Today my dad turns 50. Quite an accomplishment.. you know, with the whole "not dying yet" and everything. Good on him.
Yesterday at quarter to five I received a text that looked an awful lot like this from my mother:
"On our way back from funeral, will call in and have take away with you, about 30 mins away"
My thought sequence went something like this over the next 10 seconds..
Awesome! I don't have to cook tonight.
I forgot the funeral was today. I wonder if my grandparents went?
Shit! Dad's birthday presents are scattered about my table. I have to hurry home and do something about that!
Normally I'm all up for having a chat with coworkers after work. But yesterday I quickly excused myself and tended to my immediate problem.
Because I live an hour away from them I thought it would be safe to leave this stuff laying about until I was ready to get off my ass and wrap it. In my defence, it had only been there for about 3 days.
I was lucky I was too tired to walk back to work after lunch yesterday afternoon so I drove in. It allowed for a much speedier getaway.. after I was able to get away from one particular coworker who heard my story and decided this would be a good time to have a chat about what I had got him, what we were doing for his birthday and so on.
I did manage to get home and get the presents in the bottom of the cupboard before their arrival. And I only just noticed as I was opening the door that I had left the receipt on the table, so it took so slight of hand as I was walking back to the chair to get that into my pocket.
And then I got a scolding from my mother for not taking the time to reply to her text message. She's so proud of herself for being able to text, and when she does she tends to get ignored.
Sorry mum! Had other things on my mind. I'm sure I'll tell you all about it today.
What am I apologizing to you here for? You don't read this.
Because I want to look like a lovely person in front of my blogging peeps. That's why.
Anyway, he also went in for his "pre 50th birthday check up" that our generous Government pays for to keep our older Australias fit, healthy and working. They don't want us all living on the pension.
One of the recommendations on the list was..
- continue not smoking
That's great. That makes sense. But there's a whole lot of other things he's not doing which are beneficial to his health that you could put on that list.
- continue not jamming forks into electric sockets
- continue not hitting on bikers girlfriends
- on that subject, continue not picking fights with people bigger than you
- continue not drinking your own urine. I hear once is okay, but any more than that and you're in trouble. I'm really not sure about other peoples urine. I'll look that up.
- continue not burying yourself naked in the snow.
- continue not falling great distances
- continue not slamming your head into break walls
- continue not driving 180 km/h on the wrong side of the freeway
- continue not jamming sharp objects into your eyes, liver, lungs or heart
- continue not jumping head first through glass
You can see how the list works. Do any of you have other ideas for things that could go there?
Anyway, I think for my personal health and wellbeing, I'll continue making sure dad doesn't see I've tracked down this song on his birthday...
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