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Sunday, January 24, 2010

What shall we do with the drunken accountant?

Hello ScoFans!

Who loves sea shanties?

I can't see you, but I'm just going to assume you're all jumping up and down screaming "I do! I do! I do!"

Well settle down for a moment. I'm going to ask you all to give me a hand with writing our own shanty. But not yet. At the end.

Now, if you love sea shanties as much as I'm imagining you claim to love them, then you should be familiar with the shanty I'm going to be playing with today, but for the few of you (VERY few of you) who aren't familiar with your shanties, you can check it out in these YouTube videos (and because I know most people aren't big on YouTube videos in blogs, I'll make them Jack Sparrow versions just to tempt the ladies out there.. the guys shouldn't need tempting, they should just be excited about the shanty)

This version of the song is a bit rock, and a bit more modern..



This is a more traditional version..



(Side note, I have been watching these as inspiration for today's blog and because the weather is nice here I've got all the windows and doors open to get a nice crossflow happening. I have images of my 70+ year old neighbour coming knocking on the door and asking to come in to dance)

Alright, so just in case you're a slow person, what I'm going to be doing today is updating that shanty for my profession. And just in case you're a REALLY slow person, my profession is accounting.

There are a lot more verses to the ones in each of those clips (and for those of you interested in the whole thing it's on YouTube somewhere) and according to Wikipedia..

It begins with the question, "What shall we do with a drunken sailor, early in the morning?" (Or sometimes "What do you do," etc.) Each verse thereafter suggests a method of sobering—or castigating, or simply abusing—the sailor.

I haven't planned much of this yet, but I do picture my version probably focusing a lot more on abusing the accountant (which should be no surprise after some of the pranks I admitted to pulling at the office last week)


WHAT SHALL WE DO WITH THE DRUNKEN ACCOUNTANT?

What shall we do with the drunken accountant?
What shall we do with the drunken accountant?
What shall we do with the drunken accountant?
During our scheduled appointment

Hoo-ray and up she rises
Hoo-ray and up she rises
Hoo-ray and up she rises
During our scheduled appointment

Link all their paperclips together
Link all their paperclips together
Link all their paperclips together
During our scheduled appointment

Hoo-ray and up she rises
Hoo-ray and up she rises
Hoo-ray and up she rises
During our scheduled appointment


Give them the clients who never shower
Give them the clients who never shower
Give them the clients who never shower
During our scheduled appointment


Hoo-ray and up she rises
Hoo-ray and up she rises
Hoo-ray and up she rises
During our scheduled appointment


What shall we do with the drunken accountant?
What shall we do with the drunken accountant?
What shall we do with the drunken accountant?
During our scheduled appointment

Hoo-ray and up she rises
Hoo-ray and up she rises
Hoo-ray and up she rises
During our scheduled appointment

We'll write "5318008" on their calculator
We'll write "5318008" on their calculator
We'll write "5318008" on their calculator
During our scheduled appointment

Hoo-ray and up she rises
Hoo-ray and up she rises
Hoo-ray and up she rises
During our scheduled appointment


Draw fake eyes on the front of their glasses
Draw fake eyes on the front of their glasses
Draw fake eyes on the front of their glasses
During our scheduled appointment

Hoo-ray and up she rises
Hoo-ray and up she rises
Hoo-ray and up she rises
During our scheduled appointment


What shall we do with the drunken accountant?
What shall we do with the drunken accountant?
What shall we do with the drunken accountant?
During our scheduled appointment

Hoo-ray and up she rises
Hoo-ray and up she rises
Hoo-ray and up she rises
During our scheduled appointment

We'll spin them in their chair til they vomit
We'll spin them in their chair til they vomit
We'll spin them in their chair til they vomit
During our scheduled appointment

Hoo-ray and up she rises
Hoo-ray and up she rises
Hoo-ray and up she rises
During our scheduled appointment

Change their ring tone to the sound of a power tool
Change their ring tone to the sound of a power tool
Change their ring tone to the sound of a power tool
During our scheduled appointment

Hoo-ray and up she rises
Hoo-ray and up she rises
Hoo-ray and up she rises
During our scheduled appointment


What shall we do with the drunken accountant?
What shall we do with the drunken accountant?
What shall we do with the drunken accountant?
During our scheduled appointment

Hoo-ray and up she rises
Hoo-ray and up she rises
Hoo-ray and up she rises
During our scheduled appointment

We'll slip some salt into their coffee
We'll slip some salt into their coffee
We'll slip some salt into their coffee
During our scheduled appointment

Hoo-ray and up she rises
Hoo-ray and up she rises
Hoo-ray and up she rises
During our scheduled appointment


Change the settings in their internet browser
Change the setting in their internet browser
Change the settings in their internet browser
During our scheduled appointment

Hoo-ray and up she rises
Hoo-ray and up she rises
Hoo-ray and up she rises
During our scheduled appointment


What shall we do with the drunken accountant?
What shall we do with the drunken accountant?
What shall we do with the drunken accountant?
During our scheduled appointment

Hoo-ray and up she rises
Hoo-ray and up she rises
Hoo-ray and up she rises
During our scheduled appointment

Staple their timesheet to the carpet
Staple their timesheet to the carpet
Staple their timesheet to the carpet
During our scheduled appointment

