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Sunday, October 4, 2009

Outside the Nightclub

Hello ScoFans!

Okay, finally I'm going to start unleashing the story I told you about awhile back that I was working on with some of my loyal followers, which was all part of the celebration of my 100th post (this is my 123rd post, so I guess this was a long time coming)

It's not quite finished yet, but the first three parts are, and with any luck in four weeks the last part will be too.

The first part was written by myself. I set the scene and let them do the hard work. I'll tell you who each of them are as I introduce each part they've written.

“We’ve been here over an hour”

“I know, I know. We’ll get in soon”

“You say that every week, and we never get in”

Kylie. Every week she wants to come here just as badly as I do, but every week it’s my fault when we stand out the front in the cold all night. I don’t know what she expects though. We’ve lined up at this same club hundreds of times before and never been inside. Why should tonight be any different?

We’re nobodies. They don’t let nobodies into a place like this. I’m sorry if that sounded like I was complaining. I’m not really. I enjoy being a nobody. I enjoy being able to stand here unnoticed, and observe the people around me.

Watching the celebrities march right in.

Watching the VIPs getting their names marked off the list before being waved through.

And finally the beautiful people (all with dreams of being or banging a celebrity) occasionally being hand picked by the bouncers.

But we’re none of those things, so we stand in line with the rest of the cattle. Foolishly dedicated to the cause of looking foolish. We must make quite a sight for people passing by, or even the bouncers. You know the bouncers look at 98% of us and think “Not a chance in hell, but thanks for sticking around. Queues like this keep us being one of the hottest spots in town”

Kylie spoke up again.

“Can’t you try slipping the bouncers a fifty?”

“Do you know how many hundreds of dollars we’ve lost trying that in the past? They just smile, say thank you and tell us they consider us.. which they never do”

“Come on Matthew. It’s freezing out here, we have to at least try”

“Hey, no way am I wasting any more of our money with these guys”

But in the end I gave in. I always give in. So the next time a bouncer walked in our direction I had a word to him, gave him the old “shake of the hand” and got told we would be considered.

And then, without thinking twice, he let the young beautiful people in front of us in.

Next weeks installment will be written by D* of I'm having a moment...


  1. i hate bouncers period. thats all...

    like the kanye comment. no matter how many things we plug into his outburst its still funny.

  2. oh looking forward to next instalment!

  3. I would have kicked him in his shin and took my fifty back and ran like hell in the opposite direction!

  4. and that's the reason why i never stand in line to go to a club...rejection hurts. looking forward to more

  5. I won't even walk by a place like that. (Not that there are any where I live but I have been known to travel.)

  6. look forward to the next installment but have to add that at the club we used to go to the bouncer always used to put numbers on our hands and my number was always one higher than my BFFs, and when i started seeing him later on, i asked what the numbers meant, and they were our RATINGS and i said why is mine one higher than hers and he said B/C I LIKE BLONDES - can you say DOUCHE BAG?

  7. So clever...love the idea...love the story so far. Maybe it is the makings of a blog book. Take it an run ScoMan! Holly at lifelaughlatte.blogspot.com

  8. bad bouncer...if they weren't going to let you guys in, they shouldn't have accepted the money. anyhow...i can't wait to read more of this story. =)

  9. Ahh the beautiful people or those we like to refer to as the people who will allow penetration to any orifice to gain entry!

    I always got knocked back from the 'hip and happening' clubs, generally because I didn't wear a skirt so short I have to have laser hair removal treatment to put it on. Come to think of it - I don't own a skirt.. maybe that was the problem???

    Drink at home with your friends - it's cheaper and saves you from an orifice assault!

  10. Come over here Sco and you'll be VIP. I've never been rejected from any clubs but bouncers can be real asses sometimes.

  11. That is sad :-( Don't go to those lame-o places anymore. Start your own club. I'll totally come.

  12. Oh - this is GREAT!!! I wish it had been longer!!! I think it's really interesting to read something from the perspective of someone who waits in the line (not that I'm saying YOU have to wait in lines - but obviously the character's perspective is one who waits in lines.)

    And as a little side note - fascinating comments!! People definitely have opinions on the matter. I don't club that often but whenever I have I've almost always been VIP - and if I'm not in the VIP line - I am still let in at the front of the other line ... I guess I've taken that for granted. Kinda makes me feel guilty. :(

  13. *wink* I know what comes next...


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