Welcome everybody to my commentary

I've got so much talent, it's a little scary

Is my every random thought insightful? Very

Not just entertaining- I'm a luminary

Neil Patrick Harris- Commentary! The Musical

Friday, January 9, 2009

Twenty steps to a working relationship

As some of you may now by now, myself and yourstruly100 (whose blog you can read here) share a similar point of view on the concept of love. Sometimes, I'm reading her blog, and I think "I could have written that myself.. if I could write that good.. either way, I was certainly thinking that"

When the first post I read of hers (which is here) contained this quote

"1. If you say everyday you like a guy. Eventually you will be in love with him!
[ yep! I don't believe in love! And maybe that's the reason I never feel it!]"

I knew I would enjoy hanging out at her blog.

And so, when she did her list of 20 things her ideal guy would need (which is here), I thought I might as well copy, because I've been struggling for ideas lately, and do the 20 rules of any relationship I would stand a chance in.
  1. the most important of all, must understand my incredible introversion. If I'm quiet, I'm reflecting, it's what I need to do to recharge so that I can be social at another point in time. If I'd rather stay in and read a book on a Saturday night than hang out with you and your friends, it's the introversion... honest...
  2. intelligence is important. I like to be challenged.
  3. must enjoy my music. Not only that, must be aware that Maynard James Keenan is a brilliant man, and should know and understand each and every one of his lyrics.
  4. Sometimes I will set myself a challenge which will definately be more important than anything you're doing, and so I will be unavailable until that challenge has been completed. Sometimes, that challenge might be something like watching the entire series 2 of Dexter back to back over one day.
  5. If I fall asleep whilst watching Test cricket, I am not to be woken up and the channel is not to be changed. Test Cricket is supposed to be watched like that.
  6. must understand all of my jokes, even if you don't think they're funny. I will not explain them to you.
  7. Not only that, I may be a vastly different person from one day to the next. One day I may be affectionate, the next I may be distant. You will respect and be ready for whichever mood I take (I think this is the same rule cats live by).
  8. On that subject, I am not a cat person. There will be no cats.
  9. I will not argue with you. That doesn't mean you win every argument, it just means I didn't think what we were arguing about was important.
  10. Here comes my favourite phrase again.. I do not like irrational social rituals. This means Valentines day and New Years eve and my birthday will not be celebrated by me (except for perhaps the having of "brinner"). If you're good, we might celebrate your birthday.
  11. My family is important to me and I will always take thier side. I am sick of a lot of my "friends" though, so if you could get rid of them I would be grateful (and we would celebrate your next three birthdays)
  12. I will not be available to do anything during Bathurst weekend.
  13. whilst I don't display emotion myself, I think they good things. They allow me to know what you're thinking, and they fascinate me
  14. Not a rule, but older is usually better. I tend to get along better with older girls (there are certainly a few exceptions. You know who you are. Let's just make it easy, if you're a female who is younger than me and you're currently a follower of this blog, you are one of the exceptions)
  15. If you want to do something, do it. If you feel I need to be informed, inform me. You don't need to ask for my approval (especially if me saying "No" would lead to me being yelled at)
  16. I will worry about the future. I will not always share these worries with you. Don't be concerned.
  17. I do not like the beach, or anywhere outdoors really. Or anywhere that there's people.
  18. if you're upset, I won't be able to offer you advice to help you through the situation. The best I can offer you bad jokes.
  19. I do not trust excitement and I do not know how to deal with over the top happiness.
  20. Sex is messy. I would only be in a relationship for the companionship. Maybe I should just get a rabbit.
There you have it. Possibly an explanation for why I'm single. With some of them, I did go over the top (I tried to build some humor into it). But amongst it all I think the 20 points are there. It's like, there's a 20 piece jigsaw puzzle and I just gave you 50 pieces, you have to work out what's important and put it together.

Unfortunately, as I was writing the points, I was thinking of a girl I knew who probably would have been able to live with most of them. She's gone now. Fuck.

I hope you enjoyed learning a little more about me. Remember pets, if there is anything you want to ask email askscoman@gmail.com before post 50 (this was 41). So far, I have been asked about 15 questions, so I may need to spill the answers over a few posts (or you might need to block out a weekend to read them.)

"But I like kids. I could never have them, since the idea of sex is no idea at all. Imagine doing those things- How can you? Where's your sense of dignity?"
"Darkly Dreaming Dexter"- Jeff Lindsay


  1. "If I fall asleep whilst watching Test cricket, I am not to be woken up and the channel is not to be changed. Test Cricket is supposed to be watched like that."

    This totally cracked me up!

    It's nice to finally get to know you a lot better! Thanks for enlightening me a bit! :)

  2. Glad you got a few laughs and learned a little about my world Random Hiccups!

    Exactly the two things I want people to get from this blog =D

  3. Just for the record: [;)]
    1,2.11 done!
    4,7- dude!! That is me!!
    5- test cricket- huh!! Sure you won't sleep if I am around. I will jump on every ball! Cricket is my blood!
    6- I guess I am smart enough :P
    8- pups??
    10- Birthdays are fun!! Valentines day is BS!
    13-- Emotion,16 [:(] [ doesn't match]
    14. Exception
    12- Need to google that- can't help different continent.:P

    So when should I move in [;)]

    I think I am your lost sister or something!!!

    But 20- brother!!Scorpio??? How can that be true???!!! [O.O]

    Bottom line: BEING SINGLE RULES! Most of the times.

  4. Sex is messy??? I don't know if we can be friends now. That's just disturbing!! lol j/k

  5. yourstruly100- I think you must be like my lost sister. Or maybe, when the book on how life is supposed to be lived was handed out, we got a different homework assignment to the rest of the class.
    And I do love cricket, but I also love nap time, and test cricket provides a good opportunity for both.

    Hillbilly Duhn- Awww come on! So I have a few odd quirks, but I'm still unique and loveable. I'm a great friend! Ask anyone. And if they say I'm not, they're a liar, and you should ask someone else instead =p

  6. This is completely hilarious.
    BTW, have you seen all Dexter episodes because I have some questions?

  7. Thanks Stephanie!

    And I have only seen the first two seaons of Dexter and the first episode of the third (ie everything they have shown us in Australia so far.)

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  9. "Not a rule, but older is usually better."

    True, but we both know I'm an old soul.

    "Sometimes I will set myself a challenge which will definately be more important than anything you're doing"

    Ok, question!!
    What if it's the same for me?
    Because basically in my mind anything I do is more important that the destiny of the world.

    "Sex is messy. I would only be in a relationship for the companionship. Maybe I should just get a rabbit. "

    Deal breaker..
    I'm returning the engagement ring.

  10. Thanks EcK! I was going through some financial troubles. Problem solved.

  11. Matt?
    Yourstruly can be yourstruly! :D we have a winner! (I don't care about the fac tthat she's a reader and blablabla) You go girl! I can give you my suitcases :D

  12. I think there was some Matt in there. You know what they say about loving me at my worst and desrving me at my best.

    It's also just occurred to me, nobody else knows who Matt is.

  13. i loved this so much i wanted to comment, but i thought it would be too long, so i just dedicated a post on my blog to it.

  14. Wow Patti Ann! A whole post dedicated to this subject? Well that makes me feel good.

    Of course, I won't be able to read the post until after work, but until that time I'll assume you said nice things.


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