The device you are wearing is hooked into your upper and lower jaw. When the timer in the back goes off, your mouth will be permanently ripped open. Think of it like a reverse bear trap. Here, I'll show you. [on videotape, a mannequin's head is destroyed by the device] There is only one key to open the device. It's in the stomach of your dead cell mate. Look around, Amanda. Know that I'm not lying. You better hurry up. Live or die. Make your choice.

- Jigsaw (Saw)