Hoo-ray and up she rises
Hoo-ray and up she rises
Hoo-ray and up she rises
During our scheduled appointment

We'll stickytape their pens together
We'll stickytape their pens together
We'll stickytape their pens together
During our scheduled appointment

Hoo-ray and up she rises
Hoo-ray and up she rises
Hoo-ray and up she rises
During our scheduled appointment


What shall we do with the drunken accountant?
What shall we do with the drunken accountant?
What shall we do with the drunken accountant?
During our scheduled appointment

Hoo-ray and up she rises
Hoo-ray and up she rises
Hoo-ray and up she rises
During our scheduled appointment

Hoo-ray and up she rises
Hoo-ray and up she rises
Hoo-ray and up she rises
During our scheduled appointment

I think that might be enough to punish them.. for now at least.

And so now I'm putting a call out to all of you. We'll get a nice blog community shanty project happening.

I want you to tell me "What shall we do with the drunken blogger?"

I know some of you have carried out drunken blogging in your time. Maybe even some drunken vlogging. What you choose to do to the drunken blogger is up to you. You can punish them. You can congratulate them. Just let me know in the comments section and we'll see how many verses we come up with. I'll leave it a few weeks before getting it all finished up.

Also, if you can tell me When / Where we should do to the drunken blogger (ie instead of "early in the mornin" or "during our scheduled appointment") I'll pick a few of the ones I really like and hold a poll in a few weeks to see which one makes it into the final version.

And if you want to invite your readers to get involved (either by getting them to comment on your blog or sending them over here) that would be cool too. The more contributors, the more verses, the better this will be.

Until Tuesday...

Oh, but before I go, I just had to share this..


17 comments:

  1. I love the idea of modernizing shanties! That's too funny. (Although, not to be a total nerd, but I think something like "during our next meeting" might work better than "during our scheduled appointment" in the accountant shanty -- makes the syllable work so the song fits the tune.)

    My reaction to drunken bloggers is -- if they are awesome and grammatical -- to chest bump 'em. Otherwise, I hit "marked as read" in my google reader.

    Which, actually, would be my blogger version of "early in the morning": What shall we do with the drunken blogger in your google reader. I suppose it doesn't really apply to people who use RSS readers, but forget 'em.

    ReplyDelete
  2. http://www.bilgemunky.com/radio/podcasts/bmr2010-01-18.mp3

    Pirate Radio. Arrrgh

    Thar still be pirates in these waters.

    ReplyDelete
  3. What shall we do with a drunken blogger?

    Give them an appropriate avatar?

    Spam them with links to hangover cures?

    (sorry, these don't exactly fit into the rhythm of the song)

    ReplyDelete
  4. What shall we do with a drunken blogger? mmmmmm..... put'im in the Drunken Bloggers.

    ...Give him a drunken comment--I don't know. LOL

    ReplyDelete
  5. When it's time to leave a comment.
    or
    When his post is in our reader.
    or
    When he doesn't make any sense.

    -Tell him to keep on drinking.
    -Tell him to make a vlog next time.

    It sure makes good fodder.

    ReplyDelete
  6. For your accountant I say, "Lock him in a room with a pissed off auditor."

    For the drunken blogger, "Link'em to a post to Pat Robertson."

    ReplyDelete
  7. Have no idea what to say here, I'm better at coming up with filthy arse quotes.

    What shall we do with a drunken blogger
    kick em up the arse so they do what we wanna

    I don't know!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Scott, you're nuts.

    BTW the ol'mum is upset you live so far because she loves you.

    ReplyDelete
  9. this is very creative and I on the otherhand am not...son I cant really contribute to this project..

    ReplyDelete
  10. What should we do with the drunken blogger?

    Give them a month of daily Memes.
    Give them a month of daily Memes.
    Give them a month of daily Memes.

    ReplyDelete
  11. lol - a month of daily memes would be the worst!!

    Hmm ...

    What shall we do with a drunken blogger?

    Set him up on a horoscope project
    Set him up on a horoscope project
    set him up on a horoscope project
    at the beginning of the month

    or hmm ...

    send their drunk posts to their mothers
    send their drunk posts to their mothers
    send their drunk posts to their mothers

    umm ...

    post their blog on a russian spam forum
    post their blog on a russian spam forum
    post their blog on a russian spam forum

    ooorrrr

    blow up their email with AA info
    blow up their email with AA info
    blow up their email with AA info

    yeah it's late and that's all I've got for the moment. Happy Australia Day!!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Huh? You mean accountants are entertaining? :p

    ReplyDelete
  13. send them japanese butt porn

    that would be good.

    ReplyDelete
  14. LOL to give them a month of daily memes!! I'm usually a drunken blogger so I'm not sure i can say much to this one. hmmmm I'll think on it and come back!

    ReplyDelete
  15. hahahaha. You are too funny... Hmmm... what shall we do with a drunken blogger? Send their mom's a link to their page so their mom's can have something interesting to read. hehehehe. =)

    ReplyDelete
  16. I had something, that I tweeted you, about a laptop in the gutter - but I can't remember anymore :(

    ReplyDelete
  17. your mind works in mysterious ways sco....

    now its stuck in my head! and I will never look at my accountant the same way again.

    ReplyDelete

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