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I've got so much talent, it's a little scary

Is my every random thought insightful? Very

Not just entertaining- I'm a luminary

Neil Patrick Harris- Commentary! The Musical

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Suck me dry

Suckin up all you can, suckin up all you can suck.
Workin up under my patience like a little tick.
Fat little parasite.
Hello ScoFans!
Well, after having my Internet down for most of the night and starting to think this post wasn't going to happen, we are back online and order is back in the world.
So, this week, story not quite ready, instead I'm going to do something many of you have done before. I'm going to take a wander through some of the keyword searches that have bought people here.. to ScoMan's land.
My blood is bruised and borrowed.
You thieving bastards.
You have turned my blood cold and bitter,
beat my compassion black and blue.
I'm going to put the first two together...
Hello I want to play a game You are a perfectly healthy, sane and middle-class citizen yet last month, "SAW: What would your 'Play Me' tape say?" quiz
Both have bought multiple people here. Perhaps I need to start paying royalties to the Saw movies. I might be a tad obsessed with them.. but do you know what else I'm obsessed with? Dexter. And how many people have found me searching for Dexter? Nada.
I hope you're choking.
I hope you choke on this.
Again, throwing another few together
shotgun betty stoppin dead at my shoes, damned alphabet, WHAT COME BEFORE M in the alphabet, I Comes Before You In The Alphabet
Ah.. Puscifer fans. Searching for information on the Vagina Mine as well I see. Well, good on you. Never give up hope. Also, I hope I was of some use to you in your search.
I hope you're choking.
I hope you choke on this.
And while we're discussing music.. do you know what else was a keyword to find me? You don't? That's okay, because I was going to tell you anyway.
They say there's only six degrees of separation between all of us. In the world of blogging I'm wondering if there is even less than that. Anyway, you're only one degree out. Where you wanted to be was over here.
I hope you're choking.
I hope you choke on
Am I the only one who never realised how musically focussed this blog is? Because it's not until I'm looking through the keyword list and starting to realise how a lot of people that made there way here, did so for the music. Next on the list...
uh oh back in the lab again
I'm not sure which is more famous, Eminems music or the time I took him on. I'm thinking it's probably the former.. but only just.
Hope this is what you wanted.
Hope this is what you had in mind.
Cuz this is what you're getting.
Now for some strange ones that threw me a little bit.
"here's your learners permit. go away"
It took me a long time to work out what you wanted. Then it hit me. You found the scene I painstakingly wrote out word for word of "The Big Bang Theory". The one where Sheldon gets his learners permit. Still one of the funniest things I've seen on television. I hope you appreciate the effort I went to.
I hope you're choking.
I hope you choke on this.
your like my favourite seasons thats why im missing you like an incompletion
I don't even know what you mean, much less how you found me. Also, I hate to be a gramma nazi (no I don't) but I think you meant "you're". The line to me seems sappy and romantic, and those are two things I am not. Nonetheless, enjoy your stay and I hope you come again.
I hope you're choking.
I hope you choke on
And finally...
scomen us online adventure
First of all.. scoMEN? No, sorry. There is only one ScoMan, and I am he. US? Never been. Online adventure? There I can help you. My existence is online, so if I'm going to take an adventure, it would be.. yup, online.
Taken all I can, taken you like can, you can take.
Taken all you can, Taken all you can fuckin' take
Got nothing left to give to you.
Blood suckin parasitic little tick/blood suckin parasitic little tick
Take what you want and then go.
Well, that is our first journey though the keywords that have enlightened and enriched peoples lives. I wonder if any of the people who found me through keywords have ever returned. If you're one of them, leave a comment and let me know. You don't have to let me know which one was you.
Until next week, this is The Sco over and out.
Is this what you wanted?
Is this what you had in mind?
Cuz this this is what you're getting.
Tool- Ticks and Leeches


  1. Yep, there's only one ScoMan!
    I love reading the keywords that bring people to blogs, some of them are so weird!

  2. What a delightfully creative post!!! I LUV it!!! So I have to tell you - this is pathetic - I know!! But seriously I actually feel guilty when I read how people found me. Most of the time I think, "Darn - I DID post about that - but I surely didn't give out any good information!!" And then I wonder if I should be more helpful and and informative on my blog - and then I think - OMGOSH my blog is not google or an encyclopedia ... so maybe I shouldn't feel guilty.

    But I still do.

    I found you through a guest post on I don't even remember whose blog - I'm glad I did though - you are one of my favorite bloggers!!! :)

  3. Hello scoman!

    fowar. our little Lo is DA BOMB. hihihihi. as long as no one searching for me and found your blog, life is all good.

    *waiting impatiently for guests to arrive*

    i wished someone didn't steal our jet, or else you could have fly here in a matter of ?30 minutes and join my party.

    cuz food smell and taste AWESOME.

  4. People who stumble to my blogs are mostly perverts. LOL. ANd I definitely agree no one can sco like the real sco man!

  5. glad youre back up and running and youve got exciting keywords, THE scoman

  6. LOL! As always fantastic post!

    I'm sure I've had a perv or two.

  7. I've had some good ones on my blog, too! I made some unfortunate references to training the rabbit (in the form of taming the beast... you can imagine). I wonder what people thing when they stumble upon our blogs looking for something else entirely...

    I've seen lots do a version of the post, but you are the master ScoMan :)

  8. Damnit! I want your hits! I always get people looking for nipple stimulation.

    I might like that. Maybe.

    PS-Don't Call Me Kathleen RETURNED.


  9. hahaha love people find you by searching for andhari's alter ego!!!

    and maybe scoMEN are your fan club members looking for an online adventure?!?!

  10. Someone used "old man hater" to get to my blog. Strange....

  11. Yup yup, there's only one scoman (thank goodness hehehehe)... there's no one else like you out there in the world. =) you are truly one of a kind. hmmm...how did i come across your blog? whatever and how ever way i came across your blog, I'm just glad I did, because through that I have found a friend in you. =)


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