Welcome everybody to my commentary

I've got so much talent, it's a little scary

Is my every random thought insightful? Very

Not just entertaining- I'm a luminary

Neil Patrick Harris- Commentary! The Musical

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

S and D do Victoria (or parts thereof)- Part II Street Performances & Rainbows

As you will recall from the last blog, I spent the weekend with an old friend of mine. I went into detail about the friend, but not the events of the weekend. So here we go, day one.

It started at the airport. We met, hugs were exchanged, we were walking back to my car and she had a card and pressie for me (she's so lovely and generous), we loaded up the car and we were on our way. Or so I thought. Until we got to the gates and..
"I hope you got the ticket"
"What ticket? Was I supposed to get that?"
"Yes you were, don't tell me you didn't get it"
Well, you can see where this is going.

I checked my pockets, I checked my wallet, I was freaking out. I kept checking everything and she told me she didn't remember me grabbing it. I didn't remember grabbing it either. Damn.

So I put the car in reverse and we parked in the bays nearby and walked back into the carpark facilities trying to work out what we were going to do next. She came up with the idea of just running back to the entrance, grabbing a ticket and we'd be on our way. Good in theory, in practice it failed. She ran over and hit the ticket button and was told "No ticket without a vehicle"

So plan A failed.

We went to the customer service desk for assistance and she paid for another ticket. She gave it to me and told me not to lose this one. I put the ticket in my pocket, and as I did, I felt something familiar. Something not disimilar to what was in my hand. That's right ladies and gentlemen.. it was the first ticket. Can I make a lasting first impression or what?

From there we travelled back up the road to my place so she could unload her bags. About 40 minutes into the hour long trip she began asking questions about my plans for the future, and would they include living in the city. Apparently she doesn't appreciate long car rides or trees and paddocks.

After unloading the bags, we turned the car around and went back to the city. More trees, more paddocks.

When we got there I hadn't really planned what to do next (I'm such a bad tour guide, if there's a next time I'll be better) so we just wandered the streets aimlessley.

Whilst doing so, we saw through the window of a station wagon what looked to be several boxes of "Fresh bidet wipes". There was at least one box of the suckers anyway. It amused us both greatly.

We went up the Rialto (the tallest building in the city) and had a look around. I looked through the binoculars and noticed some action a few blocks away. Note to self- make that our next stop.

And our next stop it was. There was a street performer there who was rather entertaining. He had exceptional coordination. His final trick however was a beauty.

He pulled out a 10 foot high unicycle and was going to juggle knives on it, and kick a plastic goldfish into the bowl on his head. He would of course, need help for this trick.

He pointed out a "volunteer" from the audience to hold the unicycle in place for him. He went on and did a few other tricks, checked that our "volunteer" had a decent grip on the unicycle and decided it was unsafe. Enter "volunteer" number two to hold the other side.

But these two volunteers were not enough. No, he would need one more. I have a psychic moment, and I know what's about to happen. He points at me.
"You sir, you look non threatening, come over here and give me a hand"

My role in the masterpiece was to stand with a hand on each of the first two volunteers shoulders, facing away from the action, and pray that he knew he was doing.

I could hear him playing with his knives behind me, and I was trying to work out what was about to happen, and thinking to myself "I am going to stuff this up and the four of us are going to end up with broken bones"

After a period, he announced it was now time to start the finale. He asked the audience to clap each time he took a step. This only built up the fear inside me.

Where is he?
What's going on?
I see him out of the corner of my eye
Ok, he's running in front of me
If he stays out there I'm safe
Oh no, he's heading back around the other side
If he tries to use me as a stepping stone, we're all in trouble
He's behind me now
I know, I'll scan the audience to try and gauge what he's doing from their faces
Oh, a girl sticking her tongue out at me, lovely

"Jesus christ!" I heard him scream as he landed on my back with his hands around my face.

"He didn't look this big in the catalogue"

With the assitance of another audience member, he was able to climb up my back and onto his unicycle. The feat was, eventually, a success.

From there we went to the aquarium and had a look around, which was quite interesting, but nothing too exciting happened there (except she got quite a fright.. hehe..)

We then travelled on back to my place, and on the way we acutally saw the end of a rainbow. A new experience for both of us, but there was no pot of gold.

And that, dear readers, concludes day one of the weekend.

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