It was only recently that I started a discussion with my mother about my ancestry. I forget how the topic came up, but being that I'm 25 now it's probably a conversation we should have had a long time ago.
"My side of the family," my mother said to me "arrived here from England." She told me how many generations ago it was. She told me one branch of my grandfathers family, when they arrived, decided to remove the "e" from their surname to disassociate themselves from the others. She told me about some of the struggles they faced along the way.
"Your fathers side, you should know better than anyone. We named you Scott as a tribute to your heritage. His side of the family came from Scotland"
Now, my dear sweet father, he is a man of few words. He is usually quite happy to let my mum do all the talking, and he will sit quietly in a corner and mind his own business. On this particular Saturday afternoon however, he couldn't resist the urge to speak up.
"My family came from Ireland" a voice from the corner of the room said.
Time paused for a moment, as my mother reflected on what was happening. You could see in her eyes, she was thinking about everything she had done to her eldest son.
She had taken away Pierce Brosnan and given me Sean Connery.
She had taken away Dublin and given me Edinburgh.
She had taken away potatoes and given me haggis.
My name, which my mother had intended as a tribute for those who came before me, is now her own private shame. She makes it her business to know her family's business, but in this instance she let herself down.
Now, every time my mother says my name, she'll die a little inside as she relives her grandest mistake.
And as for me, well a famous frog once said it's not easy being green, but it's damn near impossible when your mother and even your name which has become the cross you bear deny you your Irish blood.
PS If you want to check out my skills as a photographer using only a webcam, check out my friend Thrice's blog. Have a read while you're there too.
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